Fifty Shades Different

Chapter Fifteen

Hey guys, I've worked ten hours today so give me a break on the grammar this time, I'll go back in and edit it later when I actually feel like I'm not dead, haha. But I want to start writing down the songs that I listen to while I'm writing that like give me the inspiration for the different chapters so here it goes, I'll probably only put like three songs per chapter but I listen to a lot more.

Soundtrack 15

All of me, The Fray

Check Yes Juliet, We the Kings

Wouldn't Change a Thing, Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato 

*********************************************************

"Fucking, Christ," Christian and I both jump up quickly, Christian glares at Elena, and she glares right back at him. "Are you capable of knocking?" He seethes

"Well, Christian I've never had to knock before, not that you could hear it through that fucking door anyway," She stalks over to where she's closer to us, still glaring at Christian. Christian says nothing but doesn't break his glare. I'm uncomfortable, for a moment I entertain the thought of attempting to excuse myself, but I'm sure I know how that would end. Elena turns her glare to me, "I cannot believe you Anastasia, I didn't think you were that type of girl."

My mouth is unwilling to open, I can't speak, I have no defense for myself regardless, I just stare at her wide eyed. Christian of course is quick to come to my defense, but just as he begins to speak, Elena turns on her heel and leaves his office. And we're alone again, I look over at Christian. It's only been less than a month I didn't think we would be here, I would've thought we would be in a similar situation six months down the road. But not now.

"Ana," He whispers, he strides over to me, so confident, and puts a gentle hand on my cheek, "Don't over think this, things happen for a reason. You can't honestly tell me you think that was a mistake."

Well Mr. Grey, when did you achieve the power of telepathy?

I don't say a word, I don't pull away either. He's right, this is right, and I know it is, but am I ready for this? Am I ready for him? And all the baggage that comes along with being with him? I tell myself that's not the questions for right now, all my questions can wait, even though I know they shouldn't it would be easier now than later. But regardless, I lean up on my tiptoes, and kiss his cheek.

"We're okay." I whisper simply, to give him that peace of mind, now I just have to make myself believe the same thing. I look over at the clock, everyone left over an hour ago, but I don't know how much he has left to do. "Can we go home?"

"Of course," He says quickly, a worried look in his eyes, he takes his jacket off the back of his chair and takes my hand leading me with him out of his office to the elevator. He clicks at the button, he keeps glancing at me, he's nervous, maybe afraid. "Are you okay?"

"What?" I look over to him, the elevator opens bidding to step inside, he won't look at me, he studies his hands. Suddenly he's that boy that he was before I moved, almost twelve years ago, before me and my no boundaries or consideration for other people's personal space broke through. He's terrified. Of what? Losing me, maybe, but I don't understand why, I've been back in his life for all of three weeks. "I told you we're fine."

"Yeah, you said we're fine. You never anything about you." He looks at me finally, he almost looked pained, he stares at me his eyes dark. He's as afraid as I am. He doesn't time to respond and just keeps talking, "Look, Ana, I'm sorry that that happened. And I know you, you overthink everything you do now, and sometimes that's not bad. But listen to me, what happened in there, it felt so right, being with you like that felt right. I mean God dammit, Ana, I walked back into my life 3 short weeks ago, and you fucked up everything."

That hurt. I feel prick my eyes.

"It has been the most hectic, insane, unorganized, most difficult weeks of my life. You're so fucking stubborn, but I would not trade the last three weeks that I've spent with you for anything in this world, I find you quite trying, of patience and everything else, but that's okay. It's refreshing." He says the words quickly to get them out before I start crying, and I'm still not sure whether he's complimenting me or insulting me. "I can't lose you. Not now. Please tell me that you're okay."

I want to say that I'm okay, he's asking me not to over think this and that's the least that I can do for him, but I'm afraid. After Elena made him stop talking to me, he disappeared, and there was so much going on with me, I needed him so much, but I couldn't get a hold of him. And then everything important started disappearing to, I didn't care about anything, when he left he took every bit of sound mind I had with him. I'm not melodramatic.

I do not under any circumstance need a man to survive, but he was the only friend I had, he was therapist, my best friend, and only friend, all in this copper-haired grey-eyed package. The absence he left was real, because I had no one, Ray didn't know what was happening, Carla didn't care. I was alone. But if I don't truly try in this I'll never know what potential we have. I look up at him pushing everything to the back of my mind, making the commitment to make this work if it kills me, I smile a little bit.

"Why do I have this burning feeling that you're about to fuck up my entire life?" I lean up on my tip toes and kiss him gently before he can even think to pull away. He kisses me back gently, not anything like before, it's slower, which makes it a thousand times more intimate. The elevator pings bringing us apart, Christian smiles shyly at me before taking my hand and leading me out of the elevator.

On the way to Escala, he doesn't let go of my hand, in some ways Christian's like a child, he needs certain things to cling to for security. He needs to know that everything is okay, and that's okay, I'm the same way. I just wish he could see that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine. I don't care what Elena saw, what Elena said, it doesn't change the way I feel about him, Elena's thoughts and feelings are irrelevant to me. I just wish I knew how relevant they are to him, I mean she's a huge part of his life, they were so close. I know I shouldn't think about it, because it only upsets me, but I can't help it. I mean sure, I would have never expected for him to not have a past, but it drives me crazy, especially her part in it. I bet if I had a 'past,' it would drive him up a fucking wall, I smile at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?" He murmurs, I look over and can't help myself, I laugh. He looks at me amused, he leans in towards me like he's going to whisper in my ear, but instead he starts kissing my neck. I breathe in sharply and he jerks away from me instantly, afraid of my reaction I assume, he looks down at me looking a bit worried. "I'm sorry." He whispers.

"Don't be," I whisper, he starts back where he left off, another unintentional moan makes its way from my mouth. Christian pulls away from the crook of my neck and smiles down at me.

"Maybe this isn't the best place for this." He says curtly looking up to the front seat where Taylor is looking quite uncomfortable, I look at him and smile a little bit, and nod. "You're biting your lip," he points out.

"And?" I ask smiling smugly at him, as the car rolls to a stop in garage of Escala, he looks down at me amusement playing in his beautiful grey eyes.

"I'd like to bite that lip," He says simply taking me completely by surprise.