Gordon Ramsay teaching Hogwarts Students

16 (Blaise POV)

Hello there humans! Again, no images because I have no clue how to do it on this device, sorry! Time for Halloween!

I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Kat Potter and Eleanor Jackson/Riddle. They belong to Dobby, @BunnyGirlHP, and @ToastIsSuperior respectively.

Swearing.

Remember:

"Fred"
"George"
"Both twins"
-~-Talking to a non-reptile animal-~-
*Parseltongue*
Thoughts/Memories
$Gobbledegook$
'Foreign language'

"Singing"

'Writing'

"What did you say to Hermione, Weasel?" Finne challenged Ron. Ah, shit. This won't end well.

"I said it's no wonder she's got no friends. She's an insufferable know-it-all who can't be second-best!"

"Hermione has friends, and she's not an insufferable know-it-all. It's not her fault if she read ahead because she was curious. I think that you just don't like being second-best to a girl."

"Is there a problem?"

"No, Professor Flitwick," Weasley muttered as he walked away, ears red.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for being an arsehole."

"Thanks, Professor," Finne smiled.

"No problem. Now, why don't you run along and get to your next class? I believe that Professor Quirrell will be expecting you five in his class."

"Yes, sir!" Harry mock-saluted to the Professor.

~Bonjour, I'm Tim Eskip, taking you to dinner at 5:23 pm!~

"Look, it's Quirrell!" Kat pointed out.

"What stick got up his ass?" Eleanor asked.

"TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" he screamed as he ran to Fumblewhore. "Thought you ought to know." He fainted.

"SILENCE!" Fumblewhore yelled. "All of you are to head back to your dormitories!"

Protests from the entire Slytherin table, Kat and the Devil Twins, most of the Hufflepuffs, some Ravenclaws, and half the Professors.

"Albus, the Slytherin dormitory is in the Dungeons!" Minnie scolded him.

"And the slimy snakes can handle it, right, Minerva? Mind your own house!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Sprout shouted. "The Hufflepuff Common Room is open to all Slytherins!"

"As is the Ravenclaw Common Room!" Flitwick squeaked.

Minnie joined them. "Gryffindor is open as well!"

"I'm gonna finish my risotto, and then me and the teachers are gonna go down to the Dungeons and fight the troll! Prefects, take your Houses back to the Dormitories! Thank you!"

Our party of ten ran down the stairs to the Hufflepuff Basement, but then we realized...

"Where's Hermione?!" Neville asked.

"Shit, she's in the girls' bathroom! She doesn't know about the troll!" Kat exclaimed.

"Alrighty, people with balls: stay outside the bathroom in case the troll comes that way, and people with boobs: go in and warn her!"

"Good idea!"

Harry, Dudley, Neville, the Devil Twins, Draco, and I stayed outside the bathroom areas, while Kat, Finne, and Eleanor went in.