Damaged goods // T.Kaulitz

I'm going to get myself stoned

I had no energy, I didn't feel anything. Not one bit of emotion.

Amelia was yelling at Tom in the other room and we all just sat around and watched.

"You alright?" Bill sat beside me and placed a hand on my back.

I nodded and placed my elbows on my knees, Amelia's voice was sp irritating and to hear the way she was talking to Tom.

"Oh my god..." I groaned, standing up.

I went into the room and walked past them to get some aspirin and a bottle of water.

"Can't you see we're talking?" She exclaimed at me.

"Yeah! About me! I can hear you..." I sighed, opening the fridge.

Her eyes were burning into the back of my skull, I've always been able to tell if someone is watching me.

"What?" I turned around to lock eyes with her.

"Leave!" She yelled.

"I'm staying here...this is where I work...and you're yelling at my friend in his space?" I said calmly, too tired to fight back.

"Friend? You seem more than friends to me! What's going on behind my back hm?" She clicked her fingers sassily.

"I have a better chance getting with you if I'm totally honest..." I shrugged, looking her up and down flirtatiously just to annoy her.

"Ew I'm not gay!" She threw her hands up.

"I can see that" I started to walk off but she grabbed my wrist.

I immediately thought of my dad and snatched my wrist back. I fought back the instinct to swing my fist across her face.

"Don't fucking touch me..." I held my arm tight.

"What? Did I hurt your scars?" She mocked.

I took a deep breath and glared at her. My mind was telling me to punch her but my body was exhausted. Tom looked shocked.

"What the fuck-" I cut Tom off by putting my hand over his mouth.

"Just leave it...I'm going to get myself stoned..." I walked out and went to my bag in the corner, pulling out a joint.

-

I just sat up on the roof of the studio and stayed there. It was my way of getting away from everyone without driving away which I was too tired to do.

The weed hit hard and I felt relaxed for once. My eyes fell a little so I led down, closing my eyes.

"Hey...don't fall asleep on the roof by the way!" I heard Tom call.

I looked over and saw him climbing through the attic window. He smiled at me and I looked back up.

"How you feeling? Good trip or a bad one?" He came over.

"It's alright..." I nodded, not looking at him.

"So how you feeling in general...your break down scared me earlier..." He sat beside me with his knees to his chest.

"Tom...can I tell you something? Ive never told anyone it before..." I said softly.

"Of course..." He looked down at me.

"I'm bipolar...I was diagnosed when I was thirteen..."

"That explains a lot..." He smiled a little.

"I'm sorry if I ever snapped at you...or did something that scared you...I don't mean it I promise..." I shook my head and watched the star that flew across the sky.

He shuffled and placed his head beside mine, I knew Amelia would have a fit if she saw us right now but I don't care.

"I know you don't..."

"I feel like I can trust you...that doesn't happen often...and I don't want to fuck up our friendship..." I picked at my lips.

"Keira...you're not gonna fuck it up...why would you think that? He turned onto his side and pulled my hand away from my lips.

"It's just...I know I'm a bitch towards people, I'm defensive...I get angry easily...and not many people are gonna deal with that and I don't blame them...I feel like a shit friend a lot of the time..." I explained.

"You're one of the most caring friends I've had...you understand how much a person can go through without judging them...you stay by their side and would fight someone to save their ass...you're not a shit friend, you're just a kid who's been through a lot of shit..."

This boy just seemed to understand every word that came out my mouth. He knew what it was like to grow up like me, he knew how cruel a parent can be to their child. That's probably why I trust him so much.

I turned on my side and looked at him, "I'm sorry if I ever do lash out at you..."

"Like I said...I know you don't mean it..." He placed his hand on top of my arm and smiled.

-

We led there for a while, I don't know how long. The weed made it difficult to tell how long we were there.

I started to feel my eyes droop so Tom shook my awake.

"Don't fall asleep on the roof!" He laughed, sitting up.

"Shut up Tom!" I groaned, sitting up also.

"Come on!" He stood up and pulled me up.

"You're an asshole..." I sighed.

We climbed back through the window and locked it in case it rained or anything. I went to one of the bedrooms and he followed me in.

I led down and took off my shoes. He led beside me.

"Hi" I smiled, looking over at him.

"I don't want to leave you alone cause I don't want you doing anything to yourself..." He said softly.

"I don't want you doing anything to yourself either..." I replied, lying on my side.

"I'm not going to...I promised Bill..." He shrugged.

"Neither am I...I promised Bill too..." I smiled a little bit.