Everything has been Depleted

Day Four

From: Ms. Eri Kisaki

You're supposedly here 15 minutes ago, where are you?

To: Ms. Eri Kisaki

I am not coming.

I immediately Get my Shoulder bag and went downstairs after I clicked the sent button. I was about to go when My mom called me. Nagmamadali na ako dahil mal-late ako sa session. I texted Elpis that I won't come, Because I want her to freak out. Mas mauuna pa nga yatang mabaliw si Elpis kaysa saakin dahil sa pinag-gagawa ko sa kanya.

"Ria, You have session with Doctora Elpis at nine AM, you're already late" Said Mommy.

My Mom was aware of my entire schedules with Elpis. After all, she was the one who forced me to go to counseling.

My phone vibrates. I saw a message from Elpis.

From: Ms. Eri Kisaki

Your mom just told me 3 mins
Ago that you're about to go.

Hays. Sinabihan na pala s'ya ni mommy na paalis na ko. Okay, Mission failed. Hindi na ako nag reply at isinilid ang phone sa bag ko.

"I know, Mom. I'm Going" I said. Nilapitan ko si mommy at hinalikan s'ya sa pisngi "I have to go, see you later" Patakbo akong lumabas ng pintuan at kumuha ng taxi.

Hindi naman ganoon kalayo ang hospital. Elpis has her own office in that Hospital. Hindi hassle ang pagpunta doon, siguro mga 10-15 minutes ay nandoon na din ako.

Nang makababa ay patakbo akong pumasok sa isang elevator na malapit nang magsara. I pushed the button papuntang Second floor where Elpis Office were located.

"O to the M to the G!" Bungad ko sa kakabukas ko lang na pinto. Hapong-hapo akong pumasok. Nakita ko si Elpis na nakapangalumbaba sa table n'ya. Nang makita n'ya ako ay tumingin s'ya sa wrist watch n'ya bago itinuon ang paningin sa wall clock sa left side n'ya.

"You are late, Ria. May I know why?" She asked as she stood up and went to water dispenser beside the door.

Kumuha s'ya ng isang paper cup sa ibabaw ng dispenser. she has her own water dispenser and small refrigerator. Ang laman ng refrigerator ay snacks for her clients. Elpis was the most thoughtful person I've ever met.

Pinuno n'ya ang paper cup ng malamig na tubig at Iniabot n'ya iyon saakin.

"Here. It will help you to breath properly. Mukhang nagmadali kang Pumunta." Saad n'ya. I drank the water and sat on the sofa.

"Sorry, I'm late. Late din kasi akong nagising, nag enjoy kasi akong manood ng detective conan kagabi" I said and lean my back against the sofa.

"No, worries. that's fine." Umupo s'ya sa harapan ko. this time walang table sa pagitan namin, isang maliit na table lang ang Nasa harapan namin. Ngayon ko lang napansin ang Starbucks Coffee na nakapatong sa Lamesa.

Oh, so. Tinupad n'ya ang Ipinangako n'yang kape. Hinayaan n'ya akong magpahinga sandali.

Ini-isod niya ang kape sa harap ko. Napangiti ako.

"Here. White Chocolate mocha. You once mentioned that this is the only coffee you could drink from Starbucks" She is an excellent observer. she really did pay attention to what her client had said. "Are you comfortable with your seat?"

Tumango ako bilang sagot at kinuha ang kape mula sa lamesa. Humigop ako, medyo malamig na. siguro'y kanina n'ya pa ito pinabili.

"How about the aircon? Do want me to adjust the temperature?" She asked. she was like this whenever we are having a session. Sini-sigurado n'yang comportable ang client bago s'ya mag umpisang magtanong.

"No. tama lang naman ang lamig ng paligid, And thank you for the coffee" I said. She smiled. Kinuha n'ya ang nakaclip na ballpen sa paper na nakapatong sa lamesa. She started to write things down.

"Shall we start?" Tumango ako bilang sagot.

"Okay.." She cleared her throat "Give me your opinion about Death penalty?"

Death penalty?

Napatitig ako sa kan'ya. waiting for her to elaborate her question.

"Do you think Death penalty should be implemented?" She asked. Siguro'y napansin n'ya ang pagkalito ko sa tanong n'ya.

I cleared my throat.

"Uhm.. Well, First and foremost, for me before implementing Death penalty they should pay attention first to the country's Justice system" Nag-isip akong mabuti.

"It is difficult to point a finger at someone who is completely innocent. Our country discriminates against the wealthy and the poor. Kapag wala ka namang pera hindi ka makakakuha ng magaling na abogado. isn't terrible to see innocent people lose their life dahil lang napagbintangan?" I said. she locked her gaze at me.

Hindi ko alam kung anong punto n'ya. wala akong makitanng emosyon sa mga mata n'ya.

"Do you believe the government should be cautious if the death penalty is considered?" She asked once more..

Lumunok ako.

"Y-yes." Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kan'ya.

"How'd you say so?"

"Because we are talking about someone's life. Death is not a joke. We cannot bring the dead back to life"

"Then, why did you do it?" I defensively looked at her. Alam ko kung anong Ibig n'yang sabihin doon. Hindi ako magpapatinag.

"What do you mean 'Why did I do it' ? I did not kill anyone" I said.

"You did. " Said Elpis "Almost" she continued.

"What do you mean?" Pagmamaang-maangan ko.

She looked at my wrist and stared at it. Mabilis kong inilayo ang pulsuhan ko sa titig n'ya. I never dreamt to talk about why did I try to kill myself

Hindi ako makapag-salita. I was at lost for words. Ayokong mag-salita. Ayokong magsabi.

Sandaling namayani ang tahimik sa paligid. Maya-maya'y Hindi na s'ya nakatiis at s'ya na din ang bumasag ng katahimikan.

"You said. Death is not a joke and We cannot bring the dead back to life" She said. "You also said, it is terrible to see Innocent people lose their life"

She caught me off guard. what kind of trick was that?

"What are you trying to insinuate?" Hindi ako nakatiis at sumagot na ako. I feel so attacked at this point.

"Let me tell you this" She said as she looked directly in my eyes "Listen carefully"

Umayos siya ng upo at bahagyang hinarap sa direksyon ko ang katawan n'ya.

"What if you are that unwitting victim? And pretend that the fingers pointed at you were the critiques and difficulties. Do you think it's reasonable? Will you feel awful about putting in death?"

I did not say a word. I suddenly Got scared