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31.in too Deep

December.12.2022

this was just another night of Gracie and i staying up watching movies this night we decided to watch pride and prejudice, by the end Gracie was in a ball on my lap crying I move over putting my hand on her back laughing "Don't laugh at me" I try to stop but she just looked so cute I couldn't help but laugh and smile at her "I'm not laughing at you" She stretches out on top of me randomly my thoughts come crashing down thinking back to the other night "what happened the other day when we were talking?" I say abruptly, her smile drops "what do you mean?" she's now sitting up straight not looking at me "You've been acting off ever since that day, did something happen?" I watch her take a deep breath and her shoulders tense "I just um- I" she stumbles on her words "I was overthinking and i just thought this is" she motions between me and her "us we're too good to be true, sometimes I think are going fast? then it ends up scaring me into this pushing myself away, other times it's like I don't have a thought in my head other than you and wanting to be around you. My mind can't choose what the fuck it wants to believe" I smile at her knowingly "Do you want me to talk or do you just want me to listen" Her head is in her hands she laughs nervously

"talk please"

"Okay, I know what your feeling I feel it sometimes I've struggled with it in the past pushing people away just know if you ever need space just let me know, don't just disappear on me" She looks up her face looking almost shocked and relieved at the same time "every time I've been in relationships I've been hurt which I honestly at this point I feel like you can't be in love without there being a pain in the end because I give them everything and they always give me nothing in return" I don't say anything I just nod my head showing that I'm listening and for her to keep talking "sorry that got really depressing really quick" she lets out a kind of wheeze and laugh mix "no I like you being open with me, be depressing let it all out" I laugh "I don't wanna bore you plus you already know a lot from listening to my extremely sad music" I see her nervously fidgeting with her hands I hold them she lifts herself up "Yeah I have but I want to hear everything and I want to hear it from you not in song form even though your songs are magnificent" I rub circles on her hands she turns around facing me her face slightly pink "It's hard to think that this is all going to just come crashing down on me I oh god might sound stupid and lame but I like you a lot I really don't want any of this to end" my hands brush her cheek she leans into my hand "I'm not ending anything" our foreheads now touching "And if you're lame then I'm lame because I like you a lot too hell I liked you before you even knew I existed" She laughs she looks so beautiful "Well if I liked you ever since I saw you in that cafe so we're both lame I gue-" I cut her off by kissing her, I feel her soft lips I can taste a little bit of vanilla Chapstick she pulls me closer I smell her signature perfume which has become my favorite smell she pulls herself onto my lap I hear her breath quicken, my hands lay on her waist. we finally let go of each other trying to get some air "Can we just keep kissing like this for- um for a while" When she says this I smile, being happy knowing she's communicating with me "Of course" We go back to kissing, her hands reach into my hair slightly pulling it I almost groan before containing myself again knock knock we stay in our spot not caring enough to get the door knock knock knock "should we get that?" she looks at me her lips red and full "I want to say no but we probably should I think it may be the pizza" she kisses me quickly one more time before getting up when she gets back to the couch she has the pizza in hand "what movie should we watch now?" I sit and think for a second

"la la land?"

"I've never seen it"

"oh get ready"

"why'd you say that"

"Because I know you will cry so just prepare yourself"

"wow trying to make me cry how nice of you, you didn't deserve that make out, I sat on your lap and everything" I blush at her bringing up the event that occurred a minute ago "Come on gray let's eat and watch the movie I won't laugh at you cutely crying this time" she moves back to her spot next to me on the couch with her legs laid on my lap "yeah you better not"

A/n- i saw noah kahan a while ago i still don't know how to act HAHA