At our worsts ; Nanago [Nanami X Gojo]

CH6.GOJO

As I walked away from the café, thoughts of Nanami consumed my mind. There was something about him that intrigued me, something beyond our professional connection. The way he carried himself with confidence, his unwavering dedication to his students, and the subtle hints of a hidden softer side beneath his strict demeanor—it all fascinated me.

That evening, as I sat in my apartment, contemplating the events of the day, I couldn't shake off the desire to spend more time with Nanami. It felt like the right moment to take a step forward, to break through the boundaries of our professional relationship and explore the possibility of something more.

I mustered up the courage to reach out to Nanami, my fingers hovering over the keyboard as I typed out a message. I wanted to ask him out to dinner, to get to know him better outside of the confines of work. But as the words formed on the screen, doubt crept in. What if he misunderstood my intentions? What if he wasn't interested?

I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the send button. The anticipation and uncertainty swirled within me, creating a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Finally, I took a deep breath and pressed send, hoping for the best.

Minutes felt like hours as I anxiously waited for Nanami's response. My mind raced with various scenarios, each one more nerve-wracking than the last. Finally, a notification chimed, signaling the arrival of a message from him.

I eagerly opened the message, only to see Nanami's shocked expression staring back at me through the screen. It was clear that my invitation had caught him off guard. I quickly realized that I might have misread the situation, assuming there was more between us than there actually was.

In an attempt to rectify the misunderstanding, I quickly backtracked, stumbling over my words in a mix of embarrassment and confusion. "I...I mean, as friends. Or even as just a guardian and a teacher?" I clarified, hoping to salvage the situation.

Nanami's response, however, was not what I had anticipated. His rejection came swiftly, his words carrying a hint of harshness that stung. It was clear that he wanted to maintain the boundaries we had established, to keep our relationship strictly professional.

As I read Nanami's response, a sharp pang of pain shot through my chest. The rejection hit harder than I had anticipated, and the words stung with a mixture of disappointment and sadness. "No, I don't have any reasons to spend time with you for no particular reason." Ouch. His words were straightforward, leaving no room for interpretation.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of defeat. The hope I had held onto, the possibility of something more, now seemed distant and unattainable. It was a reminder that sometimes the heart yearns for things that aren't meant to be. But I couldn't let the pain consume me completely. I had to find a way to salvage the situation, to rectify the misstep I had taken.

In a desperate attempt to regain some ground, I quickly typed out another message, my fingers fumbling over the keyboard. "Ah, it is my birthday in 3 days, that's why..." I added, hoping to appeal to Nanami's sense of compassion. It was a feeble attempt to make him reconsider, to give me another chance, even if it was just for a brief moment.

As I hit the send button, my heart raced with anticipation. Would he soften his stance? Would he reconsider his initial rejection? The seconds ticked by slowly, each one stretching into eternity as I waited for his response.

And then, finally, his message appeared on the screen. Nanami's words were unexpected, a glimmer of hope amidst the previous rejection. He expressed a hint of remorse, acknowledging the strictness he had shown in the past. It seemed like he might be willing to reconsider, to give me another chance, even if it was just to alleviate the guilt he felt.

A mix of relief and gratitude washed over me. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Perhaps there was a flicker of possibility, a chance for a different dynamic to emerge between us. It was a ray of hope in the midst of uncertainty.

I replied to Nanami, expressing my appreciation for his reconsideration. I assured him that I understood the boundaries and that I valued our professional relationship above all else. But I couldn't deny the flicker of excitement that ignited within me. Perhaps there was a glimmer of a connection, a chance for something more to blossom.

And then, as I reread our conversation, I noticed a brief moment of vulnerability that Nanami had accidentally revealed. He had sent a cute emoticon, two ferrets forming a heart while sleeping next to each other, but quickly deleted it. It was a subtle slip, a momentary lapse in his guarded demeanor.

My heart skipped a beat as I realized the significance of that fleeting emoticon. It was a glimpse into a side of Nanami he rarely showed, a glimmer of his true feelings. It made my heart race with a mix of excitement and curiosity. Could it be that he was more open to the idea of us getting closer?

I couldn't help but giggle to myself, feeling a renewed sense of hope. The image of those adorable ferrets forming a heart stayed in my mind, bringing a smile to my face. It was a small but powerful gesture, a hidden message that spoke volumes.

"Fuck, he is driving me crazy," I whispered to myself, running a hand through my hair nervously biting my bottom lip. The more I got to know Nanami, the more I realized how intriguing and captivating he was. The way he maintained his composure and yet revealed glimpses of vulnerability made him all the more irresistible.
I wanted him all for me and it was certainly getting unhealthy.