Dsmp Incorrect Quotes

Untitled Part 4

phil : Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.
tubbo : I like how this is a "fun" fact.
techno : It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

*at a zoo*
tubbo: What are they in for?
wilbur : tubbo, this isn't prison.
tubbo: So they can leave?
wilbur: No, but-
tubbo, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

ranboo : So I was just having a conversation with wilbur about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!
wilbur: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.
ranboo : Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????
wilbur: Exhaust?
ranboo : Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.
wilbur: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole...
ranboo : Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.
wilbur: We're onto something here!
ranboo : Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.
wilbur: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.
ranboo : His lightsaber does though.
*wilbur thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*
ranboo : What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.
wilbur: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.
ranboo : Fair point.

ranboo : tommy got into a fight.
phil : That's bad.
phil :
phil : Did they win?

tubbo , pointing to ranboo and wilbur: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*
tommy : Okay!
*five minutes later*
tubbo : *returns and sees ranboo and wilbur unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!
tommy : There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

wilbur: What happened?!
ranboo : Do you want the long version or the short version?
wilbur:  Uh... short??
ranboo : Shit's fucked.
wilbur: Okay, long.
ranboo : Shit's very fucked.

ranboo : *Talking to phil * Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.
tubbo : But this is my abode.
ranboo : ...
ranboo : Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest

dream: You bought a taco?
punz: Yes.
dream: From the same truck that hit purpled ?!
punz, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.

punz: I think dream is in trouble.
purpled : Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I'm honest.

enderwalk: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18?
ranboo : enderwalk, stop trying to get drugs.
enderwalk: Don't suppress my interests.

ranboo : I've never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

tommy : Help, someone at prom has been killed!
ranboo: Calm down, we don't need you to Panic! At the Disco.

tubbo: Help! I'm drowning!
ranboo : Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!
tubbo: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

tubbo : What's worse than a heartbreak?
ranboo: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

tommy: It's impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.
ranboo: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here's one more to further disprove your theory.
tubbo : Fuck you. 

tommy: I am a responsible adult!
tubbo: *raises brow*
tommy: I am an adult.