Flawless

09

It was unusual for Kinn to take a day off but no one dared to complain. It was his kingdom and he pulled the strings. Vegas and Kim took over the schedule.  Kinn had given them such strict schedules to follow they didn't even have time to make sense of it.

That's how Kinn left them, in utter chaos.

He himself made merits for his father, his mother and roamed around the city. Later during noon, he took a flight to the coastal town Pete had been to.

He inspected a few bars near the sea and then spotted the one he was looking for. He had to see for himself what Porsche had made. He needed to know what became bigger than his love. Drunk by curiosity he headed inside.

To his relief Porsche didn't attend to him, nor did he seem to notice as Kinn sat down in one dark corner. He ordered a few drinks which were served to him not by Porsche.

His eyes scanned the place as he chugged the liquor. He was searching for that one person everywhere. The only one he was here for.

Anger gushed through Kinn's blood when he saw Porsche walking into the bar with a man in his arms. A muscular tanned man, in Porsche's embrace was leaning towards Porsche's face.

A huge grin was plastered on Porsche face as he guided his companion through the crowd towards the bar counter. Their backs were now turned towards Kinn but they separated much to Kinn's relief.

Yet their proximity barely changed. The man was still leaning towards Porsche and now occasionally touching his arm. Kinn could see the way he stroked Porsche's back, rubbing small circles on it as the other man smiled brightly. They were talking, but it was obvious they were flirting by the look in their eyes.

Soon Porsche and the stranger, whose curly hair gave Kinn a reason to die, had started drinking. They were so into each other Kinn could barely breathe.

He ordered more drinks, then more and then even more till his vision blurred and he could no longer see that bitch again.

"Sir?" The waiter gently tapped Kinn on the shoulder.
"Hm?"
"The bar is about to close, sir. I'm afraid we won't be able to serve you more. If you could-"
"Shut up." Kinn slurred.
"I'm sorry?"
"I said shut up."
"Sir, if you cause any trouble we will have to call the cops-"
Kinn had already gotten up from his seat and despite his drunken wobbly state had pushed the waiter away.
Porsche and his companion got alarmed by this sudden commotion. He along with that curly haired guy headed towards Kinn.

"Oh? So you decided to come to me? You really didn't have to." Kinn smirked and slapped Porsche's shoulder.

Porsche froze. How long has he been here? How much had he seen? Why did he bother coming back?

While a million questions clouded his mind, a drink Kinn had already advanced towards the curly haired man.

"How dare you touch him with your filthy hands?" A punch landed on the guy's face.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Another punch.

"Kinn! Stop it!" Porsche butted in, trying his hardest to break the men apart.

"I'm his date for tonight. Do you have any problem?" The curly haired man had grabbed Kinn by the collar, things were escalating.
"No, please, Menn, stop it." Porsche grabbed his date and pushed him back.

"His date?" Kinn let out a laugh. "Let's see if you fit his type." Kinn pushed Porsche aside and punched the guy rapidly.

Porsche was clueless. The fact that Kinn had showed up baffled him so much he had barely gathered his wits and now these men kept fighting. What was he supposed to do?

He ushered his staff to grab Menn and leave him alone with Kinn. It took them much effort but Menn was losing so he agreed to step out, stating that he'd kill Kinn someday.

Now that Kinn and Porsche were finally alone in the bar, Kinn stopped his act of rage. He looked at Porsche for a solid minute as his knees buckled under him.

He was now kneeling on the floor, in front of Porsche.

"What do you want? Why do you keep showing up in my life just to ruin it over and over again?" Porsche spat in frustration.
He could see the tears rolling down Kinn's eyes.

"Porsche. Porsche, I can't." Kinn grabbed onto the other man's legs and sobbed, burying his face in Porsche's shins.

"What the fuck is this drama? What?" Porsche tied to free himself.

"I can't live anymore!" Kinn sobbed.
"I can't live anymore, Porsche. You're living your dreams. You're so happy here, and you have a chance at finding love again. It has just hit me that I'm the fucking problem."
Kinn sobbed more.

"Kinn I-"
"No! You don't get it! I'm a monster! I saw you with that other man and all I wanted to do was to kill him. I don't understand why I keep getting in the way of your happiness when all I ever wanted was to make you happy! I loved you, Porsche. And I still do! But you were right! The break up? You were right! I was never present, I became distant and I couldn't see it. Ever since you've left me I've been trying to keep my other men free. Because every day, every moment I am reminded of how I was never there for you! How I lost you. I'm so sorry, Porsche. Please kill me instead. I'm so jealous of the guys around you. I'm so jealous of the people who get to keep you happy. I couldn't bear it anymore when I heard your name after so long from Pete's mouth. I am sorry, Porsche. I shouldn't have come."

Kinn's hands dropped to his sides. He lay down on the floor and sobbed more.

The words "I loved you" echoed in Porsche's mind. Tears welled up in his eyes. He was listening to Kinn in a daze but now he was deep in his thoughts. He never knew Kinn's perspective. He never considered it. Maybe, Kinn was just as hurt as he was. Maybe Kinn never meant to hurt him.

"Kinn?" Porsche bent down and grabbed Kinn's hand.
He helped the other man get up and then engulfed him in his arms.

Both of them sat on the floor, crying their eyes out. A series of "I'm sorrys" and "I love yous" were exchanged. Porsche explained how he was never interested in the date and how Kinn overreacted. Kinn kept apologising and assured him he would pay for the damage.

When they had calmed down a little, Kinn cupped Porsche's face into his hands.

"I missed you so fucking much."