Herzeleid ~ Rammstein Fan Fiction

Chapter 22

"Chris, please." Oliver tried, still caressing the drummer's hair. Schneider was sobbing at the kitchen table, desperately. His chest aching for the sobs.
"No! No! No! It can't be!" Doom shouted, shaking. "Paul died...he died, but...he...he's here, but he died..."
Somehow, Oliver managed to pull him on his feet and hug him. "It's okay, Chris, I'm here. You're not alone, just breathe, okay? Like we did this past months."

"I can't...I can't do it."
"Yes, you can."
"It hurt...my whole body hurt, Oli..."
"Shh, I know, we are together now."
"But you'll leave! I don't want you to go! I'm scared to be alone!"

Oliver shushed him and kissed Christoph on the top of his head. "It's okay, my dear."
Doom took a few time to relax but in the end, his breathing evened out, and he would have collapsed on the floor if Oliver wasn't quick enough to catch him.
"Finally..." The bassist sighed in relief and kissed the drummer again. "Let's put you to bed, Doom." With Till's help, he put him back to bed.
"Join us?" The frontman asked once Oliver had tucked the drummer under the blanket. "No." The tallest answered. "I better stay with him. Thank you." Till nodded and cracked a smile. "Will you be okay?"

"Sure... Doom has been like this for months now. I know how to deal with him."
"Okay... call me if you need anything."
"I will, thank you, Till."

Till came back to one of the most wholesome scene he had ever seen; Paul had, somehow, climbed in Richard lap and was now sleeping with his head on the youngest's shoulder, mouth half open.
Richard's hands were slowly going up and down on Paul's back, in a gentle movement.
"Dear..." Richard called Paul, kissing the smallest's cheek. The shortest grunted and shifted on Richard's lap, grasping on the lead guitarist's jumper.
"Sweetie, wake up, honey."
Till smiled and patted Richard's shoulder. "You're a great man, Richard. Let him sleep. Everything is fine now."

"Reesh..?" Paul called, causing the two to look at him. "Hey, good morning, my love. How do you feel?"

"I'm cold..."
"Emil and Flake went to the Main House to retrieve a jumper for you."
"Why..?"
"You panicked, my love. Emil had to cut your shirt. You couldn't breathe."

Paul straightened up and rubbed his eyes. "But why can't I have your jumper?"

"My precious boy, you won't be comfortable in it."
"But it has your...your scent. I want that."

He had a shiver and blushed. "Reesh, please... I... I don't want to be seen like this..." Richard started tearing up when Paul crossed his arms to hide what the illness had done to his body.
"Richard, I... I beg you... let me hide..."
The tears had already made a mess of Richard's makeup. Instead of wiping it away, he took Paul's hands and revealed his body and pale skin.
"Stop..." Paul demanded, not actually doing anything to stop the tallest. "There's nothing wrong with you, my precious boy."
The smallest hummed and bowed his head. "I'm sorry." He muttered, drying his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Don't be, Paulchen. Come with me, I'll show you something." Paul glanced over at Till, but he had already left for a phone call.

Richard took Paul's hand in his and led him to the large bathroom at the end of the corridor.
Once inside, he locked the door behind them.
He took Paul's hips from behind and centred him in front of the mirror. "Do you know what I see?"

"A dead man walking."
"No, Paulchen. I see my beautiful boyfriend, standing tall, stronger than ever."

Paul ran his hands on his face and shook his head. "I'm not strong... I'm half dead. Why can't you see it."
"Because it's not true."
Suddenly, with a strength he wasn't aware of, Paul pulled away from his lover's grasp and looked at him.
He swallowed dryly and took a deep breath.
"Richard... please, I want you. Now..."
The lead guitarist was speechless; standing in front of him, there was Paul, yes, but weaker, paler. Surely not able to... have a session, even if an extremely vanilla one.