Toaster Strudels

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by chilis_angels

by chilis_angels

Location: Garden Heights, USA server

Date: June 2nd, 2023

On June 1st, Pillsberry Bakeries announced that they would be reintroducing and revamping the limited edition "Razzle Dazzle" toaster strudels for pride month, as they do every year. Moviestars love toaster strudels, in fact, they love it so much that over a hundred moviestars waited outside the Garden Heights Krogers - the biggest store in all of MSP, that has a whole entire section in the store dedicated to toaster strudels - to get their glitchy little hands on the rainbow, glitter coated box. When the store opened its doors at 8:30am, a mob of excited moviestars bum rushed their way inside the store and ended up trampling a random employee and Blorangetiger. After the first hour of the store opening, there was only two Razzle Dazzle boxes.

*a bloody eyed Blorange runs and grabs the last box of the Razzle Dazzle toaster strudels*
Josh: WOOOOOO! I got it!
*he excitedly runs to the nearest open cashier stand*
Angela: Umm...Josh, your eye...
Josh: I know... but I really need this *hands the box over the toaster strudel box*
Angela: What you need is a goddamn hospital.
Josh: I know, i'm going later
Angela: Uh, no, you need to go NOW.
Josh: I'm gonna drive there when you're done cashing.
Angela: MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAN'T DRIVE WITH ONE EYE!
Josh: And why not?
Angela: Because- y'know what? I'm calling an ambulance.

Charlie: Oh wow, they took all the bloody strudels! Well, I guess this is mine now...*reaches for the last razzle dazzle box*
*A hand stops her*
*She looks up and sees that the tattooed hand belonged to her former boss and controversial Canadian model and highscorer, Zayne "Zain" Star Lynn*
Zain: Actually, that's mine now, hunty.
Charlie: Oh fuck off Zayne, it's not even yours, it's the store's.
Zain: Well, it's GOING to be mine because we always get the last of everything, especially something as important as razzle dazzles.
Charlie: You can have the last of my nerve you're getting on.
Zain: Oh silly Charlotte.
Charlie: It's not 2012 anymore where people kissed your ass and licked your Louie Vuitton pumps.
Zain: Ugh, you act like I wanna be king.
Charlie: Well clearly you do because you're being a complete bellend about it.
Zain: Give me that box or I will TRULY be a "bellend"
Charlie: No.
Zain: *steps closer* O-
Roti: Hey, do you guys notice the line at the cashiers?
*there's long lines that nearly stretch to aisle 7*
Charlie: Bloody hell...
Zain: Oh wow...
Shawn: Zayne, I know the hell you weren't just bullying Charlie. Like, leave that girl alone.
Zain: Boy bye
Shawn: Do you want me to send yo ass back to Canada?
Zain: No
Shawn: Ok. Let's go then
*Jay and Zain walk away*
Charlie: That man is always bothering someone
Roti: I know right, he's so annoying

Pop TV's Report (June 2nd - 1:30 PM PST)
Joan: This morning has seen the crazy side of people as they ran into the Garden Heights Krogers to get a hold of the Razzle Dazzle toaster strudels. Even though there's always a mob of people wanting the Razzle Dazzles at first launch, this one has seen actual injuries, is that right Tyler?
Tyler: Yes, that is right Joan. Highscorer, Blorangetiger and a store cashier were hospitalized after being trampled on by the crowd of people. The employee suffered minor injuries and is reportedly set to return to work the next week, the same cannot be said for Blorangetiger, who had his right eye stabbed by a random heel. At this time the random has not been identified.
Joan: Blorangetiger is currently staying at the St. Jane's Memorial Hospital for the time being. The hospital is notorious for not allowing journalists in, but we were able secure an interview at the hospital. Our correspondent, Leah Anderson, is currently at the hospital right now. Leah?

In Blorangetiger's Hospital Room

Leah: Yes. As you can see, I am currently in Blorangtiger's hospital room - and something that I would like to make absolutely clear is that Blorangetiger gave us the permission to interview him today, is that right Josh?
Josh: Yeah, that is absolutely right Leah.
Leah: Most celebrities would want privacy and would absolutely not allow cameras into their hospital room in a situation like yours, so why allow the cameras?
Josh: Well first, I am not like most highscorers. Obviously as a dare-devil youtuber, i'm no stranger to getting physically hurt, and besides, it's better to let your fans know that you're fine rather than leave them worried.
Leah: Do you think the individual that stepped on your eye did it on purpose?
Josh: Most likely, because they stepped on my eye pretty hard, but they probably didn't see me.
Leah: Have you tried the Razzle Dazzle Toaster Strudels?
Josh: No, i'm waiting to be in a better environment so there can be a more authentic reaction, but i'm really excited to try them.

"I GOT TRAMPLED AT KROGERS" - from BLORANGETIGER - posted on June 16th, 2023
Josh: Hey guys, Josh here with an eye patch *points to his right eye*
Taylor (off camera): I hope those toaster strudels are worth your eye
Josh: I know they're going to be, but like should I tell them about my eye?
Taylor (off camera): Yeah
Josh: Ok, so about 2 weeks ago, I was waiting in the crowd with everyone else and then everyone started running because the store opened. I was trying to catch up, but I felt someone push me, like pushed their shoulder on me. I fell and since there was so much people, I got trampled over and kinda felt someone dug their heel into my eye. *points to his eye* I was so hyper-fixated on the strudels that I didn't really notice my eye bleeding until a cashier saw my eye and forced me to stay and wait for the ambulance to come. *chuckles* Umm...so yeah, that's why I have this cool eyepatch.