The Gaping Dickhole of Life

Trey Parker's a Big Fat Bitch

"Trey seriously?! I told you to set the date for the interview!" Matt sighed as he checked his watch frantically, trying to monitor the time.

"Matt I'm sorry! I thought it was next week, not April 30th!" Trey sighed softly as he rushed through the closet, trying to find something that would fit him comfortably.

"Trey, just get a pair of jeans and a shirt, you look great in anything." Matt smiled impatiently as he checked his watch for the millionth time before leaving to go start the car.

Reaching into the back of his closet, Trey took a hold of an old piece of clothing he hadn't seen since the eighties. Pulling it out he smiled triumphantly before jumping into them and grabbing a belt to support the extremely baggy jeans. Trey slipped on a loose fitting T-shirt and fled the room, making his way down to the front door where Matt stood waiting with Trey's jacket.

"Ready?" Matt smiled as he slipped Trey's jacket on him and kissed his cheek before taking his hand and dragging him out to the car in a rush.

"Woah Matt, easy on the tugging." Trey sighed as he stumbled slightly, climbing into the passenger side of the car. Matt climbed into the drivers side and buckled his seat belt quickly;

"C'mon babe, we haven't got all day, we have half an hour to get there." Matt sighed as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Blame me some more why don't you?" Trey huffed as he crossed his arms and faced the opposite way of Matt. Matt glanced over at his boyfriend who's was clearly annoyed at Matt for the hundredth time this past week.

"What are you pissed about now?" Matt questioned as he kept his eyes on the road, clenching at his jaw as he tried to hold back his anger. He heard Trey huff an exasperated sigh before answering him;

"Just shut the fuck up and drive Matt, you're gonna make us late with all this questioning!" Trey shouted as he turned the radio up in an attempt to end the conversation immediately.

———

As Matt and Trey burst through the doors of the interview studio, they were met with their angry agent who stared at them, her eyes were piercing through the couple like bullets. "You're late! This was the one thing I've only ever asked you to be early to and you fucking arrive late!" She raged while pulling them towards the waiting room. "Now we've been set back ten minutes."

"It's all Trey's fault, he set the wrong date and took days to get ready!" Matt sighed as he crossed his arms, slouching into the sofa their agent pushed them onto.

"Oh shut up Matt! You should've written down the date if you were so sure about it!" Trey said angrily as he looked over at Matt.

"Why are you always so moody?! It's starting to piss me off." Matt spat at Trey before their agent stepped in to break apart their argument.

"Shut up both of you! You have about eight minutes to sort this fight out before you walk into that room and begin the interview, I'll see you two in there." She frowned before flicking both of their foreheads and walking into the interview room to talk to the organisers.

"Fucking bitch." Trey sighed as he sat tensely on the couch, his knee bouncing with fearful anticipation for the upcoming interview. Matt watched as Trey bit his lip nervously and asked;

"Are you okay?" He said, a hint of concern ringing through making Trey break out of his trance.

Trey scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Pfft, as if you care." He sighed, watching as Matt sat upright.

"Seriously? Of course I care Trey." Matt said exasperated, slightly offended at his boyfriends accusations. Trey glanced over and saw Matt's sad, puppy dog eyes making him take a deep breath and lean into him.