Peter Parker being a moron (spiderson crack <3)

Something, something, memes about lettuce?

Ok, Peter was seriously starting to get Deja Vu from the experience of waking up in a strange place with his hands tied behind his back.

Although, from his brief glance around the dark box he was seemingly trapped in, it was revealed to him that this situation was so much worse than every other one he'd been in before due to the fact that Flash Thompson himself was passed out to his left, as well as what looked like half his physics class.

Yippee.

How fun.

It seemed he was the only one awake, out of the 7 or so students of Midtown who were all collapsed on the floor around the box.

That's going to make escaping with his cover intact a lot more difficult, but at least Peter has company this time. He might even be able to annoy himself during this kidnapping.

Surprisingly, the kidnappers from last time weren't very interested in playing eye spy with him.

But, to be fair, after rope, cell, and ugly kidnapper faces, there wasn't much left else to 'spy' so Peter doesn't blame them.

Trying to make sense of the situation, Peter took note of 2 important details, the camera in the corner of the ceiling that was on (he could hear the annoying buzzing) and the fact that every student that was tied up with him had rich parents.

And those 2 things combined could only mean one thing: ransom! Peter's favourite type of kidnapping because it usually involves a video to his father figure/ mentor in which he can complain about how shitty the kidnappers are at their job.

Peter liked complaining. He was very good at it.

Ordinarily, he would have easily broken out of the rope by this point before climbing onto the ceiling to jump whoever entered the room. But his classmates and the camera made it so he couldn't do that without revealing his identity.

Which to be honest, would be pretty funny to do and see the look on Flash's face.

Peter waited patiently as his classmates heartbeats started to quicken and they all seemed to wake up simultaneously, clearly stirring from a drug induced nap.

What Peter would do for a drug induced nap right now...

Unfortunately for everyone in the room, Flash decided to speak first.

"Where the fuck are we?!"

And now everyone was panicking.

Way to go Flash. Way to stay calm under pressure. Peter rolled his eyes.

"Everyone calm down," he yelled, which seemed to work as the murmuring and crying ceased.

Honestly, this wasn't even close to the top 5 of worst kidnapping cells. Peter was sure that Ms. Mojo wouldn't even entertain the idea of placing this cell as a runner-up for worst hostage experience. They were all so dramatic.

Fine. The kidnapping expert Peter himself, will just have to take control of the situation.

"There's a camera in the corner and I think they are holding us for ransom, but I don't know if it's recording or streaming or what so everyone just stay calm. If you act scared it just gives the kidnappers power over you which might make them gag, or even hurt you."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because half the kids immediately starting crying and shouting even harder.

Ok, maybe he shouldn't have brought up the fact they could be hurt.

"Wait a minute-" Flash paused, seemingly thinking very hard. Peter hoped he would strain a muscle doing that.

"If they're holding us for ransom, why would they take penis then?- everyone knows he's here on a scholarship."