Seeking Gaston Lynx Esquivel

Chapter 30

"I'm sorry...if I made you uncomfortable." I slowly said as I avoided her gaze.

I have probably gone overboard with my statements. And I do not want to definitely pressure her about something she can't decide yet.

But you just talked about your future, Gaston. Of course, she'll get pressured!

I wanna punch myself so badly for my statements. Fuck!

Then I heard her slowly chuckling. I looked at her and she suddenly looked so vulnerable in my eyes.

"I-I'm still a mess, Gaston. I'm sorry…" Her eyes went misty and I just wanna kill myself now.

"But I'm glad...that you're thinking of your future right now...with me." She bit her lower lip then smiled slightly at me.

"I'm sorry...but I'm still gonna love you even if you are the messiest person right now. Walang magbabago." My voice broke at the end.

"And...I'll keep waiting for you...and don't feel bad about it. 'Cause you are worth every second of it. And you are worth more than you think." I whispered to her lovingly.

She gasped and I can't help but chuckle at her reaction.

Para ulit akong naginhawaan sa pag-uusap namin. She still has her own issues and I just want her to know that she shouldn't feel bad about me, waiting for her.  She is worthy. More than what she thinks of herself.

And even sometimes, I felt like I don't deserve her kindness and gentleness. Like I am not deserving of the attention and chance she has given me, sobrang taas niya at pakiramdam ko ang hirap hirap niyang maabot.

She is so simple and yet it is so hard to reach her world. Her words and attention are so expensive I couldn't almost afford it, and here I am trying so hard just to get a glimpse of her life. But I love all of it, including her flaws and she won't be the same without it.

We ended our dinner peacefully. We both washed the dishes and still, she meticulously checked it after.

Afterwhich, pinauwi na niya ako. I didn't protest 'cause I know she needs some rest too.

We both became busy for the week kahit na unang linggo pa lang namin. Pauline continued visiting our room and I did my very best to avoid her.

We were again back as interns for fridays kaya naman balik kami pareho sa office ni Mrs. Ramirez. She packed me my own lunch and I can't help but be amazed by her own work with my food.

"Come on, Gaston. Eat it."

I looked at it and I just feel so guilty ruining the design.

"Kung hindi ka pa kakakain, hindi na kita gagawan sa susunod na biyernes." She threatened and I quickly took my spoon and took a bite.

She cooked adobo for me and she had all the garnishes on the side, and she presented it so beautifully.

"This is delicious but I still feel guilty ruining it." I lamented.

"Uh huh, finish your food."

We had our dates on weekends and both had our study sessions. I also started to fetch her from work, kahit na tutol pa rin siya.

I looked at my clock at malapit ng mag alas diyes. I looked in front and then someone called me instead.

Peter callled me and she was with her sister. Napaayos ako ng tayo mula sa pagkakahilig sa sasakyan ko ng tuluyan silang makalapit sa akin.

"Oh! You're here for Ada?" He enthusiastically asked.

I smiled at him. "Yeah, she'll be out any minute from now." Hindi ko na tinapunan ng tingin ang kapatid niya.