in your arms -KimPorchay

Chapter 02

It's been 3 weeks since Porchay saw the positive lines on the pregnancy kit. He still had not made it to the clinic for an official check-up. Days went by with him either focusing on his homework or lying in bed staring at the wall.

There were times when his brother looked concerned for him. He tried to mask it up by saying that he was tired. It wasn't a complete lie. Most days he didn't have any energy to do anything but he needed to keep up with classes to at least barely pass. Concentrating in class was already a pain.

It didn't help that he still hasn't talked to Kim about his situation. He wasn't sure what can he say to him about this whole ordeal when they aren't even together anymore.

Some days he saw Kim staring at him from his table during lunch break. Porchay mostly focused on his food. It was getting harder to keep the food. His nausea was increasing on a regular basis. He tried his best to keep it hidden from Porsche but there were days when Porsche caught him and nagged him to get checked. He brushed him off by making some excuses that he knows wouldn't work for long enough. He needs to talk to his brother someday regardless of how much disappointment it would bring him.

He was running out of options. The more he delays the more it will get difficult if he wanted to terminate the pregnancy and he needed the consent of an adult to do it. His heart constricts every time he thinks about life inside of him. He has started to have feelings for this thing. He doesn't want to live his life without this thing either. It was proof of his love even though it had left him in pain and misery only.

He often skipped his morning breakfast to avoid nausea. He knows he was putting his own and his thing health at risk. But he couldn't bring himself to eat knowing it will only be ended up getting vomited and he felt horrible for wasting food which his brother can eat and get some energy.

His meeting with his friends was becoming limited. He was consumed by guilt, sadness, and loneliness. He gave his friends and classmates enough attention to not bring any unnecessary attention to himself. It was working fine for him. Until, at the beginning of his 4th week after finding out about his pregnancy, he forgot to turn in his midterm project.

He was called in at the teacher's office. He didn't have any solid explanation in his defense. He got the 2 days extension with the cost of demerits. He was grateful at least he would still manage to pass this subject. He didn't want to be held back and further disappoint his brother by not even caring about his efforts to educate him.

He spends his remaining day staying at school and working on his project model to finish it within the two-day deadline. It made him forget he was supposed to be eating as well. Running the whole day on coconut water and juices. He reached home to only fall asleep as soon as he hit the bed.

The next two were spent in the same manner. He managed to down one meal at lunch and brought all his focus on his project. Straining all of his muscles and finally pulled through the project at midnight the day before submission. At least, he would be able to submit it tomorrow.

After the submission the next day, he felt a lot relieved by letting go of the stress. In the past two days, he managed to think less about his heartbreak and the thing. He felt satisfied to control his emotions for 2 days at least.

Walking down the streets and stopping at the park. He saw children with their friends playing, and some parents with toddlers walking as well. His hand unconsciously went to his stomach and he rubbed there while watching everyone. There were some feelings tugging at his heart he couldn't pinpoint. For a moment, he imagined his future where he walked with a toddler as well.

Suddenly, his heart felt heavy and there were indeed tears in his eyes. He didn't know what the future holds for him but terminating his pregnancy was not something he wanted to think about in that moment. For the first time, he tried to acknowledge it even if it wasn't in complete consciousness.