Shye

Chapter 17:Truth, Past and Comfort

TW:Mentions of rape/sexual assault/sexual abuse, mentions of depression and self harming
*Sunday 1st November*
*7:30AM*
(Shye's Pyjamas)

(Shye's POV)
I woke up to a throbbing headache and the sudden urge to vomit my guts out. I rushed to my bathroom and unloaded my guts into the toilet. I kept vomitting to the point that it felt like my throat burned everytime more came out. I heard the bathroom door open, but I was too busy emptying my stomach to turn around a look who it was or even greet them. I felt the strong hands wrap my hair up and a soothing hand rubbed my back as I vomitted. It was Sin. I could tell by the way he rubbed my back and his soothing words.
(Sin's Pyjamas)

I don't think that I have ever vomitted so much in my life. After what felt like an eternity, I was finally done and my stomach felt empty and so did I. I felt like a shell of myself. Sin helped me up and caught as I wobbled a bit. Last night was fuzzy and I felt dizzy. The last thing I remember is leaving Sin to go and get a snack and a drink anything past that is gone, so I didn't understand what was happening.
"You all done?" Sin asked me and I weakly nodded. I went a cleaned out my mouth because it didn't particulary taste good, but as I grabbed the toothpaste my wrist ached. I rolled up my sleeve a little and looked down and saw an ugly, purple bruise that had formed around my wrist. It was in the shape of a hand or some very fat fingers. What had happened last night. I rolled up my shirt a little and saw the same ugly, purple bruise on my stomach, hips in the shape of hands and love bites up my neck. I began to panic. What had happened to me? Why were there hand shaped bruises? Why couldn't I remember anything? I felt tears roll down my cheeks in fear and it made me nearly fall to me knees, if Sin hadn't of caught me. He held me as I sobbed and rocked me lke a baby.
"What happened to me?" I said in between cries and Sin just rocked and shushed me, letting me know it was bad.
"Come on, we'll lay you down, get you some painkillers for your head and then I'll answer any of your questions baby girl, ok?" he told me soothingly and I just nodded while crying. He walked me slowly back to my room and we laid me in my bed.
"Hey I'll be right back, I'm going to go get you some painkillers and some water alright," Sin soothed me while stroking my hair. I nodded best I could and then laid down, propping up one of my cushions a little bit. Sin came back with a glass of water and some painkillers for me. I took two with the water and then laid on Sin's chest. He was holding me so tightly. Like I was disappear if he let me go.
"S-Sin, I'm ready, w-what hap-ppened to me last night?" I asked shakily. Deep down I had an idea of what happened, but I just needed some conformation.
"Last night, I couldn't find you, I looked everywhere, I even went outside and I couldn't find you for 15 minutes. I went upstairs as a last resort and some girl told me that she had seen a passed out blonde girl being dragged to one of the bedrooms by some guy in a wolf costume, I was praying it wasn't you, I couldn't stand to think that you were hurt. I got to the last door and low and behold, you were in there. Unconscious, you had clearly been drugged and with some guy half naked on top of you, you still had all your underwear on luckily and I could tell that he hadn't done anything to you. I beat him half to death and then took you home. Mom and Jenna changed you because I didn't want you to feel anymore violated than you already were last night." When Sin finished, I was just laid there slowly processing what had been said. Not again, please not again and then I started hyperventalating.
"Shye are you alright." Sin said looking at me concerned.
"N-not again, n-not again, please not again, I was a good girl this time, please not again." I said spiralling and sobbing. I began spiralling into dark web and drowning into my own dark past.
(Sin's POV)
What the fuck? What the fuck does she mean again? I really wanted to ask her, but right now my girl just need me to be here for her because she was spiralling and I needed to stop her. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my chin on her head. I shushed her soothingly, rocked her, gave her soothing words and I didn't think it was working until her breath slowed to a normal pace.
"Shye," I spoke calmly. She nodded to show that she acknowledge me and I decided to try and ask her.
"Shye have you been touched before?" I didn't want to say raped because I really don't want to trigger her right now when I needed to hear her tell her story. She nodded, but wouldn't look at me.
"By your dad?" I asked. She shook her head.
"By someone at school?" I asked. She shook her head again. Before I could ask her again she spoke.
"One of my dad's friends and his son." she whispered, but I heard her. I sighed.
"Did they managed to-?" I began asking.
"Yes." she said simply. I sighed and held her tighter.
"You don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to-"
"I want to, but I don't wanna push my trauma onto you." she said.
"I'll be fine, tell me baby." I told her stroking her hair and she sighed.
"It was 4 years ago, I just turned 13, but I had started puberty around 10 so I already had quite large breasts and my hips had begun to widen. I wasn't very tall and my dad had a friend with a son around my age. They were always mean to me. They used to order me around like a slave, beat me and then they used to touch me. The first time was a night in November, I was laid in my bed just reading a book when they both pushed into my room. I don't even know how they got in because my dad was out. They grabbed me pinned me and took their turns having their way with me. I tried to scream out, but they held my mouth and muffled my screams. I began to sob and it made them laugh and they spat at me. I don't know how long it lasted, but I managed to count my ceiling lamp 240 times until I lost count. That night they took the one thing that I had that was my own and that I wanted to save. When they were done, they told me that things like this wouldn't happen to me if I was a good girl. They did it to me 3 more times until they didn't come around anymore. I told my dad and he beat the shit outta me and told me that I deserved it. I went into a deep depression for the next 3 years. I almost killed myself. I was tempted to so many times, but the thought of my mama kept me going. I felt tainted for those three years and I used to hurt myself. I begun to believe what they said and it was a really dark time in my life. When I found my passion for being a doctor it helped me get through my depression and I focused on studying, but I never got any actual help for it, never even made police report." she finished. My heart broke. My angel had been through so much and she still stayed pure. I hated the idea she thought she was tainted because of what others had done to her.
"You're not tainted and you're not dirty, you're a pure as anything. What they did to you makes them the tainted ones not you. I'm so sorry that happened to you." I said to her and she begun crying in my arms. I held her tight. I couldn't allow anyone to hurt her like again. I couldn't let it happen again.
"You probably don't want me now." she said and I tilted her face up to mine gently.
"Don't you ever fucking think that for a minute. I've never wanted to have anyone more in my life. I adore you Shye, well and truly, I love you so much, I know it might seem fast but I need to tell you. You're a beautiful girl and I'm so glad that you're by my side. I don't care what others did to you, that doesn't make you any less beautiful to you. In fact it makes you more beautiful because it shows me how strong you are." I told her and she began to cry again.
"Y-you love me?" she questioned and I smiled softly.
"Yes, I do, I love you Shye Rucchi, but you don't need to say it back,"
"I-I love you too, Sin Ferrari." she replied and I pecked her forehead.
"Shye, I think that you should get therapy." I told her and I felt her nod.
"I'll try find an office to register at later today." she replied.
"Don't rush it baby girl, take all the time you need." I told her. We spoke a little more and I told her all about my ex and how toxic she was to make her feel a little better about her talking to me all about her trauma. Even though me and Shye hadn't spoken about having sex or anything, I knew she felt awful about not being a virgin by a technicality, she didn't ask them to take her virginity. I wasn't bothered by her not being a virgin though. I wasn't a virgin either. I had my first time with my ex who I then found out was cheating on me with a another guy the next day and that it had being going on pretty much half of our entire relationship. It hurt. I gave her something sacred of mine and she just didn't give a shit and broke my heart. Shye eventually fell asleep in my arms and I didn't move and slept there with her. I knew that she just needed the support and comfort that I could give her.
*3 hours later*
(Shye's POV)
Sin had convinced me to come and eat something for breakfast, so I got into the shower to try and wash everything off from last night. I wasn't feeling very good about my body or my mental health right now and even though talking to Sin helped, I need some professional help. I was in the shower for about half and hour and when I came out, I still felt kinda dirty. Not on my skin. Under the surface.
(Shye's Outfit)

