What You Don't See (wlw)

[13] Back to School

Amy

It was safe to say I was dreading going back to school on Monday. I'd managed to basically do nothing the rest of the weekend, going back home on Sunday and pretty much sleeping/doom scrolling for the rest of the day. I could tell my dad knew something was up, asking more questions than normal when we made dinner together but I didn't have the heart to tell him what had happened. He would almost definitely get the school involved, and I really didn't want that at all right now.

It just felt so embarrassing; the whole point of the last few years had been proving to myself that I wasn't completely helpless with my disability but it was like Saturday had just unraveled all of that. I needed someone to rescue me because I had a whole breakdown instead of sorting it out myself. In hindsight, it was obvious - I could have just used my phone's GPS to orientate and then go from there. What hurt the most about the whole thing is that I'd basically proved Henrietta right about what she'd told me about my own independence. It made me feel like shit.

I knew what she was like as well - I'd seen just how much effort she'd put into making Verity miserable at school. Was she going to do the same to me? Would she tell everybody what had happened to make me look like the helpless personal project she saw me as? Would everyone laugh at me? I tried my hardest not to feel too sick as I ate my breakfast, attempting to diminish all the anxiety I was feeling. It reminded me of all the bullying and teasing I'd experienced when I was younger in school, times I'd made such an effort to forget.

"I think Verity's here." My dad told me, snapping me out of all the negative thoughts. Sure enough, a few seconds later I heard her knock on the front door.

"Oh yeah, I think she said she was going to bus with me today." I responded, giving a smile. Verity had pretty much been the one keeping me going this weekend. Even when I'd gone home, we'd been texting and she'd offered to pick me up this morning so we could go to school together. I think she'd sensed that right now I wanted to avoid being alone at all costs.

"That's nice of her. It sounds like you're becoming good friends." He replied, with a tone that said he wanted me to elaborate. I would tell him soon, that was inevitable, I just didn't want to tell him anything right now. It was wrong I know - he was most likely the most supportive person I had in my life right now, I just wasn't ready. I heard him walk over and open the door for Verity, while I got my cane unfolded and bag on my back.

"Hi Mr Rivers," I heard her say and then after a few seconds "Hey Amy." I could easily detect the smile in her voice and it immediately made me feel less anxious, even by just a little. School could be the worst, I recognised that, but at least I had someone next to me the whole time.

XXX

And next to me the whole time, she really was. I think she could tell that I was holding onto her arm a little more tightly than usual, and never really let go for most of the day, but she didn't say anything or tell me stop. In some ways, the closeness felt more natural than before. It was like we just... I don't know, clicked I guess.

"Don't leave me!" I said in a joking tone when she dropped me off in class. She didn't do History so she wasn't in the same class unfortunately.

"You'll be fine! It's just dates and stuff, the hour will fly by!" She responded and I laughed

"Dates and stuff?"

"I don't know, I haven't done History since like year 9." She laughed "I've got physics so I'm pretty sure I've got the short straw."

"Yeah, fair enough actually; physics does sound like hell. All that... maths and rockets and energy." She burst out laughing at that point in and I joined in.