Endless chase [Woosan ff]

10 - Never

When San wakes up the following morning, Wooyoung is still wrapped into San's warm embrace, completely asleep.

San can't see his face from the position he's in, but he wonders if Wooyoung has a conflicted expression painted on his face.

He knows Wooyoung will freak out when he wakes up.

That's exactly the reason why San doesn't want this moment to end: he wants to keep Wooyoung wrapped in his arms forever, his sweet scent tingling his nostrils, his fluffy hair sprawled out on the pillow.

San doesn't want Wooyoung to wake up, because the split second the younger opens his eyes, all the regret and disgust are gonna come to the surface, and he's gonna cut San out of his life.

So San cherishes these few minutes he's got left with the love of his life, holding him closer and more tightly, burying his face into Wooyoung's crook of the neck to inhale his scent for the last time.

San really tries not to cry, but he can't hold on anymore.

Silent tears fall down his cheeks, and the next second his whole body is shaking while holding Wooyoung so tightly that it's a miracle the younger hasn't suffocated yet.

- San, oh my God, San! - Wooyoung is now awake, trying to escape San's grip.

- D-Don't l-leave m-me. - San pleads, fighting Wooyoung's attempts to break free and run away from him. - P-Please. -

- What's wrong? - Wooyoung takes ahold of one of San's wrists, rubbing it gently to comfort the older.

- P-Please, W-Woo, d-don't leave m-me. - San is sobbing desperately now, praying to any god out there that Wooyoung won't walk out of his life.

He needs Wooyoung.

He needs him to breathe.

San doesn't even want to think about how his life could be without the younger, how much of a hell that would be.

So he just keeps on pleading Wooyoung not to leave, to stay there with him as he holds him close.

Wooyoung isn't fighting anymore. He's just silently accepting the fact that San's arms are too strong for him to be able to escape, so he remains there, whispering soothing words which San doesn't hear.

- Sannie, can you tell me what's wrong? - This San does hear, and his sobs halt for a while.

Wooyoung's voice isn't angry. His voice is soft, and his tone is... caring?

- I-I'm so s-sorry, Woo. - San sniffles against Wooyoung's neck, making the younger fight back a shiver.

- What are you sorry for, Sannie? You did nothing wrong. - Wooyoung's hands are gently h holding San's wrists, both thumbs brushing delicately the soft skin.

San widens his eyes.

The possibility for Wooyoung not to remember the previous night does, in fact, exist.

So what if it's the case? What if Wooyoung was so drunk he doesn't remember having sex with him? That would make it even worse, because now San is the only culprit and most likely a rapist.

San just hates himself.

He mentally curses himself in the worst ways possible while biting his lips to the point they almost bleed.

- Sannie, can you let go of me so I can face you? - Wooyoung asks, and is met with another plea not to walk away. - I won't leave you, Sannie, I just want to look at you. -

San warily lets go of Wooyoung, and to his surprise he really does turn towards him without even attempting to escape.

Wooyoung's hands immediately fly to San's face, cupping his jaw while his thumbs brush away all the wetness of the tears.