souls of black | fever in, fever out

chapter 125: a forest (part one)

Alex lifted his head and peered out the window at the landscape before him. Sam was right next to him in the driver's seat: both of them had mirrored sunglasses upon their faces. Despite it being the heart of winter time, the sun shone through the windshield and down onto their bodies to keep them warm from the bone dry winds outside. The road wound before them into the vast ancient forest within the very heart of the mountains.
It had already been quite the ride from the southern tail of Los Angeles to the cutoff there outside of Bishop. What better way to spend the week of Valentine's Day than five days solo together inside of a trailer they had rented from Chuck; Sam had been preparing for this trip with him since they departed on a new stint of their tour. Since Testament had toured for a solid three weeks following Sam's twenty fifth birthday, and then they were to start up again come the final week of the month, Alex had made himself clear to her that he wanted nothing more to do than relax amongst some thousand year old trees out in the desert; they had left San Pedro on Tuesday, two days after they had returned and then the two of them spent the first night together in that trailer, right on the outskirts of Bishop. Come the first rays of the morning, Sam had climbed out first and started up the car: it wasn't until she began rolling when Alex woke up and pounded on the little window to stop her, much to her amusement.
He shook his head at that but she swore she only did to tease him.
"So these are some of the oldest trees in the continental United States," he remarked as the road rose higher into the White Mountains.
"In the world," she corrected him.
All the while, since her birthday, and since Scarlett finally got back in touch with her for a genuine art gig in New York City, she had been rocking a brand new haircut with her bangs in feathery fashion about her brow and with faint blonde highlights around the crown of her head. When Alex first saw the highlights, he raised his eyebrows at her so she could better see the faint twinkle in his eye.
"New decade, new hair," he said with a little smirk on his face.
But as far as anyone knew, he had become her best guy friend even though the words never left either of their lips. All she knew was they had reached a point of friendship between themselves, one that she hoped would stand for a bit longer than a few years, like what happened with her and Aurora.
Alex rode next to her in the passenger seat with his arm upon the top of the car door and the top two buttons on his shirt undone despite it being cold and windy outside. Every so often, he glanced over at her and the gray sunlight reflected on the mirrored lenses; it looked as though rays shot out from his eyes. Every so often, out of the corner of Sam's eye, he actually resembled to the devil. It also didn't help matters that she spoke about all the little roads and nooks and crannies about the place.
"So many quiet places, Samantha," he noted.
"Quiet places are precious, you know," she told him.
"Quiet places to go and check out for ourselves," he said with a raise of his eyebrows. They reach the top of the crest, right before the park's entrance, which was complete with a vast view of the Owens Valley, Mount Tom, and the Sherwin grade on the other side of the valley's head.
"Amazing what you can see from another angle," he pointed out.
"Right? I've never seen Sherwin Summit like this before."
The gray light showed them just the sheer steepness of that hill from the top there. The gradual incline to the very top of the bend before it looked out to Mount Tom and the inside valley there.
Sam then returned to the parking lot before them.
"Let's go see some ancient trees," she told him as they rolled forward once again. They parked near the front gate and he took off the sunglasses and wiped off one of the lenses with the bottom hem of his shirt. They climbed out in unison, only to be met by a gust of cold dry wind from the mountains at the north of the valley below: she quickly put on her jacket and zipped up. Sam thought about the snow up in Lake Tahoe: a part of her yearned to be closer to him like that again. Indeed, he huddled closer to her with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.
"You know, seeing as we're in Bishop and everything, how 'bout tomorrow morning, you and I go and bunk up in Long Valley?" she suggested to him.
"You just wanna be in a volcanic place while things between us get volcanic," he jeered.
"This whole area is volcanic, though," she pointed out.
"Yeah, and things between you and me are volcanic, too."
"Oh, come on, you barely touched me last night."
"'Cause we were in tight quarters. It's not like we could do much anyways."
Sam frowned at him when he said that.
"Sorry—it's been hectic lately," he confessed with a shake of his head.
