The Girl In The Dollhouse

Part 6

I'm not entirely sure if the day Jelissa truthfully injured me was the same day she overheard that conversation or not. But, this is how the first time she did hurt me really bad went.

It was the same year. And I wanted to sleep in a little longer, as I was up all night having flashbacks the night before, though I didn't know what that was called yet.

I don't remember the events that took place leading up to the abuse. What I do know is that she pushed me off my bed, onto the floor, whipped me with a belt, grabbed me by my throat, my voice box, so I couldn't scream, and twisted it. She dug her nails into my skin on my neck. And I cried so hard that day, and was shaking so badly.

Looking back I know for a fact I told the school about it. But I don't think Child Services got involved until later on, and despite the agent showing up, the cases always got closed and considered no findings, because despite the reports, the bruises and scars would be gone by the time investigators got there.

Let's rewind, though, to the very day I realized CPS existed. It was back in Manheim when my dad was still single. I again don't remember what I did, but I know 10 year old me didn't deserve what I'm about to tell you...

My father ripped off the closet door in rage, one of the folding sliding doors. And hit me, hard, with it. I had a giant bruises on my hand by the time I went to school.

I went to the nurse, and asked for ice. When she asked what happened, I told her "oh, nothing. My dad got mad and hit me with the closet door."

That evening, child services came to the house. That was the first case ever opened in my life. It was, like the many to follow, unfounded and closed.

As I got older, my body started changing and boys started taking more interest in me. But I wanted nothing to do with them, until I got to high school.

In 2017, after hurricane Irma happened, I hooked up with this one guy, it was an online relationship. We never even met in person. I told him I liked him. I wanted him to give me all the attention he gave his ex, Storm. I'm gonna call him Ivan.

Ivan knew this one guy, Evan. Evan and I started talking. I reconnected with Evan, after not seeing him for a while. Ivan was Mentally abusive. I met this other guy Collin around the time I was online dating Ivan. Collin and I were on the phone one night. When Ivan asked me over text for body pictures. I sent them, after I got off the phone with Collin.

My parents found out about this, and not only did they take my phone away that I wasn't even allowed to have, since we lived back in Manheim for the summer and were staying at Jelissas mothers house. My father forbid me from seeing Ivan or talking to him.

Jelissa came into the room i was staying in, and hurt me. I overdosed on Adderall that night. Not my own. I took it from Jelissas younger sister's bottle. There's a moment right after you injure yourself, that you regret the decision to do just that... and when that moment hit me, where my head was spinning and I lay there on the floor unable to move, I remembered my mother, and how upset she would be if she never reconnected with me. She didn't even know we were in the same state right at this moment, and I was taking away the life we carried for nine months.

I survived. My body forced me to vomit, as Adderall is designed that you cannot end your life by taking it... and I vowed from then on I wouldn't let anyone else make me feel that way...

But Jelissa did. I lay in bed, sick for two days. My roommates, Jelissas younger sisters, came in and out of the room and only one of them bothered to make sure I was breathing...

I cut my wrists, just enough to bleed and not severely hurt myself. I was vomiting and for every time I vomited, I left another cut... and it was like this until my father and Jelissa took Me, My siblings, and the now four step siblings, back down to Florida. To live in the same house we just moved from.