Damaged goods // T.Kaulitz

I understand

-A week later-

Me and Tom were let out the hospital, the only problem is that there were a shit ton of paparazzi outside. The security didn't do a good job of keeping them off the grounds at all.

"For fucksake..." I groaned, looking through the glass of the door to go outside.

"You'll be ok!" Tom nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on kids!" John called, coming over with two body guards.

The sound of his voice annoyed me, but me and Tom walked out. Bill had gone to the new studio we managed to get, one where no one knows we live there other than close family members and us.

"KEIRA!"

"TOM!"

So many voices overlapped with questions and our names being called. This just made my already existing headache worse.

"Stand back!" A guard called, directing them back a bit.

Everything seemed to be going slower, I turned my head and saw Tom walking as if we weren't surrounded by tons of people. I felt his hand held my wrist softly which made me snap back into reality a little bit.

"Keira! Why did you kill your father?!" Someone jumped in front of me.

With out thinking I pushed him backwards out of instinct. He fell to the floor and I just stared at him, he looked terrified.

"Keep walking!" John whispered angrily, pushing me forward a little.

"I'm gonna punch one of these fuckers now..." I mumbled, looking around again.

"Keira! How did you feel when your experienced such a betrayal?!"

"Tom!! Why did you jump in front of that bullet?!"

"Tom-"

"Keira-"

I started to tune out the questions and feel overwhelmed. My heart was pounding and so was my head. As they asked questions to do with the incident the memories came back.

How it felt to have people press down on the fresh wound, shooting my father, seeing Tom on the floor, Bill being forced to hold a gun to my head.

Tom once again grabbed my hand to make me feel somewhat grounded again. My thoughts started to disappear but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was a guard or the manager as they were in eyesight.

Without thinking I swung around and struck the reporter across the face.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled, turning forward again and kept walking.

"You're gonna get yourself arrested if you don't stop!" John said angrily but quietly.

"They can arrest me! I don't give a shit!" I snapped.

We got to the van and we climbed into the back.

-Tom's pov-

I could see the pain and annoyance in Keira's face. I've always noticed she hates crowds, especially if she has something going on already.

"Keira! If you haven't already ruined our image then you just have!" John snapped, getting into the passenger seat.

"I acted on instinct...I'm sorry" She sighed, running her hands through her hair.

"What instinct! You're an eighteen year old girl! I understand the stuff you just went through but still!"

"What instinct? Are you joking?!" She sat forward and placed her elbows on he knees, "If you went through a single thing I have gone through I guarantee you wouldn't survive it!"

"Like what?"

"Oh I don't know! Being kidnapped, held at gunpoint by my own dad and friend, straight up murdering my father, YEARS of abuse, gang violence, overdoses, manic and depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts...I could go on! So I'm sorry if tons of people asking about it and jumping in front of me overwhelms me!"

He went quiet as we started to drive, she just slumped back into her seat with her arms crossed. The paparazzi were trying to get as close to the van as possible but we quickly got of the hospital grounds and onto the road.

She bit her nails and the insides of her lips and I could swear she was about to cry. She had explained how the meds were making her feel this emotional but to me it's just normal emotions.

"You alright?" I said quietly.

"Mhm..." She nodded, still staring out the window.

Sometimes I wished she talked about her feelings, maybe then I wouldn't be so scared of what she was going to do.

-Keira's pov-

There's something wrong with me. Everyone keeps telling me these are normal feelings but it's not. They don't seem to understand that my normal is having as little as possible and shoving everything down.

"Keira..." He pulled my hand away from my mouth and held in the middle seat.

"I'm fine Tom!" I shrugged, "Just tired..."

"You can talk to me...I was there when it happened...I understand!"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking away.

"Please..." He held my face and turned it towards him.

I stared at him for a second before moving my head back away from his hand.

"I'm fine Tom" I sighed.

He sat back and faced forward, I could tell he was worried. His eyes narrow when he's scared or worried and his lips purse a little bit.

"Tom...seriously! I'm fine!" I said calmly, taking his hand again.

I wasn't doing fine. I think I'm feeling one of the worse I've ever felt. I wanted to go back to feeling nothing, to not having so many emotions overwhelm me at once.

"You're not...I can tell when you're lying..." He sighed as we pulled up into the driveway of a nice looking house.

"Is this the new place?" I opened the door.

"Yeah and it's all yours to share!" John passed a key each to me and Tom.

"Wait actually? It's not just a studio?" Tom said with his jaw dropped.

"Where else you gonna stay? Me and the team pulled it together...it's a five bedroom, all with bathrooms, has the usual shit...just go check it out! I think you'll like it!"

I stepped out the van and went to the door, it was already unlocked because Bill, Gustav and Georg were there.