"Explains why you were awful quiet on the way up here. Well, that's why we're here right now, Alex."
They strode through the gate together, where they were met with those tall, knotted spindly trees, with their pointed barren branches high to the sky in petrified fashion and their pine needles as rich and earthen green as they were several thousand years ago as young trees. A thin line of them paralleled the pathway into the hills before the mountains there. Alex shivered inside of his jacket: he reached behind him for something. Sam followed his reach, right when he caught his sleeve on the branch of a low shrug on the side of the pathway there.
"Damn it," he grumbled as he tugged at the branch. Sam lingered back for him for a second: he broke free from it and he shook his jet black hair about against the winds around them. They walked together along the trail, and all the while Alex was still silent against the winds. Sam peered up at the trees, at their thick knotted branches that made her think of snakes and also Alex's spindly fingers. As smooth as glass and as heavy as the cold earth beneath them.
"Damn it!" he grumbled again; Sam turned her attention back to him as he caught his sleeve on another branch.
"God—so grumpy," she muttered.
Nothing could deny the disgruntled look on his face, from the knitted eyebrows to the snarl in his mouth. Sam pursed her lips together and lingered next to him as he broke free a second time.
"What?" he asked her, taken aback.
"Alex, look—I know you're tight and coiled up and grumpy but like—it's Valentine's Day. Let's hang out together. Let's hang out and have fun amongst these thousand year old trees."
"I keep walking closer to the bushes here," he pointed out.
"Why?"
"I dunno."
"Well, why don't we just be spontaneous?" she asked him.
"Yeah, why don't we?" he spat back at her.
She looked on at him, slightly disgusted, and then she led him towards another mouth of a pathway. Completely silent all the way up and yet he was usually so open with her.
They ambled past even more of those knobby trees: there, they became even more sparse along the trail and the pale white hillside there. Scores of those bristlecone pines dotted that hillside, such that it resembled to a quilt of sorts. The trail wound around the hill until it gently dipped down into the ravine: Sam guided him down to a small patch of clear soil underneath a tall tree with a trunk that swirled from the ground up like a torrent of unburned hellfire.
Without another moment's hesitation, Alex groaned in his throat and he took his spot there on the sands and unzipped his jacket. He lay it down on the sand and lay down flat on his back before Sam could do anything more. She watched him take his spot there before she sank down right next to him there on the sand. Before she could say anything, he closed his eyes. She frowned at him again as he lay there in silence.
She then reached forward and nudged a stray piece of hair out from his face, to which he swatted her hand out of the way.
"Alex!" she snapped.
"What?" he scoffed.
"What the hell is your problem?" she demanded.
He snarled his upper lip in disgust but he never replied. She rolled her eyes at that.
"You need to loosen up. I'm trying to help you relax and you're not doing it." She fumed at him. "You know, before we left my mom's house, and you were watching that Miles Davis concert, you had this twinkle in your eye. When you saw my highlights, your face just lit up so bright. Where is that spark? Where is that little man I met a few years back who had such a glimmer in his eye and a zest for things? Where is he?"
He rolled his head back into the palms of his hands and he gazed up at the vast bright blue sky overhead, at the few clouds which formed near the summit of the White Mountains: even more had formed near the top of Mount Tom on the other side of their hill, which meant the storm was coming soon.
"I don't know," he confessed in a low voice. Sam thought about the times he had a few too many to drink and even though he was tipsy, he let loose those times. He seemed to have a veil over his deep eyes, one that she hadn't seen in the last five years she knew him. An emptiness of sorts.
Something was wrong.
This wasn't the young boy she first saw onstage that night in L'Amour. This wasn't the Alex she had gotten to know over the past two years. This Alex had an all too stern look on his face. This Alex smiled all of twice the whole day. This Alex just lay there with his gaze fixated on the sky overhead and he didn't seem to be lost in his own thoughts, either.
"Alex," Sam started again, that time in a low voice, "is everything okay?"
