The Moon to my night

26

∞Hated the loved∞

Aradhaya Singh Rajvansh

"I didn't cheat on you." His words hit me like a sledgehammer, shattering the narrative I had clung to for years. I had spent so much time hurting, believing he had betrayed and replaced me.

"But I asked you." My voice quivered, and tears streamed down my face. "I was angry with you, and I didn't say anything about it. But I had no idea you left me because of that. I thought you left because you had to go to New York for your studies." My brain seemed to reject his words. He stepped closer and cupped my face with trembling hands.

"But you hurt me. You wanted to hurt me when you thought I was leaving." My words were stern and blank, making his eyes widen in shock.

"No, I didn't mean to. I was—" He struggled to find the right words, but I cut him off.

"No, you did. You wanted me to feel your pain. Tell me, Rudransh, if it was true, if I was actually hiding my future plans from you, would your actions be justified? Would it be justified to ignore me, to abandon me despite my countless attempts to reach out to you?" Realization dawned on him, and his hands dropped from my face. His confusion was palpable, and I wondered if I could ever trust this man again.

"I apologise for believing you cheated on me, but it wasn't just about trust. It was what I saw, what you allowed me to believe. Didn't I ask you to tell me the truth? Because no part of me wanted to believe you could do such a thing to me. But you let me believe it. All these years, I thought the man I loved so dearly had cheated on me, had abandoned me. Now I find out that the man I loved didn't trust me enough to confront me. You just let me go. Just like that." My words were harsh and cutting, reflecting the pain I felt. He stood there, holding my hands, his head hanging low, unable to meet my eyes as if he couldn't bear to face the truth.

"Dhaya, I was stupid. I was an idiot. I don't know how to put it into words, but yes, I admit that when I was hurting, everything in me wanted to hurt you too—through my words and my actions. I just couldn't bear living without you, Dhaya." His words hurt me even more because they showed he never really understood me.

"My family loves me the most, and you know how I know that? Because when I needed to be away, when I actually needed to go away from them, they let me go. They chose my happiness over theirs. Love is not about the fear of losing the other person, Rudransh. There is always a part of you with them, and I carried a part of you forever. If I had gone, I would have had that part as a happy part of me—a part that would have been my corner of peace and happiness. But for the last seven years, the man I wanted to be the most special part of my life became the most painful part of it. I cherished the time I spent with you, but in the last seven years, I just resented them. I wished for it to never happen. Why didn't you just come and talk to me? Why didn't you ask me, as you normally did about everything in your life? Why?" I sobbed, and he shook his head at my words.

The next moment, he was kneeling before me, my hands still in his, pressed against his eyes. I could feel my hands getting drenched in his tears, and it hurt everything inside me.

"I deeply regret not explaining everything to you that day, Dhaya. I apologize for not clarifying the misunderstanding earlier. What you saw was not what it seemed to be. I regret not listening to you, but my frustration with my own arrogant thoughts got the best of me. I am sorry, Dhaya. I am really sorry." He begged once more, his voice breaking with each word. My legs could barely maintain balance, feeling as if the weight of the whole world had fallen on me. I could barely contain my emotions anymore.