Fifty Shades Different

Chapter Eight

A/n: okay guys I'm making a couple few changes, most because I think it will make the story better and one just to make my life easier. I'm working on my list of changes I can't really tell you them if I don't know all of them myself. But I can tell you the change that's solely to make my life easier, I recasted Ana as Nina Dobrev, I plan on making book trailers and things and I'm finding that this is honestly the best way to go about doing all of this. Thanks for your time! Vote, Comment, and Fan.

Chey xx

     Have you ever woken due to strongly feeling someone watching you? Well that's how I woke this morning in Christian's bed,  in my sub conscience I felt the strongest feeling of someone's eyes on me, I stir immediately opening my eyes, I see Christian sitting upright beside me, he's not looking at me, I suppose I've lost my mind. I struggle into a sitting position as well, he looks down at me, I look away embarrassed suddenly very aware of last night's events.

     "You have a text message from Kaleb Salem," He says, his voice grudging, I stare at him for a second, not sure what to say.

     Kaleb Salem is my boyfriend. Technically. The plan was after I got on the plane was to never speak to him again, to me it was one of the many things I would have to do to make it, it would be better for him, and better for me. It's selfish, it will probably go down as one of the most selfish things I have ever done, but I can't stay in that situation, to me it's a part of getting better, it's a part of cutting all the ties I have.

     "And?" I ask simply, deciding it doesn't matter what Christian thinks, this is my problem, not his, my soon-to-be Ex-Boyfriend; not his.

     "Well," He muttered, picking my phone up from the bedside table, "Lover Boy said; On the third day and not a word, I assume you're having fun with Kate, or you're just busy. I miss you, the distance is starting to make me realize how much I really do care for you."

Christian was laughing, at the way I worded it, his laughing felt more like cruelty, "This boy dated you from the time you were fifteen, so he was the one there during the accident, and the most he can say is 'how much I really do care for you.' Care for you. Honestly?"

     "Well, at least, he was there," I snap irritably, snatching my phone from his hands, "Where were you, Christian?" My voice cuts a lot stronger than I'd hoped for. Christian stares at me bewildered through my glare, he shifts seeming uncomfortable by my throwing things up to him.

     "You know where I was Ana, I was still Elena's submissive, I wasn't allowed to see you." He says apologetically, I can see the guilt in his eyes, and I instantly feel horrible.

      "I'm sorry," I mutter, I look at my hands and then back up to him, "I'm going to have to hurt him, Christian,  and I feel horrible, but I just can't, I can't have anything to remember."

     "Is this something you've been planning since Elena offered her shitty refugee?" He asks genuinely curious, I shrug and nod, he doesn't say anything he's waiting for me to elaborate.

     "It sounds horrible, but, I hate him, Christian, I can remember things that I shouldn't under any circumstances be able to remember, I remember his voice; I remember every word he said to me while I was on life support. The day I woke up he sat by my side crying, and somewhere inside me I honestly believe I was crying too, and somewhere else inside me I knew that my family was gone, but I didn't want to come to face it. He sat with me, as Gran was making the decision as to whether or not to cut the cord, and he said 'if you stay, I will do whatever you want. I'll quit the band, go with you to whatever College you want to go too, I talked to Elena she said that coming back into your old life would be too painful for you to bear, that it would probably be easier for you to erase us. And, Ana, that you suck, but I would do it for you, I could lose you like that if it means that I don't lose you today; I will let you go, if you just stay, if you just come back and bother the hell out of me just one last time.' And that is when I struggled to take the first breath on my own for the time in 3 days, and I opened my eyes, given they closed right back because my body was still exhausted. And I personally blame him, I've always had to have someone to blame, I could have died peacefully and went on to whatever comes after this life, but he made me stay."