He sighed through his nose and hesitated for a second before he took a glimpse over at her.
"I think I'm burnt out," he confessed. "All the strenuous touring and doing shit all... it gets repetitive after a while. I have no idea how Anthrax and Metallica manage, but it's starting to bug me in a way."
"You know, if you guys don't finish this album and you don't get on Clash of the Titans, it's alright," she assured him, even though a part of her said that it most definitely would not be alright.
"Nah, it's not so much that—because it's something Eric has really been jonesing for, and I wanna see his wish come true—it's something else. It's more the tight schedules, the strict deadlines, and the very small margin for error. I mean, you saw me come up with those riffs for the titular tracks. I struggled with them a bit."
"Yeah, you did!" she recalled, and Alex sighed through his nose again.
"And you know, I thought being in a rock and roll band would be fun—and it is, too, don't get me wrong." He raised his eyebrows which softened his face a bit. "But I feel like there's more we could do with it, though. There's more to Testament than anyone believes and I want to see us go further with it." He knitted his eyebrows together and returned his gaze to her. "You know?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it's like changing up art styles or media or whichever."
"Right! But the thing is I don't really see our label letting up and cutting us slack any time soon, though. Practice What You Preach did unbelievably well—like it genuinely surprised me how well that record did. When Chuck told me about it, I was like 'really? Us? Little Testament?' and he goes, 'yeah! We actually charted with that thing!' So now the pressure's on."
"I mean, I just think of when the video for 'The Ballad' came out last year," Sam recalled as she leaned back on her hands and lingered right next to him. "It always came on after Michael Jackson for some reason, believe it or not."
"I'll believe it," he told her as he shook his head a bit upon his palms, "Mr. Shelley did a damn good job on that thing. But now, like I said, the pressure's on. We've gotta do as well as or better than Practice and then they'll let up on us. But—I dunno, though, Samantha. I feel the well running dry for me already."
He turned his attention back to her.
"I like being a creative person," he confessed, "and if you stifle creativity, it will die."
"I have hope that you boys will knock it out of the park, to be honest," Sam assured him, "Souls of Black is a ferocious, formidable name and it's a little bit sexy, too. The label ought to see that as something."
"But it's a matter of courage to me, though," he pointed out. "My fear is that we're going to rush the absolute hell out of it."
"Well, like I said, Alex, if you don't make it in time to Clash of the Titans, it's okay."
He hoisted himself up onto his elbows for a better look into her face.
"Be fearless with it," she told him with a shake of her head. "If you have to rush it, at least be fearless with it. Be fearless in your fear. That's the best way I can describe it."
"Be fearless with it—of course! But again, there's the label watching over us like we're under a microscope."
"Even microscopes can miss things," she pointed out, "especially if courage is involved."
"Hey, at least you had the courage to change up your hair," he noted. "I like the kiss of blonde on you, by the way."
"Something for a new decade, you know?"
"Think I should change my look?" he asked her.
"You know what, should go nuts with the ginger snaps," she told him, "just gain like—thirty pounds or something like that."
"Ginger snaps and something creamy and thick—you know to balance it out. 'Cause you eat nothing but ginger snaps you do more than just gain thirty pounds. You probably lose a foot in the process."
"Like milk and cookies?" she giggled, and she gave her hair a toss back.
"Like milk and cookies, right!" He laughed at that, and then he smiled at her, that sweet thoughtful little smile. "Thank you, Samantha. I needed this. I needed to vent to someone and in a place as amazing as this."
"Like you, I'm just doing what I can, Alex."
She scanned his helmet of inky black hair, as well as the little plume of gray over his forehead, now the size of a baby carrot.
"I don't want you cutting your hair, though," she confessed. "You have the best face for long beautiful hair. Like the guy from Soundgarden—uh, Chris."
"Oh, him? Oh, yeah, he totally rocks the long hair."
"I want you to have long beautiful hair for life," she told him. "You'd look even more gorgeous with it as an older man. Long beautiful hair and a big beautiful belly."
