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𖤐 ❛❛ 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙋𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙁𝙄𝙑𝙀 — 𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙎 ❜❜ 𖤐
CONTENT AHEAD: (physical and emotional trauma)
☆ﾐ
SEPTEMBER 25, 2022; 15 MINUTES LATER "So let me get this straight. You're saying that you're the daughter of Billy Loomis, and, what, that one of us is the killer?" Chad says in disbelief
"The killer told me he knew my secret. He attacked Tara to lure me back here." Sam states as she looks around. "But then why immediately go and murder some d**che-nozzle that was stalking Liv?" Chad questions.
"And why does it have to be one of us?" Wes asks afterward. "What about Deputy Dewey here? Maybe he's the killer."
Ethel glares at Wes in response, which he notices. "No offense."
"None taken, but what's my motive?"
"You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list."
"A**hole." Ethel mumbles under her breath as she crosses her arms.
"Well, maybe you're the killer." Dewey remarks and Ethel looks at him. "Because that cut deep." He finishes and Ethel looks back at Wes.
"That d**che-nozzle is connected." Amber says as she looks him up on her phone. "I googled him, I googled him. His mom is Leslie Macher. Stu Macher's sister."
"Who's Stu Macher?" Liv asks. "He was Billy Loomis's accomplice." Ethel replies. "Yeah, he was a real, loony tune." Dewey interjects.
"Okay. Okay. So the first three attacks are all in people related to the original killers." Sam states and Ethel sighs.
"Oh my god! He's making a requel!" Mindy exclaims. "A what?" Sam questions.
"Or a legacyquel." Ethel suggests. "Fans are torn on the terminology." Mindy states.
"Please speak English." Chad says frustratedly. "Okay, remember the stab movie that came out last year?" Mindy asks, sitting up.
"Oh yeah! The one the Knives Out guy directed right?" Liv questions excitedly. "I actually really liked that one."
"Of course you did. You have terrible taste." Mindy retorts. "I hate you." Liv states flatly.
"The point it, the hard-core Stab fans hated it. You go on 4chan and Dreadit, all they're talking about is how Stab 8 p*ssed on their childhoods. How they crammed in social commentary just to elevate it. How the main character's a Mary Sue."
