Chasing Soul (Aliser Series 1)

Kabanata 26

Revelation

Claire visited me now. Na sa kwarto lang ako. Masaya ako na legal na abogado na sya ngayon. Masaya ako na nirerespeto nya ang desisyon kong huwag ipaalam sa kahit sino man kung nasaan ako sa buong pitong taon. Katulad ng pagtago sa akin ng mga magulang ko.

"I hope you are healing couz, I know you can do it cause you are brave and fearless. I think it's time... to heal. Biktima ka. At lagi mong tatandaan na andito lang kami, couz... hindi ka namin iiwan ha? Naiintindihan mo ba?" si Claire at kasabay nun ang pagtulo ng luha niya.

Humagolhol ako dahil alam kong marami silang nagmamahal saakin. Alam kong dapat wala akong dapat katakutan at ikadiri sa sarili ko. Na wala akong dapat ikahiya. Biktima ako. Yon yong totoo.

Kumalas ako sa yakap at marahang pinunasan ni Claire ang pisngi ko. She gave me smile just like before. Mahal na mahal ko itong pinsan ko. Sobra.

"Hindi na sya makakalabas sa kulungan, couz. Pangako. Hinding hindi. I already talk to your attorney. Marami din siyang kasong nagpadiin sa kanya. Panggagahasa, paggamit ng bawal na gamot. Napakarami couz. Mabubulok siya sa kulungan. Tita Gina was dumped too dahil alam naman niyang sinasaktan siya ni Tito Vince ay kahit kailangan hindi siya nag salita at nagreklamo. She is now not part of the family. Kahit hindi niya yon ginawa, pero she still tolerated the doings of his boyfriend sa mahabang taon na magkasama sila." Claire was explaining and giving me assurance.

"Thank you sa lahat ng ginawa mo para sa akin couz." ako at di ko na mapigilan umiyak pa. Pero nagsalita parin ako.  "Babalik ako sa Pilipinas. Aayusin ko ang buhay ko. Tatanggapin ko ang offer ni Dad. He wants me to make the renovation of the Soron Paradise Hotel of a friend during my junior high school, Claire. Her parents was the closest friends of Dad too kaya kami nagkakilala noon. Nawalan lang ng connection ng hindi sila nagkaintindihan ni Papa but then things are okay now. I got my email too yesterday. Ngayon ko lang binasa. Its from Astrid. Pero Claire, takot parin akong makita sya kung sakali dahil alam kong sobrang nasaktan ko siya... si Ian. "

"Wag kang matakot, alam ko na maintindihan niya. At proud na proud ako sayo dahik kahapon lang ng naipasa mo ang board exam mo tapos ngayon ito kana. Your dad too was great dahil you got to experience the engineering things too kahit hindi ka pa nag take ng board exam last year. He just gave you the experience habang pinapanood mo sya sa mga ginagawa niya. Mahal na mahal ka ng Papa mo, Alirah, Magiging lakas mo sila couz. " aniya.

For seven years I hide and made the selfish decision ever. Alam kong mali pero hindi ko naman kayang mahalin si Ian kung alam ko mismo sa sarili kong hindi ako okay. I am not mentally stable when I know I can't even speak, I shout when I see people around, I shout when someone's touch me or talk to me. I was devastated and scared. Kaya mas pinili kong manahimik at wag na syang kausapin. I throw the six years we have. I didn't even explained. I didn't even explained. But my story that time is not yet ready to be told.

I was raped. The 29th of May was the most unpleasing, harsh, bad, nasty, ugly, horrible and worst date of surviving myself when I knew I would get killed if I fought. But the truth is even if I fought that day and give force, I will still be raped and I was. I stabbed Tito Vince that day. He ask me to be with him dahil ang sabi niya pinapasama ako ni Tita Gina. That morning I received also a message from Tita Gina. She told me na sumama kay Tito Vince dahil kailangan niya ako for reason. Nakasama ko sila sa bahay kaya agad naman akong naniniwala sa pagkakataon yon... but then that day killed me.

Tito Vince brought me in a small old house. Walang ka tao tao nang bumaba ako. Akala ko naman nasa loob si Tita Gina but the moment I looked at the eyes of Tito Vince, bit by bit I'm getting the hint so I run that day pero hindi pa ako nakakalayo ay hinila niya na ako. Nanlaban ako pero nilagyan nya ng panyo ang buong ilong ko dahilan para magising akong nakatali na. I saw Tito Vince using drugs in front of me. He was holding a knife but then he put it down on the small nasty and dirty table beside him.