She sank down next to him and she put her arm around his slender waist. She cocked out her hip a bit as she rolled over onto her side.
"You're gonna be so gorgeous," she whispered to him as she put her lips onto his. She set her hand right on his shoulder and he groaned in his throat.
"I'm not gorgeous right now?" he whispered to her in between caresses.
"You're gonna be even more gorgeous," she whispered back to him as she slid her hand down his chest and back onto his stomach. She brought her hand back up to his collar bones and she undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt, one by one. She opened his shirt which in turn exposed his body to the cool desert mountain air. A wave of goosebumps crossed his skin and he started to breathe heavy from the feeling within him.
Sam slithered her tongue into his mouth, right between his teeth and inside of there. Even though it hadn't been very long so to speak, it felt as though it had been an eternity since she last tasted him.
To think Joey was completely oblivious to it all as well.
She pulled back for a look into those deep eyes and into that round face, still round and slightly full despite his having lost a great deal of weight since he entered his twenties. They were there amongst the ancient bristlecone pines.
No one else there but them, but she knew that if they went a little further than that, therein lay a certain danger with it all. No one could hear her or him, but then again, if something happened to them, no one would know they were there.
The same thing would happen if they went up the road to Tom's Place. Then again, she thought about him filling up on that fresh cobbler. Something so sweet about that very thought, the thought of Alex indulging on a big slice of cobbler was rather sweet to her.
Sweet and a little bit sexy.
She had a bit of money on her after all: she could spoil him the whole long weekend there on the quiet side of California. A slice of cobbler and she could have him a little bit looser than she could do for him right there underneath that thousand year old pine tree as it stood strong and high to the cold sky overhead.
She reached down and undid his jeans so she could see a little more skin on his belly.
That part of his body in particular, that little sliver of skin between his belly button and the top of his underwear, was extra decadent to her. If anything, that was the most vulnerable part of his skin: right underneath his belly button and only a few inches from his genitals.
The softest pieces of skin she could think of, more than the length between his thighs.
"God, what a beautiful body," she breathed out, and she leaned down closer to that little stripe of skin there. All the times she had heard that sentiment, from the woman on the train to the cashier in the bakery, and each time she had a hard time feeling it for herself. But with her finger tips upon his smooth tender skin, she could genuinely feel it, especially when he tilted his head back a bit and showed her his throat.
Another gust of cold dry wind sent a shiver down her spine: that did something for her. She put her lips on that silky piece of skin. A part of her wanted to leave a vampire bite there for him, but that bit of skin was so precious, like the finest silk she could find anywhere.
A caress of her lips and he returned the favor with a soft pleased groan in his throat. She thought of him being so full of cobbler. To kiss him there at that point.
"Let's make it sexy," he breathed out. "The new album is gonna be sexy all for you, Mama."
"Mama," she echoed him in between little kisses.
"Big Mama," he croaked out.
She gently ran her fingers down his waist to his hipbone. A mere inch away from his genitals and yet she wanted him to feel sexier higher up. Right through his stomach.
Another kiss there, right underneath his belly button, and she crawled up to his face for a better look into his eyes and the delirious expression plastered across his face.
"Come on—let's relish in these trees some more," she encouraged him, "and then we can probably have some fun in the trailer."
"A little fun in the trailer? There's hardly any room in there, though."
"We can still be all lovey and sensual, though," she pointed out as she nudged a lock of hair from the side of his neck.
"You have really smooth skin, too," she told him, "it's like glass. You are just—you're so gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful, baby."
He raised his eyebrows at her when the final word left her lips.
"What?" she asked him in a gentle voice.
"What was that last thing you said?"
"Absolutely beautiful."
"No, what was that last thing you said after 'beautiful'. I heard something there."
"Baby."
"I thought that's what it was." He showed her a mischievous little smile.
"'Cause you're soft and delicate and in need of protection like a baby." She put her lips onto his, such that it felt like kissing a pair of plump ripe cherries. Her hands rested on his stomach for a bit more feeling.
