Keep the memories Alive

Chapter 4

"I felt the same. He is so young. He still has a future Infront of him. How can he leave us?" he said, began to cry as well

"Fate is cruel, isn't it?" uncle Chen cried harder than before

For a moment, I wished I am stronger than I am now. The Lee family had just lost their precious son and all I can do was crying harder than everyone else. I am vulnerable. Ethan must wish me to be strong for his family but little did he knew I am only strong when I am with him. He had an uncanny ability to wring every emotion out of me. No one had any idea how his death had completely devastated my life.

I opened his room. Everything smelled like him. I lay down on his bed and start sobbing again. I don't know what to do anymore.

I Just start talking. I wasn't sure if he was with or maybe somewhere watching me. I want him to know how I felt

Ethan fucking Josh Lee, you lied to me. You promised to see the world with me and now you leave the world. I don't know how will I ever survive without you as much as I want to be strong for aunty and uncle, I can't even hide under all the layers of grief like Nathan. As usual, shame on me. I already miss you so much. I have been waiting for you to comeback but now you are leaving forever. This suck for real. I wanted to fly through the sky and find you for real. I lost you forever, isn't it?

I am back to my house after the funeral. I swallowed my retort. Forced myself to hold my tears. Bomin slowly walked me to my room and left me alone which I am really thankful for.

I started to cry till I fell asleep.

I don't think I will be able to move on from him. How can I even accept this?

I walked out of the room, told Bomin that I will be leaving for fresh air but I was pathetic enough to jump off a building. For a moment I felt like he will be saving me. Maybe I am going to him. As I was falling the air was so cold. I closed my eyes. Maybe this is the only way we will be together again. It was hard to live once you lost your love ones. Living without answers, however seemed like a bigger trial.