Strangers Again?

Shot in the Dark?

After that night working with Natalie, the frequency we would talk over text only increased as I got to know even more about her. Some of the things that stood out to me personally was noticing that she had an awkward sense of humour that still made me laugh genuinely. 

This isn't a negative thing, of course; it's just that I'm personally an introvert myself and get very nervous around people in general. Add on the fact that I have feelings for her, and that awkward feeling gets multiplied tenfold. 

For example, Natalie and I talked about how our shifts went one night, and I mentioned how I had a tough time with a specific customer. 

"Hey Grant, how was work today? Happy to see you as always :)" Natalie texted me as my heart fluttered and the butterflies came alive again in my stomach. 

"Hey, Natalie it was good as always, a lot better since you were there too :) Unfortunately, this one specific customer gave me a hard time." I text back, knowing that once Natalie catches wind of anything, she'll stop at nothing to find out the whole story; that's how curious and assertive she is. 

"I'm sorry to hear, Grant; what happened? You can tell me, I'll be here for you if you want to vent or talk through things!" Natalie responded as I appreciated the validation that she'd be here for me through more challenging days and times. 

"Thank you so much; I'll always be here for you too no matter what! This customer was very frustrating to deal with since when John and I tried to tell the customer that we didn't have the item she wanted in stock, she immediately got angry and wanted to report us to head office..." I explained that John was one of the supervisors at work and was just as frustrated with the whole situation that night. 

"Oh wow, that's crazy to hear. Maybe you guys were not looking hard enough haha..." She responded along those lines, which was an apparent attempt at a joke but it wasn't what I expected as a response which was okay since it wasn't a bad thing at all; it just made it sometimes challenging not to feel awkward and unsure about how to respond. 

"You're probably right Natalie, but it's all good; I'm happy to be done now and relaxing! I will head off to bed now; goodnight and we'll talk tomorrow. Sleep well; looking forward to seeing you again soon :)" I text, extremely tired and looking forward to getting some good rest for another long day tomorrow.  

"Same here Grant, glad to see you and we will talk tomorrow! Sleep well, Mr. Lawyer :)" Natalie responds, which makes my heart skip a beat. At this point, I've enjoyed the past month or so of spending a lot more time talking to Natalie and also getting to know her. But her calling me a nickname is one of our foundational bonds with our friendship and connection, and something that I don't reveal to anyone but people I genuinely care about meant a lot more to me than I could ever explain even here. Just that feeling inside was special and made me so happy.

The next couple of weeks or so, which was in the middle of February, was continuing to get through the school year, enjoying working and spending time with Natalie, Alex, and Luther simultaneously. Especially with Alex and Luther, we would talk about many things like we usually do like how our days have gone and certain things that were more personal because that was the trust we had going both ways. But more often than not, they both would bug me about Natalie and how things were going with her. 

Especially with a conversation I had with Luther that I still vividly remember today, that helped progress things further regarding having more clarity about how I felt about Natalie.

"Hey Grant, how's your day been today? Also, how are things with you know who? I'm curious!" Luther texted along those lines once we got home from school that day. 

"Well hello Luther, I'm doing good thanks for asking! How are you doing as well? Things are complicated, but we can talk about it now." I reply to Luther, my heart racing again, thinking about Natalie and everything I've felt in this short time. 

"I'm happy to hear that, I'm also doing well! We can discuss it if you're comfortable; always here for you too." He responds as I prepare to explain it the best I can through text and signify my feelings. 

"I appreciate it as always; same for you too! I've been getting closer to Natalie and enjoying it all. But I've been conflicted on my feelings about Natalie and if I should ask her out... because that's a huge commitment and I've never even felt the urge to do something like that with anyone else." As my heart continues to beat faster and faster. 

"Oh Grant, I felt you were starting to think that way. You should try it if you feel so happy and positive around her! I can help you with some ideas of course :)" He replies, which always makes me feel a particular way.

In the next bit, we discuss the best way to approach her and try to ask with the best shot of getting a yes for going out. I remember Luther telling me that it's best to keep expectations low but also be optimistic and hope for the best which helped me immensely.


That same night, I texted Natalie and hoped for the best...


Author's Note:
I appreciate all the love and support; this means the world to me. This is a way for me to move forward, look back at times like this with grace, and appreciate it for what it was. The next chapter is a turning point, and I can't wait to share it with you all :)