"I want to take care of you and nourish you," she confessed to him as she pushed herself up and loomed over his body. Her blonde highlights hung down to his chest and his neck: she peered down at his thighs right underneath her own. His body was precious to her.
She climbed off of him and then she helped him up. Once he slipped his jacket back on and zipped his pants back up, they returned to the trail: she put her arm around the middle of his back and held him closer to her to keep him warm. She also wanted to feel his softness some more as they walked amongst the thousand year old trees. Even through his jacket, she could feel him. She could feel him even once they rounded the gentle curve in the trail, where they were met with even more knobby barren trees and sparse vegetation on the hillside.
They reached a singular stray tree with a tightly coiled trunk right there on the side of the trail when he stopped right in his tracks.
The thick swirled trunk hid them from prying eyes on the other side of the ravine; he clasped his hands to either side of her face but he never kissed her.
"What?" she asked him in a hushed voice.
"Make love to me," he begged from her. "Please—make love to me, Samantha."
She gazed into his full face, into those parted cherry lips as they loomed right before her. She took a glimpse down at his body. She need not look any further at him to know that he wanted it.
"You're not getting it," she teased him with a shake of his head.
"But I want it—and I want you!"
She gripped onto the crotch of his jeans and she fondled him with only her thumb and her index finger. He pinched his eyes shut at the feeling between his legs. She never went any further for him, but she kept her face right before his for another full minute before she let go of him.
"You're not getting it," she teased him a second time. She ducked out from underneath him and he followed after her down the trail to the next round of trees on the hillside.
Five thousand years and all the trees still stood strong and high as if they were still seedlings. Five thousand years and she wondered if Alex had the soul of one of these trees. To return to the trees, and to return as one of those trees with their gnarled branches and stark trunks that swirled up from the earth. They resembled to whirlwinds in a way, especially when she thought of Alex as he lingered right next to her every step of the way: his thoughts were a whirled mess themselves and yet she wanted to push him. To uncover more of what lay underneath those deep eyes and then twirl him around like those ancient tree trunks.
In the meantime, the sun followed them all around the park until they doubled back to the parking lot to the car. When she sank back into the driver's seat, she took another glimpse over at him as he peeled off his jacket and put his sunglasses back on. His face was flushed and at some point prior to climbing inside, he had run his fingers through his hair and disheveled it to the point it hung loose all around his head.
"Are you alright?" she asked him, to which he let out a long low whistle and propped the side of his head up in nothing more than his fingers.
"Alex."
"Huh?" He raised his eyebrows and turned his head to her.
"Are you alright?" she asked him again.
"I—I dunno," he sputtered.
"You don't know?"
"No."
"You don't know how you feel?"
"I do, I just don't really wanna share, though."
"Why not?"
"I just don't, Samantha."
She nibbled on her bottom lip as she fired up the car again. As she lifted the parking lever, his lanky fingers caressed over the back of her hand.
"Alex—Alex, what're you doing?"
He never replied, but she lifted the parking brake and then she backed out of that spot. He never let go of her hand as she brought the car back into drive.
"Alex."
"Samantha."
"I want your tummy full and your hair even fuller," she told him in a hushed voice.
"My hair?" To which he lifted his hand from her own.
"Yes," she replied, "and I want your tummy full, too."
"I swear, you must have like a big belly fetish or some shit," he quipped.
"You're a boy who likes to eat," she said. "All five of you are, actually. And you know what they say about feeding someone you kinda have a liking for."
He turned his attention back to her.
"What do they say?"
She never replied. He was a big boy: he could figure it out for himself. He could find his way out of the forest himself.
She brought them back down the road and back into Bishop with the trailer still in place right behind them. All the while, he was sat there in baffled silence. It wasn't until she brought them to the bakery in the heart of town when he finally spoke again.
"Really, Samantha, what do they say?"
She led him out of the car and they ambled into the warm bakery together, where they were met with that lush aroma of freshly baked bread.
