Warning- this may be triggering to some people, includes mild nondescriptive self harming
I fell asleep crying, my sleeves were soaked with tears. I heard a vibrating noise, my phone was ringing. I got up and answered it, Dan was calling.
"Hey Danny! Sorry I left last night, I couldn't sleep and I kinda wanted to come home for the night," my voice was still shaky, I was holding back tears.
"It'd okay, I understand. Do you want to come round in a bit? Or shall I come round yours and Phil can stay at home," I knew what he was suggesting, but we always leave Phil out, its not fair on him to always have to be alone.
"Um...well, I'll c-come round yours, sound g-good?" I was trembling more and my tears couldn't be held back anymore.
"Emily? Why are you crying? Do you need me to come over? Emily? Please tell me what's wrong!" He was panicking and I didn't know what to do.
"I can't," and I hung up. I walked to the bathroom slowly, closing and locking the door behind me. I looked through the cabinet and found the razor I use to shave my legs. Suddenly my phone was ringing again. Of course it was Dan.
"WHAT?!?" I screamed, crying because I was so angry and flustered.
"Emily please tell me what's wrong, please," he begged and begged.
"No, I can't tell you, you will be upset about what's happened and you'll be upset about what's going to happen as soon as I hang up," I could hear him whimpering in confusion, it was quite clear he was also in tears.
"What do y-" he was cut off due to the fact I hung up on him. He would be driving over now. I just sat there for about ten minutes, thinking.
There was a sudden bang on the door, I didnt need to ask who it was.
"Go away Dan, you don't want me! You love Phil, the way you look at him, the way you joke around with him, its so different to the way you act around me, why don't you just go and marry Phil?!" I said this aggressively, then I realised what I said.
"Because I love you, because you're the one I want to be with," it broke my heart to hear him say this before what I was about to do.
"Well, I can't let you in, you'll never love me again, you'll judge me and get mad at me, then you'll break up with me and I'll be left alone to die," I could hear him unlocking the door, I forgot he had a spare key. My sobs were loud and that gave away my location. He walked up to the door and knocked.
"GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" As soon as I had finished talking I quickly ran the blade across my wrist countless times. The pain made me cry but I knew I deserved every single cut. He was fiddling with the lock and I was trying so hard to keep him out by leaning against the door, but he managed to unlock the door and he pushed the door open causing me to slide across the tiles.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" He shouted, grabbing the razor from my hand. I shoved him backwards out of the room and slammed the door, locking it again. I was looking for another razor, my wrist still bleeding.
"Please don't do this, I love you, and I need to ask you something, its really important, please come to the door, please let me in, I'm begging you," I sighed and slowly opened the door. I expected him to just stand there but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest and I just cried because I was feeling like a failure. He took my not cut wrist and sat me down on the toilet, he grabbed some bandages out of the cabinet and wrapped my wrist with them.
"Please don't do this again," I looked into his beautiful brown eyes.
"I promise," I hugged him as he sigehd in relief. We went to the living room and sat down. He made me lunch and snuggled me for a while.
Everything was l, but then he had to go.
"Sweetie I have to go and work on a few things, I wish I didn't but I do. You won't cut again will you?"
"Not now, I have too much to live for. I have you," he smiled lovingly and kissed my cheek. As he was about to walk out the door he quickly turned around and looked at me.
"Oh, I have one more question to ask," he looked at me almost as if he was nervous, but nervous about what?
"What is it?" I looked at him, confused slightly.
"Well..." he rubbed his neck and slowly bent down, kneeling in front of me. He pulled something from his pocket and looked up at me, "will you marry me?" I gasped, covering my face with my hands. I couldn't believe it, this was happening. I paused, thinking to myself, what should I say? I slowly pulled my hands down from face and smiled.
"Yes, I will marry you!" He got up and kissed my lips, his arms on my hips, his tongue slightly in my mouth. He picked me up and swung me round. I had never seen him this happy and excited.
I was going to be married to the love of my life, danisnotonfire.
A/N
So it looks like I've finished...
I'm planning on writing a second book, I have started on it yet and I still have a lot if other stuff to work on, but stay tuned for that. I hope you enjoyed this, it was so fun writing it!
Thanks you guys, it means a lot that you read my book! <3
