Flawless

02

"This is my favourite." Tankhun declared, while dying his hair for the third time in the month.
Porsche was simply spending his time at the house. His hangover form the previous night weighed his chest down.
Tankhun had been holding a "Fashion Parade" at the mansion. Porsche tired his best to avoid it all but he couldn't. It was Tankhun after all.

"This is my only passion." Tankhun casually let out this phrase midway.

It raised something inside Porsche. Passion. He went down a spiral thinking of how he left his passion, his dream, to own a bar, to entertain people.

He left it all for Kinn.

And there he was. His lover. Back from business. Suddenly.

"Porsche. How have you been? I missed you so much! Look! I'm back." Kinn embraced a dazed Porsche. Tankhun came to greet his brother too whilst Porsche gathered his thoughts together.

"Kinn?"
"Yeah?"
"You're here."
"I am." Kinn held Porsche yet again, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Soon the two men were back in their bedroom. Kinn lay on the bed, snuggled up next to Porsche.
"How have you been? I missed you so much."
"I'm alright. Have been home these days. How is business?"
"It's tiring. I miss you."
"Yeah. You are the head now."
"Do you miss me, Porsche?"
"I did."

Kinn hugged him tighter. He really must've been tired because he fell asleep as soon as silence took over them.

This silence made Porsche mad. He kept thinking about things that had happened. His conversation with Yok, his realisation with Tankhun and now his lack of excitement for Kinn being back.

"How long will he stay here? Is he here just for sleep?" He questioned the sleeping figure next to him. The lack of response made him let out a deep sigh. He wiggled out of Kinn's arms and left the room.

He had quit smoking years ago. He had made a promise to Kinn to never smoke again but he couldn't help it. He borrowed a cigarette from the guard and went to the balcony.

After letting out a few puffs into the night, he was joined by his man again.

"I thought you quit smoking."
"I thought you were asleep."
"What's going on Porsche?"

He couldn't reply. He barely had words. His mind was racing with thoughts, dangerous ones, ones he couldn't let out. He dropped the half smoked cigarette, crushing it under his foot. A sigh left his mouth and he turned away from Kinn.

"Do you love me?" He asked, not making eye contact with Kinn.
"Of course I do! What's with the question?"

Porsche didn't reply. His head sunk between his arms. He felt Kinn's arms around him. But it wasn't the same. He couldn't feel the warmth. Instead he tensed up.

Kinn felt Porsche's muscles tighten under his touch. He let go.
"Why?"

Porsche froze. A sudden fear took over him. Does Kinn know? Has he realised? It's been five years maybe Kinn has learnt the art of reading Porsche effortlessly.

"What do you mean why?" He acted clueless.
Kinn's gaze pierced him. He turned back to face him. Tears had welled up in Kinn's eyes. They made his eyes glitter.

The sun was setting behind them as they stood silently in the balcony. None had the strength to say anything.

But things left unsaid would hurt more.

"I want to break up."