The Pogue Princess

𝖯𝖱𝖮𝖫𝖮𝖦𝖴𝖤

There was only yelling. I heard my mother beg for my father to let her go, and I heard my father continuously threaten to hurt her. The usual cacophony that would fill my ears daily. My mother was such a wonderful woman. Kind, sweet, loving, smart and she was gorgeous. She owned her own company and was a successful women. My father should be grateful he was able to keep her for this long. He was a drug addict with no money living off of her income. He would constantly threaten to hurt her, and insult her like she was worthless when in reality it was the other way around.

She always talked about leaving with me and Diego. Taking us somewhere safe, away from him and his toxicity. Where he couldn't hurt me or her. Where Diego could remain his bubbly, innocent self. She wanted to take us, she wanted to so badly. I never understood why she wouldn't just do it. Why she decided to leave in fear and sadness instead of fighting for our freedom.

Last night, I saw her packing. I thought the time had finally come, we would finally escape this prison cell he had us held in. I never expected her to leave without me and Diego. I watched as he slapped her in the face again, tears falling down her cheeks. She was yelling horrible things at him and he was spitting his hateful comments right back. Then she picked up her bags and left. In her car, out the driveway, and gone.

What would I do now? I was trapped with the monster I have as a father. I couldn't just leave on my own, I needed her to help me. To protect me, be the only good thing in this house. She needed to help me protect Diego from ever dealing with the beatings. She failed to do so with me, but we agreed we would save Diego. Together. But she just left. And she left me behind.

I heard the door slam and the yell from my dad. I knew this wasn't going to be good, it would be a never ending day. I tried to gather my stuff to get out for awhile with Diego, let Papa blow of some steam without using me as his punching bag but I wasn't fast enough. He stormed through my door and just started yelling.

"You see what you did, you made her leave! You're such a disappointment your mother abandoned you. You see that, not even she loves you"

"I-, I'm sorry"

"You're sorry? So what! You piece of shit, you ruined my life! From the second you were born everything went downhill! How do you expect me to pay for all your crap now eh? I cant afford you two rats on my own!" he said as he got closer to me.

"Ill get a job Papa don't worry. Ill... Ill find a way to help"

"That's not gonna cut it is time. You caused this! You cant just find a way to make this better Briella! You such an unlikeable bitch that you made you mother leave, the love of my life! How fucking dare you!"

As he said that he slapped me across the face. My skin burned, and tears formed in my eyes. I knew he was just drunk, but drunk words are sober thoughts.

He looked like he was done after that, he even walked out the room. I was ready to go, quickly grab Diego and head to a mall, a store, a beach, anywhere but here. Then he came back in my room with that stupid bat. The bat he bought when I was three years old. The bat he would constantly use to hit my mother when he was angry. The bat he used to break two walls, seven chairs, three pictures and two of my ribs. I shook in fear as he walked closer, and closer. Until he was close enough to kick my on my side and start hitting my stomach. He swung and swung, taking the air out of my body, any hope i had to escape was gone. The bat colliding with my ribs and my stomach until I could barely move. Just a numb body on the floor.

"Its all your fault! She left because of you, you caused her so much stress and pain. The reason of my unhappiness, and your mother's depression. Your not my daughter, you're just a bitch I have to deal with! Get up! Help your brother pack."

"Pack, for what?"

"Were not staying in this house, I cant fucking afford it."

"Oh, ok"

"We are leaving in a week, probably somewhere out east."

I slowly got up and made my way to the bathroom. Being careful not to move to quickly. I got in and carefully removed my shirt. Looking in the mirror and seeing the mess he left. My stomach was already turning purple with bruises, ribs ached to the point that i couldn't take any deep breaths. I cleaned my face before I went into Diego's room. Needing to hide any sign of sadness from him. He knew that dad wasn't the nicest guy, but he didn't know he did this to me or Mami. He just thought he was an unhappy, grumpy old man. And I wanted to keep it like that.

Walking in his room I saw him lying on his bed in the corner. He was obviously scared after hearing dad's screams. He knew to stay hidden in his room the second he hears Papa getting a bit to loud. It was the only way to keep him safe and out of the way.

"Gogo, we gotta pack up your room. Can you help me out please?"

"Why do we have to pack? Are we going with Mami? I saw her leave before''

My heart dropped, he sounded so excited, hopping he was about to be free of his miserable father. He had no clue she left us to save herself, and he didn't know she was probably not coming back.

This kid has gone threw so much. He hears his mother cry at night, hears his father call her names, he knows too much for his age. He should still not know about this side of the world, with sadness and anger. It should all look like a happy place for him. I wish I could just take him and run away, show him how life could be. How it should be. But I just don't have the money to do that, Mami was supposed to provide that part.

"No. Diego, Mami went on a vacation for awhile with work. We don't know when she's gonna be back but we are gonna move houses, so papa doesn't have any money problems. He'll be a bit happier this way so help me pack your stuff please"

Diego got up and started putting stuff in boxes. He was talking about his school friends and how he would miss them. Asking if he would be able to visit and how long Mami's vacation was. I just said it was a really long one for work, but I knew he didn't believe me. My heart was sinking deeper and deeper in my stomach the more I think about the stuff this kid is going through.

It took a good 2 hours to finish his room. Packing everything in boxes, attempting to throw out things he didn't need, even if he claimed they were "vital for existence".

Once we were all done, we went out for slushies at my favorite spot. Not far from home, but perfect for a quick escape.

"What color Gogo?"

"Mmmm, green and yellow Ellie!"

"Those are the worst colors, banana and lime! I don't get how you could possibly like that."

"I don't, but its Mami's favorite so I wanna try it!"

I paid for the slushes, and we walked back home. It was hard to hide my discomfort, each step causing more and more pain to my abdomen and chest. It may have been more then one broken rib and bruises. I would have to sit in a cold bath or something tonight.

I put Gogo to bed and then got to packing my own room. I had a lot of stuff in there. I kept everything. Every letter, drawing, gift, anything that held memories. A bit hypocritical, but these things had a value to me. Diego wanted to keep things he hadn't even realized he had.

As I was sorting threw my things, I saw the rock Mami gave me by the river, when she said she would get me out of here. She told me all about the life we would live together, the joy we could feel, places we could visit, things we could do. That was a promise she really failed at keeping. She just got a young girls hopes up.

I got to my dolphin pictures and had to stop. Dolphins always seem so happy. They never look sad, always swimming and jumping through the waves. Even if they look happy, no one knows if they actually are. It's a mystery, but it is why they are so great. They hide their emotions in such a perfect way, the only one they allow us to see is happiness. Maybe one day ill be like a dolphin. Maybe one day ill go live with them too.