Hogwarts Legacy Oneshots

The 'Real' Polyjuice Plot (Part I)

written by Belilula, edited by Abidolly

Characters: MC (desguised as Headmaster)

Warning: Ambiguous allusions, light physical violence

A/N: Well.. my first Author's Note, wow! I had freaking fun writing this Oneshot.. Or more like Twoshot because the next part will be the sequel. It will be less funny but more spicy! ;)

Description: We all love the quest 'The Polyjuice Plot' but the plot is a little bit different here...

The disgusting taste of the polyjuice potion still lingered on my tongue as I hurried out of Professor Fig's classroom. "But please, try not to get too close to Madam Kogawa and stick to the topic. We don't want to bring up any.. uncomfortable conversations!" Professor Fig called out to me from his office. I only nodded, not suspecting anything.

I walked briskly, trying to mimic Headmaster Black's posture while still imitating the man's same bored and annoyed look. The beard that had grown on my skin tickled my chin. Surprisingly his clothes were actually not that uncomfortable. Only that tight fitting in my private parts was a bit odd. Seems like Black was blessed.. ehm.. have I lost my mind? I shook my head in disbelief and tried to concentrate on my given task.

Just as I was turning the corner, I heard Professor Sharp's voice call out, "Professor. A moment of your time, please." Oh great. I really wasn't in the mood for a conversation, I just wanted to find Scrope, the house elf. But Sharp didn't let my persistent gait stop him, blocked my path and went on talking undeterred. "Professor, I was hoping to catch you. I.."

I wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible, so I interrupted him, "Oh. I - uh - places to be, Professor Sharp. Places to be." I still had to practise my voice a bit if I wanted to get away with Scrope. It was still far too shrill and too bright. But Sharp didn't let that bother him. "Of course, sir. Only - you'd asked me about a particular potion and I - well, I.." he stammered.

"I did? I did. Yes. Well, spit it out, Sharp. I don't have all day." I interrupted him again. I could really pass as the headmaster because of my annoyed behaviour.

Sharp raised his eyebrows and replied "Probably best not to discuss it here, sir." I really didn't care if this conversation was private, so I replied "I assure you, Sharp. You may speak freely." The students who were taking their break in the hallways could use a little entertainment.

Was that a slightly amused look on his face? The students, sitting on the bench in the corner, lifted their heads to hear the conversation better. "Very well. I finished brewing the.. concoction.. you wanted. Remember?" He clasped his hands together meaningfully. I had no idea what kind of concoction he might be referring to. This could be interesting.

"Could you please be a little more specific, Sharp? I don't have forever." I replied, eager for his answer. I had long suspected that the Headmaster was dying his hair, I guess now the secret of whether I was right would be revealed.

"You asked me to create something that would soften the skin while also numbing it a little if it needed to be.. stretched for.. uhm.." Sharp hesitated "...private interactions." he finished after a small pause.

What? What did he mean by that? Now my curiosity was piqued, but time was of the essence, so I nodded to him and said "You can drop it by my office." Confused, I walked off, leaving poor Professor Sharp in the hallway with the giggling students.

Finally I could continue my way to Scrope. I exited the Defence Against the Dark Arts Tower and, after teasing Garreth Weasley a bit, arrived at the Central Hall.

Ominis Gaunt staggered in front of the large exit. Of course, he had already known of my presence from the whispers the students had about me.. I mean Headmaster Black. Smart boy. He always expressed himself in such a well-chosen way, maybe I could somehow draw him out of his reserve.

"Mr Gaunt. Where do you think you're going?" I asked him very convincingly. The Headmaster's demeanour gave me insane confidence.

Unsure, Ominis answered "I beg your pardon, sir? I'm simply on my way outside." he looked sideways at me with the expression of a deer blinded by the headlights of a train. This could be fun.

"Taking the day off, eh? Typical student, wasting the hours away." I said teasingly. This was unsettling Ominis, his gaze shifting even further to the side, suggesting that he was concentrating more on an appropriate answer than on the localization of my voice. "I - I have to write twenty inches on dittany and its uses. Was heading to the greenhouse." his voice nearly cracked with uncertainty. I had to pull myself together not to burst out laughing.

"Ah. Yes. Mixed with, uhm, Bubotuber pus makes a fine lube, eh I mean, moustache paste." His facial expression was unique, he turned deep red and even drowned out the red glow of his wand. Oh, what I would give to be around when he would tell Sebastian Sallow about our conversation.

"You must know, Sir." Was the only thing I heard from him before he left me standing at the exit, puzzled by his quick-witted answer.

I was starting to get suspicious. All the insinuations were very noticeable, but I didn't have much time and the potion only lasted an hour. In passing, I snapped at some students to perfect my disguise of the headmaster. Opening the exit door, I saw Madam Kogawa standing on the bridge. She waited impatiently

I stepped onto the bridge and before I could even stop, she was already speaking. "Professor? A word? This conversation is in public, you know what that means."

I hadn't even known that the two of them were on first-name terms. Very professional that they didn't flaunt this in public.

"Professor Black. Again, it is not too late to reconsider your decision regarding Quidditch." she continued. She emphasised my salutation very oddly.

"But - the injury. Madam Kogawa." I, too, tried to pronounce the 'madam' exaggeratedly. Maybe this was some insider joke I didn't understand and I didn't want her to find out I wasn't Black.

"They're fine now. The fact it happened to be a pure-blood, well, that's no reason to -" I had already read about the incident in Nurse Blainey's files. So this information from her did not surprise me. I had to stay in character, so I tried vehemently to shut down Quidditch.

In Black's typical manners, I raised my voice and cut her off "What nonsense! Uh - that you would trivialise the health of a student over a silly game." My words seemed to upset her.

"A silly game? I - You.. You're taking yourself damn much today. How dare you talk to me like that, dog." I looked at her in shock. Dog? Did she say the wrong word by mistake? I waited with my answer, maybe she would revise her statement.

"What?! You don't want to answer? Oh if we weren't in public now..." she said, squinted her eyes and walked past me. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my left buttcheek. Ouch! I turned around in panic and saw her wink at me. "We will... discuss.. this behaviour in detail later, Professor." And again she emphasised the 'professor' so clearly. What in Merlin's fucking beard?! I had questions and lots of them. 

***

Editor's note:  Ever since Beli brought up this idea, it's stuck in my head as canon. Now, I can't play this quest without thinking about it in a whole new way. Innocence shattered, thanks a lot!