Unnoticed

Analogys

Naomi

"I always wondered what it was like to be chosen, I was never chosen. I was a maybe, a probably sometimes, even a definitely but never the one. Never the chosen one like Maya. But I realized the mistake I had made was to wait to be chosen by him or by her or by them. I wasn't even choosing me so why would anyone else choose me."

"That was perfect thank you for sharing Naomi, I know it takes a lot of courage to share how you feel." Jamie smiles comforting me.

"Thank you." I smiled.

My siblings made me get a therapist after the my attempted suicide and got diagnosed with PTSD and depression. My therapist name was Jamie she was a middle aged black woman with a big beautiful Afro. She made me start a journal to write down how I felt whenever something I deemed important happened. All I've been writing about lately seemed to be negative things though.

She always found a way to get me out of my comfort zone. She knew I hated speaking out especially when its my personal emotions. She would make me read out one journal entry every session. I still didn't quite understand her goal but I went along with it. Weirdly enough she made me feel comfortable doing things I usually didn't like.

"Has anything happened lately to make you think about Maya?"

"Yeah, she came to my house the other day to apologize."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Angry but at the same time sad I still loved her she was my best friend my only friend, I didn't want to end out friend ship but I knew I had to she was a bad person. I mean she was apologizing trying to make it seem like she didn't mean to sleep with him and hurt me." I scoff.

"Do you think you will ever forgive her for what she did?"

I scoff, "no."

"And why's that?"

"Because what she did was just dirty I mean you would never do that to your quote on quote best friend would you?

"No but everyone is different Naomi remember that, so just like you're comparing her to me you're invalidating the emotions in the situation because I will never be able to feel exactly how Maya felt."

"I don't care how Maya felt what she did was wrong, her emotions don't change that fact."

"I never said it did Naomi I'm just trying to get you look at things with two different point of views one might see an angry bear but another sees a bear protecting its habitat.

"Enough with the crazy analogies Jamie get to the point."

She sighs "look, I'm not telling you to forgive her and forget everything she's done, but sometimes in order to heal you must forgive."

"I don't know I'll think about it."

"That's fine with me, our time is up Naomi but I look forward to hearing your next journal entry." She smiles.

"Okay see you later Jamie." I smile getting up to leave. She was so good at convincing people to do things especially due to her comforting aura. I feel like she could convince a hardcore drug addict to give up the drug.

Bt the time my brother dropped me off to school the bell was ringing for 5th period, now usually I would just skip and give the school my therapist excuse but I had a new person to tutor after school today. I hope they'll be an easy student.

I hated the fact that every time I got here I unconsciously looked for Matteo I had a bit of excitement about having this class because of him. He was growing on me and I didn't know if it was a good thing yet.