Unfortunately. (S4S)

sorry's ..

LAY POV

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Binky just came back from making money. I didn't hear when she came since I was sleeping.

"Lay" Binky tapped my shoulder and I groaned "hm?"

"Somebody calling you, they been blowing you up since I came in"

I rolled over picking up my phone seeing that it was a unknown

I put my phone on do not disturb and began to fall back asleep

"Lay"

I mentally smacked my teeth

"Hm"

"I think you should answer that"

"Why?"

"Because..  it's Z"

"What?" I instantly gazed over to Binky

"I think y'all should talk forreal"

"Hell nah, you seen what the fuck she did. You even said I'll be a dumby to go back"

"Lay I know you love Z. I don't know if you remember, but the other night when we was drinking you got drunk and was talking about Z, you told me how much you love her"

"Nah man, I was just too drunk"

"A drunk men speak sober thoughts"

"Man, Binky nah. I moved on."

"Lay, I think she understands that what she did was wrong. I could tell she really loves you. You been there for her when she was shot, by her side the whole time. Just talk to her Lay. If she don't show you different then it's fuck her. But just try and give it a go.

"I'll think about it" was all I said before I rolled back over. It's not that I don't love Z. But I was doing good without her. I don't think wanna experience all that gang shit anymore. I'm cool with my life right now.

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                        Few months later

Recently, Binky saved enough money to moved into a house. Of course she wanted me to go with her but I needed to get my life back in order so I moved in with my auntie until I do.

Me and Binky both decided that it was best that we remain nothing but friends, we didn't want any complications with our friendship. Binky gotta girl now too and it's nothing but respect for the both of them.

Z and Glo haven't even been on my mind really. Z text me from time to time apologizing about everything but I never respond, I'm moving forward with my life.

This whole experience thing taught me so much. Trust. Love. Respect ... Trust no one. Love yourself better then you ever could love anyone else and respect your boundaries.

And I been standing on all three.

I been working a lot tryna stack my money for a house. Currently, I'm at work and she just had to walk in...

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Z POV

Walked into this new coffee shop everybody's been talking about it, just wanting to see what the hype was about.

As I walked in I instantly locked eyes with Lay. Does she work here?

I started regretting my decision on coming here, wondering if I should just leave but I still owe Lay an apology so instead of me backing down I decided to speak up

As I walked closer to where Lay was standing she rolled her eyes "you following me now?"

"Nah. I was just coming for some coffee, I didn't even know you worked here"

Lay smacked her teeth "what do you want?"

Before I came in, I wanted a coffee. But now I just want Lay. I want her to experience a life with me.

"Lay ... can we talk?"

Lay quickly declined "No, I'm working"

"Let me talk to you when you get off. I'll pick you up"

"No I'm good. There's nothing to talk about"

I sadden a little knowing that Lay has probably completely moved on.. she don't even wanna speak to me..

Not gone lie, That hurt me.

I know that what I did wasn't right, I knew that after Binky said the number on Lay's cup was meant for me, she was right. I was just stupid enough to believe my own lie. I was wrong for not accepting the truth.. I let Glo get in my head about a lot of shit, that's why I been real distant from her. Binky chatted with me a few months ago. Of course she was mad at me and the way I treated Lay. She made me realize how bad of a girl friend I was...

After we had our little talk, she told me that I should apologize to Lay and I agreed. But I called and texted Lay so many times and got no response. That's when Binky told me that she don't think that Lay wanna speak to me. She told me that I should just leave her be. I didn't want to. Everyday I thought about Lay and how's she's been. And an apology as been on my chest for so long. I need this. I need her to understand how sorry I am.

"Lay, please.."

Lay rolled her eyes before giving in "I get off at 8. Be here on time or ima leave"

I nodded my head before walking out. Ian even want the drink no more. Why did I have to come here..

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I looked at the time and it was currently 7:55. I waited outside until Lay finally came out. Lay noticed my car then got in.

When she did get in, it was quiet. A awkward quiet

"Z, if you don't start speaking ima just go"

The thing is... I couldn't speak. I felt so guilty. The words I wanted to speak didn't want to be let out

It was quiet again until I heard Lay grab the handle on the door and I hesitantly spoke

"Lay don't go.. . I- I'm sorry"

Lay gave me this blank look as if she didn't care about my apology

"Sorry? Sorry not gone hold it."

I sighed before speaking "Lay, I know it's not and I honestly don't know what can. But I'm truly sorry for everything I put you through... your life changed because of me. And when I say changed I mean in every bad way possible. You got kidnapped because of me, you almost died because of me.. and you left me, because of me. I have wronged you in so many ways. I love you forreal Lay. I never loved ANY girl as much as I love you. I know me being sorry isn't gonna make anything change because I fucked everything up. Big time. I understand if youn wanna see me no more. Just let me know and I'll let you move on with your life...

Lay closed her eyes before letting out a deep sigh

".... Z, you hurt me forreal. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you. My life isn't the same. IM not the same. Being with you showed me a whole other side of life. A side that I never wanted to see... I mean, we had good moments. I loved our good moments. You loved me so good....

     It's the bad moments that got me.. Our bad moments showed me that all the good moments we had didn't matter. We're too different from each other.. I think it's best if we both move on.

I felt my eyes watering but I held back my tears

"I understand"

In fact I didn't understand. I didn't understand how I could love someone as much as I loved Lay. I didn't understand why she couldn't forgive me. But, I love her so much that'll I'll let her move forward with her life. She deserve better, and if better isn't with me then I pray she find it with someone else.