Damaged goods // T.Kaulitz

The girl in blood

-A month later-

The music we were playing filled the room, I managed to find some good rhythms to play with their songs.

"Should we try...Wo sind eure Hände?" Bill asked.

This one was one of my favourites to do but every time we did, Tom was somewhere else. So I've never heard him in this.

"Yeah" We all agreed.

We started to play, Tom seemed more nervous than he was a few seconds ago.

"Ich hör alles ist so wichtig, schon klar. Die anderen machen's auch, jaja ganz genau ist richtig!" Bill sang.

He kept singing with me joining in every now and then.

"Heute sind wir hier!" We both sang, "Die Welt bleibt vor der Tür!"

"Was jetzt zählt seid ihr," He sang on his own.

"Wo sind eure Hände?" Me and Tom sang, it was unexpected when he joined in so I looked over and smiled.

His voice was amazing, I've never heard him sing before. Is that why he seemed so nervous? Cause he had to sing?

"Chaos Im system!" Bill sang.

Every time the chorus came up I couldn't help but look over at Tom as he sang. It made me smile to see him so nervous before he did it and then how confident he looked while singing. When the song ended we all laughed.

"I didn't know you could sing" I smiled at Tom.

"I don't do it often..." He sighed, looking at his hands.

I'm guessing they hurt from playing so much, mine did to and Georg's probably did.

"We're filming another episode today...and we can also introduce Keira!" Bill said, stepping away from the microphone.

"Oh god" I laughed nervously.

"You'll be fine!" Tom came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.

-

The time has come, the crew were setting up in the living room and I was making a sandwich in the kitchen with Tom.

"Tom that's gonna be dry as fuck!" I looked at his sandwich.

"It's gonna be...what's the word? Fucksake!" He laughed, "Whats lecker in English?"

"Delicious?" I held back laughter.

"Yeah that!" He pointed at me.

"Ok Tom" I rolled my eyes.

"We would like to introduce Keira!" Bill came in with the crew and a camera.

"Hey!" I smiled, flattening the sandwich and went to cut it.

"Nein! Keira!" Tom pushed me aside and took the knife from my hand.

He cut it a completely different way to the way I was going to and then pushed the plate over to me.

"Was there any need for that?" I asked.

"Ja! It bothers me how you cut it!" He sighed, cutting his sandwich.

I looked over at him with a dirty look before rolling my eyes.

"So Keira, do you wanna tell us about yourself?" The man behind the camera asked.

"I play guitar...I don't really know what to say!" I laughed, covering my smile with my hand.

"How do you feel about fans calling you 'The girl in blood'?"

"They call me that?" I asked, "Why?"

"Cause you were literally covered in blood the day the fans saw you with us!" Gustav commented, coming in.

"It's my own by the way!" I looked at the camera.

"Why were you covered in blood?"

I looked up at Tom and Bill, their faces went white.

"Got into a fight...long story!" I lied, smiling still.

"Did you win?"

"Fuck yeah..." I nodded, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"When did you start playing guitar?"

"Oo...uhm...when I was nine? I think?" I nodded, sitting up on the counter, "My mom gave me a guitar for my birthday!"

The thought of my mom made me sad, she was alone in that house with my dad. Not that she'll care. She's never even fully there. Since I was five I don't think she's ever been emotionally available, she needed help but always refused.

"Are you ok Keira?" One of the crew members snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah!" I put the smile back on my face.

"Did you hear the question?"

"No...sorry! What was it?" I sat up straighter.

"How do your parents feel about this? You've just joined a huge band after all!" The man smiled.

"They don't know..." I dug my nails into my thigh, the man looked at me confused, "We have a complicated relationship!"

Complicated as in, my father has almost killed me and my brother multiple times and my mom doesn't give a shit about it or anything in general.

"Ah ok!" He nodded.

-

I sat on the couch, the crew were leaving and saying their goodbyes. I just waved to them as they left.

"I'm probably gonna take off too..." I sighed, standing up as the boys came in.

"Ok..." Bill smiled.

"I'll see you all tomorrow!"

"Bye!" They all called.

I walked out and got into my car, where I had been sleeping for the past month. I showered at the studio before everyone came, I ate there but slept in my car.

I drove out onto the road and went to my usual spot, the cliff. Even though I was going to kill myself here, I found some comfort sleeping up there. Maybe it was the fact Tom stopped me that day and was where we talked and bonded a little more.

Once I was parked safely I put the seat back and grabbed the blankets from the back. I pulled them over myself and led on my side, this is how I've spent almost every night for the past month, every now and then I'd have a party and just pass out at their house.

I couldn't risk staying at my friend's house as my dad could find me there. I couldn't stay at the studio because I didn't own it and it would be pretty weird if only I move there. So the car is my only option.