𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 ༉‧₊ 𝙠𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣

09

kenma's pov;

i had a dream that night.

for once in the past four years, i had a dream that wasn't a nightmare. it wasn't a nightmare, yet it was still scary. in the dream i had that night, i was with the devil himself. i was laughing, and i was happy. we were somewhere i didn't recognize, and i was with someone i didn't know things about, yet it was the warmest and the happiest dream i've ever had. he took me to the place he liked, and i had the best time with him. at the end of everything, he leaned down towards my ear, and whispered "as long as i'm here, i won't let anything happen to you."

that was weird, yet it wasn't even the worst part about the dream. the worst part was this; me waking up in his arms.

i could blame it on him, though. i could blame it on him and say he was the one holding me. i could blame it on him and say he held me in place because he was stronger than me. i could blame it on him from any perspective and satisfy myself. but all of my hopes flew right out of the bedroom window when i opened my eyes, and they adjusted to the morning light.

i was holding kuroo. with my head on his arm, my arms wrapped around his chest, and my legs completely tangled with his. my eyes widened, and my face grew warm at the proximity between us. i removed my arms immediately, and moved my head away. i was about to turn to the other side but strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me towards kuroo. he snuggled closer to me, resting his chin on my head. and just like that i was hopelessly, both physically and mentally, trapped against him.

i hated it, though. not the fact that he was holding me, but the fact that i didn't hate him holding me. which was confusing, because under normal circumstances, i never would've allowed this. and i never would've initiated a hug. but then again, i never had a friend. so maybe this was normal for friends? because lev was carrying yaku-san on his back yesterday after he got too tired, and akaashi kept holding bokuto-san's hand to make sure he wasn't scared. so maybe this was normal, and kuroo was holding me because with his friends it was casual.

that sounded good in my head. convincing. but who was going to explain it to my heart that was thumping really loudly in my chest right now?

i didn't have to, though. because there was a knock on the door, and kuroo grumbled in his sleep. his eyes caught mine when he opened them, and for a moment, he paused. with his mouth opened, he blinked at me once. twice. thrice before he let go of me and moved back. his face immediately turned red as he looked in the opposite direction.

"i-i'm sorry," he mumbled. "i was asleep, i didn't really know what i was doing, i'm sorry," he repeated.

at that i realised that he didn't do it with all of his friends, which set my face blazing too. there was another knock on the door, but before either of us could answer, the door burst open.

"hey lev, you should respect someone's privacy!" yaku-san yelled, standing at the door.

"calm down, yaku-san. what could they be doing–" lev, who was already halfway into the room, paused when he looked at me. and then at kuroo. and then again at me before he cleared his throat. "did i interrupt something?" he raised an eyebrow, confused.

"no," i retorted immediately, getting embarrassed.

"oh," he let out a nervous chuckle. "see, yaku-san, i told you it'll be fine!" he turned towards him, but before he could say anything, yaku-san dragged him out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"come downstairs for breakfast when you're done!" he shouted outside the room.

there was silence in the room after that. because what the hell did he mean by 'when you're done'? we weren't even doing anything!

i took in a deep breath and sighed, turned towards kuroo. his back was facing me, so i cleared my throat as i called out to him.

"kuroo," i saw him flinch a little before he turned towards me, light blush still covering his cheeks. "thank you for last night."

and my eyes widened at that. i immediately slapped a hand over my face, realizing what i'd just said. i shook my head.

"i mean–" his loud laughter cut me off. i just stared at him as he laughed, confused as hell. his eyes were partly closed, shining because of the morning light. his bed hair were covering his forehead completely, and looked fluffy. he seemed so lively, and so healthy.

a total opposite of me.

"man, you're so cute," his voice interjected my trail of thoughts, and i raised an eyebrow at him. he'd stopped laughing by now, and was looking at me with a small smile. his eyes looking brighter than ever. "i mean it," was the last thing he said before he  got up and went inside the bathroom.

and just like that, whatever composure i had when he was around faded as i flopped down on the bed and stuffed my face inside my pillow.

this isn't okay.

+ + +

we ate breakfast then, together with everyone. and after everything, we both walked back home together.

"whats your favorite color," he started, and i grimaced at him.

"seriously? that's how you're starting a conversation?" i raised an eyebrow.

"of course i am! what's wrong about that? i just want to get to know you," he smiled at me and i sighed.

"why even bother."

"because i like you," he smiled at me again, bigger. brighter. and i rolled my eyes.

"what are you doing next weekend could be a better question," i replied, kicking a rock on the pathway.

"oh, then what are you doing next weekend?" he repeated, and i chuckled at that.

"probably playing games," i inhaled a deep breath and stopped in my tracks as i looked up at him. "do you like playing games?"

"no," he said, and i felt a little disappointed. it would've been fun if he did. i could've played games with a friend in real life, an experience i never had. "still, go ahead and ask me."

my eyes widened at that, and i hesitated a bit.

"will you ever play with me?"

"yes," his eyes held a glint that was different than before. it was different, yet they still held the same honesty. it was cold outside, and the gust of wind that blew past us took my voice away with it. because i was sure i said it. i was sure of what i said, but kuroo didn't hear it.

"i'm glad we met."

(a/n); RAHHHHH 👹👹👹 I JUST UPDATED.

i'm sorry for not updating for so long lol i was busy and i forgot i existed (real)

anyways, i'm probably starting classes because i have my practical exams and i don't know anything 😘😘🔥

stay safe and don't forget to drink water <3