Fifty Shades Different

Chapter Four

One thing to know about me, I am driven awake night after terrorizing night by my nightmares, only to find that there is absolutely no relief in waking. my nightmares and my pain in awaking have nothing to do with each other, at least not anymore; but are both equally agonizing. I am roused round three in the morning with Aunt Elena's hands on my shoulders, she seems quite worried about me, seeing as I had to assure and reassure her that I was absolutely fine. I didn't mean a word, but she finally left all the same, being sure to leave my bedroom door slightly ajar.

I pick my phone up when it buzzes on my nightstand, it's a text from Christian about our plans for tomorrow, it reads;

I will be picking you up at ten, be ready. Until tomorrow Anastasia.

I type him back a quick response, seeing as I know I won't be able to sleep it can't hurt.

Have you recently sought out help for your control freak tendencies? I look forward to seeing you at ten in the morning.

I smile when he responds less than thirty seconds later;

Anastasia, as you very well know, I've been in therapy for years for my 'control freak,' and other tendencies. Why are you still awake? If I may ask.

I frown at the formal tone of his last sentence, against my better judgement I do hope Christian and I can work this out and become as good of friends as we used to be, I still miss him much more than I would like to admit.

I was never informed of what your 'other tendencies,' are, and of course you may ask. I had a bad dream. My finger hovers over the send button for a moment, as I entertain the thought of not answering at all. I have to learn to trust him, if anyone, if this is going to work, I have to try; I press send.

I was surprised when he called rather than simply texting me back. Again, I entertain the thought of not answering at all, I don't want to put up with anyone's probing right now, but of course I answer anyway.

"Hi," I mumble quietly, he doesn't say anything at, and when he finally does I'm about to hang up convinced he didn't mean to call at all.

"Hi," he says, I can almost hear the burning curiosity behind his words, but he doesn't ask. Instead he murmurs, "Are you alright?"

Then I remember, Christian has night terrors of his own, which is probably why he is up this late. Christian knows how terrible they can be, how tormenting, of course he isn't going to ask me about mine.

"I'm fine," I insist weakly, embarrassed by how little truth there is behind my words, I can hear it, I know he can.

"You're lying," He says simply, I roll my eyes fully aware that he can't see me.

"I'm used to it Christian, I will be fine. Can we please just drop it?" My voice sounds much more cold and snappy than I intend for it to be, I don't want to push Christian away, especially now that I see he's trying. "I'm sorry Christian, that came out all wrong. I just, I can't talk about it. Okay?"

"Elena says you start therapy on Wednesday. Will you talk to your therapist?" I'm surprised by the bitter feeling I get towards his statement, he and Aunt Elena are much closer than I realized, close enough for to confide quite a bit of information about me to him. I find myself frightened by what all she's possibly told him about me.

"I'm not sure I have a choice in the matter," I mutter petulantly, I don't like talking to doctor's. Ray and I tried me in therapy when I first moved back in with him, it didn't help so I just stopped going. I started going when I was thirteen and stopped when I was almost sixteen, if there was a way to make the nightmares and memories go away, surely they would have found one.

"Well, she said you'll be seeing John Flynn, he's a good doctor Anastasia." I'm curious as to how Christian knows that Mr. Flynn is a good doctor, then something occurs to me.

"Is Dr. Flynn your therapist Christian?" I ask skeptically, trying my best not to sound accusatory. I take Christian's silence as a conformation that we have the same therapist; I groan. "Christian, did you recommend this doctor to Elena?"

"No, she just happens to know that Flynn is the only doctor that has actually worked out for me, other than that I swear to you she sought him out on her own." Christian defends quickly, his voice calm, he doesn't sound annoyed at all; the way I would expect him to be.

"Why hasn't any other therapist 'worked out' for you?" I ask tentatively, I know when he was younger he changed therapists quite often, though he never told me why.

" Let's just go with I have never seen eye to eye with any of them." He says mysteriously, I'm tempted to ask him why just to see if he'll tell me, but decide against it. If he isn't going to push me, I will try my best not to push him.

"Okay," I mumble, also not wanting to overstep any unmarked boundaries. I stare up at the ceiling, waiting for him to speak again, and when he does I wish he hadn't.

"Why did you move back in with Ray? Rather than staying with your Mother." His voice is casual, though there is nothing casual about the question itself.

"Let's just go with, it's a long story that I don't want to get into right now." I say, it's really none of anyone's business why I preferred to live with Ray over my Mom. Christian was always a very private person, he never confided in anyone, so i don't really expect him to confide in me; but I also don't want to confide in him.

"I wish you would tell me something." He says quite sullenly, I can't help but laugh at his tone.

"Back at you Grey, I will see you in the morning. Goodnight Christian." I say before he can ask another evading question.

"Goodnight Anastasia,"

A/N: I promise chapter five will be great. Something will COME OUT. Five votes for chapter five? Three comments? Okay? Okay.

See ya guys!!

Chey xx