"Would you like your milk and cookies, big boy?" she teased right into his ear.
"Was I good, though?"
"Depends," she said with a shrug of her shoulders, and she ducked away from him and down the bread aisle towards the cookies. Every step of the way, she swung her hips a bit more. She reached the end when he caught up to her with a frazzled look on his face.
"What's the matter?" she giggled at him.
"Swing your caboose at me one more time and I just might block you, too," he warned her with a straight face.
"How so?" she retorted as she folded her arms across her chest. He nibbled on his bottom lip and glanced about him.
"How so, Alejandro?" she repeated.
"I swear, every time you call me Alejandro, I feel a need to play some salsa," he said in a single breath.
"You just said that 'cause there's actually some salsa right there next to you."
To which he took a jar of fresh salsa off of the shelf and showed it to her as if he was modeling.
"Fresh black beans, coriander, black corn, and rice for the tummy," he quipped, still with a straight face.
"That reminds me," she began again.
"What's that?"
"You did bring your acoustic with you, didn't you?" she smartly asked him, to which he froze. "You brought your acoustic—right?"
He peered over his shoulder and then he ducked away from her and all the way back to the front door. All the while, she kept her eye on the small of his back. All this time, it had been rather difficult for her, but she kept her eyes fixated right on the backs of his thighs right before he slipped out of there.
Not only did he need a loosening up of sorts, but she did, too.
Sam returned to the shelves before her when she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. His long wavy inky black hair spread down over the side of his face closest to her, but she knew the round shape of his face even by a mere glimpse at him. He fixed the lapels of his dark royal blue sweater and then he looked in her direction.
"Hey!"
"Oh, hi, Eric!" she greeted him, and she strode on over to him and he put his arms around her. "What're you doing here?"
"Just came up here to see what all the fuss is about," he confessed with a thoughtful little smile on his round face.
"About the bakery or—"
"Owens Valley!"
"Oh, you're in for a treat. Alex and I just came down from the ancient bristlecone pine forest. It's just—it's utterly stunning up there."
"We have that date together, remember?" he pointed out in a low voice and with a wag of his finger.
"How could I forget?"
"By the way—" He gestured to the crown of her head. "I like you with blonde hair."
Alex then bowed back into the bakery with his one hand clenched into a fist and his mirrored sunglasses in the other.
"Oh, hey, there's Alex right now," Eric greeted him as Alex tucked his sunglasses into the collar of his shirt.
"Oh, hey, man—what's poppin'?"
"Just came to see what all the fuss is about here in Owens Valley," he repeated verbatim.
Sam and Alex glanced at one another.
"Louie must've told him," he muttered under his breath.
"More than likely, yeah," she replied with a nod of her head.
They returned to Eric, who raised his eyebrows at them.
"Where are you stayin' at?" Alex asked him with a nod of his head.
"I'm staying on the other side of town—right by that big red horse statue," Eric replied in a single breath.
"Aw, you don't wanna stay over there," she advised him. "That's kind of a dumpy hotel."
"You guys have Chuck's trailer, don't you?" he asked her and he gave his wavy hair a slight toss back with a flick of his head: Sam eyed the interior of his throat.
"Yeah, we do. And he and I are gonna be staying in it tonight."
"There's not a lot of room, though," Alex joined in.
"Well, Alex," Sam added with a raise of an eyebrow at her, "I don't really like the idea of Eric staying in a piece of crap hotel, though. It's not even our trailer, either."
"I'm sure there's room for one more in there," Eric said as the baker behind the counter approached the three of them.
"I think there is," Sam assured him, and she turned to Alex. "Two against one, Alex. What do you say?"
"I think we need some salsa," he told her as he showed her the container of black bean salsa to her once again.
"Sounds good by me."
She bought the salsa as well as a pair of ginger snaps for him and a sugar cookie for herself. Eric lingered back on the promise that he would return with his things from the hotel, which in turn gave Sam and Alex extra time to spend together.