What You Don't See (wlw)

[8] Initiating Contact

Amy

My first week of school went by fairly quickly, the novelty wearing off and a routine firmly established. Hanging out with Henrietta and her friends was definitely something getting older by the day, with their obsessive observations and judgment of other girls at the school becoming more and more insufferable, along with Henrietta's undying interest in me as a blind person.

The more I thought about how she treated me, the more it frustrated me. The one thing I always appreciated from my friends back home was that they didn't care that I was blind. Sure, it's about treating me the same as everyone else, but it was also about not just seeing my blindness as my main character trait. We made jokes about it – so many jokes about it – but I knew that they weren't just friends with me because I was the new exciting blind girl, but because, well, they actually liked me. It's pretty obvious to me now that Henrietta is completely different, and it's not an understatement to say her need to be treated like some kind of saint for helping me around hasn't gone unnoticed, by me at least. She also hadn't stopped grabbing my arm every time she wanted to lead me somewhere.

I was explaining this all to my dad on Saturday morning in the kitchen, him attempting to make poached eggs on toast. I laughed when he told me he wanted to finally start learning to cook, now that we didn't have Mrs Reading to look after us, but it did seem like he was serious about it, and I had to respect it. I was still always going to spend time with him during meal prep though, no matter how good he got at it; it was just something we had always done, and I never wanted that to end.

"Oh wow yeah I understand why you don't like this girl; she sounds very unkind." Being kind is a big part of my dad's philosophy in life. He taught me and Dylan from a very early age that being mean automatically makes you a mean person, no matter how many reasons you give to justify it. I guess it's all about choosing to follow opportunities to be nice, and I think it might be why I physically couldn't stand Henrietta and her posse talk about Verity in the way that they did. "Not all the girls are like that though are they?"

"Well, I mean it seems like a lot of people really like Henrietta and her mentality." I remark, showing a grimace on my face. The sniggering every time she's mean was proof enough of that.

"Oh no, that's disappointing." There's a pause before he continues, and I almost know what he's going to say before he says it - my dad's love and concern for me was unwavering. I used to think it was some sort of compensation for my mum. "They're not being hurtful to you are they? You're still feeling okay at this school despite these girls?"

"Oh yeah yeah school itself is fine." It wasn't a lie at all - since Verity agreed to come with me to talk to Mrs Woolley, things with the teachers were getting better. We actually ended up talking to Mrs Allwood - the pastoral manager - about it as well and she was genuinely really helpful. She organised a whole meeting with all my teachers to discuss my needs in a really non-awkward way and they all seem to get it now. "And I do have a friend that's not like that anyway."

"Oh great! Who's that?" I could feel the relief coming from him without having to see his face after finding out that yes, I actually did have a nice friend here. It's safe to say that I haven't always had the best experiences at school and sometimes I think my dad took it as hard as I did at the time.

"Oh, it's Verity actually."

"Oh wait, Verity from next door?" He sounded surprised, but I guess part of that probably came from his experience of her being really shy on the first day and then kind of getting flustered when asking if I wanted to go shopping with her.

"Yeah! She's actually really super nice once you get to know her." I consider letting him know about her situation at school with Henrietta but decide against it right now. He cares about being kind, but I know he'll ultimately worry more about what would happen if my friendship with her would bring on another wave of bullying. I don't really see it that way, but I know he would. "We sit next to each other in English."

"Aw I'm really happy you've found someone nice to spend time with." He said, using the voice me and Dylan described as his 'wholesome voice'. "It's great how easy you two can hang out outside of school as well with her living so close."

"Yeah, that's true!" It sounds weird but I hadn't really thought about that aspect of our friendship. Some of my old friends lived miles away and buses and trains were always a big hassle to navigate. Maybe I could go and see Verity today: would that be a good idea? I had no clue.

XXX

And that's how I ended up there, in the house next door after knocking and being ushered inside by Mrs Winters. She was just as frosty as before, but she sounded fairly pleased when I told her I was there to see Verity.

"Oh... hi Amy." I heard from the other side of what I presumed was their living room; I'd been told to wait here on a sofa for Verity so it was a pretty easy guess.

"Oh hi Verity - sorry I didn't mean to intrude or anything," I said "I just thought we could maybe hang out?"

"No no it's absolutely fine don't worry." She replied, giving out a breath I didn't know she was holding. This was at least the second time this had happened - did she just constantly hold her breath or something? "it's... really nice actually. Do you erm... do you wanna come up to my bedroom?"

"Oh yeah sure!" I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, not because I didn't feel enthusiastic - I wanted to hang out with her - but more for her benefit. It didn't surprise me when Esther said that Verity was sad a lot of the time - I could always seem to tell it in her voice. I guess some part of me wanted to at least cheer her up a little bit.

I ditched my cane as we headed upstairs - it's easier that way in houses usually - and walked through a doorway into what I assumed was Verity's bedroom.

"Is the window open?" I asked her, not really knowing why other than that it was mid autumn and fairly unusual to have windows open at this time.

"Yeah it is actually, how did you know?" She replied, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Oh it's just the air in here feels colder than the other parts of your house and there's kind of really slight breeze coming from opposite the door." I don't know why, but I always got slightly embarrassed when I explained how I knew things that other people just used their sight to identify. I guess it had something to do with how similar it sounded to the whole weird Sherlock Holmes deduction speech thing that always seemed to take place in the tv show. I didn't want people to get the impression I was that meticulous in new environments, but being blind there was always some level of analysis going on, and for some reason that was embarrassing. Make it make sense.

"Oh that's really cool actually - I've never really thought of it like that." Verity said, like she actually meant it which eased some of the tension I'd manage to create in my own head. "But yeah, the window's open because I was just sitting on the roof earlier, and err... that's how I get to it."

"Wait the roof?" Well, that was new. It did sound like a cool hangout spot though, in all fairness. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Actually it's pretty safe up there - the roof is strong and there's a ledge out of my window that you can just sit on," She replied

"Do you think maybe we could go up there now?" I know how insane the thought was, but at the same time it sounded kind of cool.

"Well, we could definitely try." She laughs.