I put on some lounge clothes and even my glasses today. I didn't need glasses to see I have pretty good eyesight, but when I have a really bad migraine or when I look at a screen for too long, it helps to put my glasses on. I just put my hair up in a messy bun with hair clip and headed downstairs. When I got downstairs, Jenna hugged me tight. She began apologising, but I stopped her.
(Jenna's Outfit)

"It wasn't your fault Jen, promise." I reassured her, but I could tell she still blamed herself.
(Sin's Outfit)

"What do you want for breakfast Shye?" Sin asked me.
"I think I would like waffles please." I replied and Sin nodded and walked off to tell the cook.

I was going to spend most of the day looking for therapists in the area while I binge some K-Dramas (A/N:I am currently watching a really good one on Netflix called The Glory) and Japenese Dramas (A/N:One of my favourite Japanese Dramas is Alice in Borderland. My favourite character is Chishiya). I had breakfast and Sin's parents were so good to me. Alena made sure I was ok and even offered to take me to her therapist friend because she heard I was looking for one. They both told me that if I wanted to talk to them about anything that I could and that they were here for me. They told me that they see me as another daughter. I made my heart swell and I nearly began crying again. I was so grateful for all their support and I took Alena up on her offer. After breakfast, I went up stairs to wallow in my lack of self worth, but Sin and Jenna came with me. They brought up snacks and I curled up and watched movies with them. I guess that it was good that I wasn't alone right now because I wasn't in the best mental state right now.
"Jake and Leon are asking if they can come over. Are you feeling alright enough to see them?" Sin asked and I thought about it and nodded.
"Yeah its fine. It would be nice to see them anyway." I replied and Sin smiled and hugged me. The rest of the day was spent with me mentally recovering and thanks to my friends, I got to a place that didn't have me wanting to hurt myself again. I was so grateful to have these people in my life because if I didn't have them, I think I would have taken my life.
This chapter was super heavy and I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable in anyway. The next chapter will be a character and aesthetics. See you next time my lovelies, Blessings and Peace.
xoxo