𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑬𝑺

| 14 |

|| The Confession ||

The only funeral I've ever been to in my life was my brother's. It was over a decade ago but still I feel like I remember it like the back of my hand.

My parents only invited close family, it was an intimate funeral. More times than not I found myself going to the bathroom to cry and my mom caught on pretty quickly.

I remember at one point we were both crying together in the bathroom. She held me, she kissed my forehead and comforted me which comforted her. The tears never stopped coming.

Even now I still sometimes cry remembering the funeral, how no one should have to bury their older brother so young. If I could go back, do life over to make sure I found him before he died, I would've.

No matter how much trauma, nightmares, crying I would've done and gotten. I would've done it, I needed him and he never knew how much.

"Hey, are you almost ready? No rush, just wanted to check," Alessio poked his head into my bedroom and I quickly wiped my palms against my cheeks. A somber smile sat on my lips when I pulled the edge of my tight black dress down. "Flower, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just trying to see if this dress is too much for a funeral," Alessio hadn't believed a word I said, the evidence evident on his face. He approached me and moved his fingers to help me zip up the rest of my dress.

"It's perfect, Niella, don't worry. If you aren't comfortable going to this funeral I'll understand, you don't know anyone and it could be uncomfortable," you know those words that are on the top of your tongue but there's just never a right time to blurt them out?

It feels like the words 'I'm in love with you' have been sitting on my tongue for the last two weeks, since the night we had dinner. I wanted to tell him but we were in a good place, we were going out, always leaving stores with something for the baby.

Things were nice. I just hope my heart won't ruin it.

"No, I want to go. I am your guest and I want to be there for you. Just let me grab my—"

"Tums, nausea pills, your water bottle and your phone? I already put them in your bag," I bit my top lip to stop myself from grinning. Alessio did it for me, a grin stretching from ear to ear across his face and he didn't even try to hide it.

"Well aren't you on top of everything," I lifted my foot to adjust the flats before taking one last look in the mirror. "Okay, I'm ready to go now. Hopefully I didn't make us late," Alessio sucked his tongue with a quick shake of his head.

"Trust me love, you didn't. You worry way too much," he lifted his fingers to pull a few loose curls from behind my ears. There was a moment of silence, a moment of me indulging in the eyes of Alessio.

I always wondered what I looked like in his eyes. Like, if we weren't around each other and someone asked him about me... how would he describe me to them?