McMistress-Addison Montgomery

deny, deny, deny...

A/N

sorry i've been MIA i've had some stuff going on but i'm happy to be writing again. next part will be longer i swear!!! hope you enjoy

-J

The key to surviving a surgical residency is to deny, as Peyton had learned...

Deny that you're tired, deny that you're scared, and most importantly, deny that you're still in love with the woman who broke your heart. Clearly, that hadn't happened during Peyton's residency, but she was denying it, nonetheless. Peyton knowingly ignored Addison's eyes from across the bar as she sat with Derek, who was seemingly glowing.

"Meredith kissed me. She kissed me."

"Joe..." Peyton responded, clearly fatigued. "Do I look friendly to you?"

"Oh, you're a tiny little kitten of joy and love." The bartender responded satirically, earning a less than friendly look from the general surgeon.

"What? He saved my life." Joe reminded her.

"His first mistake." She muttered, taking a shot as she tried harder and harder to forget the redhead staring at her intently. "McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares."

"They call me McDreamy?" Derek chuckled at the thought.

"They call me McMistress." She retorted. The neurosurgeon on her right couldn't help but let out a snort, getting hit with a rather light punch immediately after.

"No, they do not." Derek denied, beginning to laugh uncontrollably.

"They do." Peyton confirmed. "I overheard them in the tunnel." She admitted, resting her head on his shoulder as the laughter died down.

"You're tired." Derek noted.

"Wow. No shit, Sherlock." Peyton responded blandly.

"Of fighting." He corrected himself. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I am." She finally admitted, trying to stop the tears swelling in her eyes.

"If it makes you feel any better, me and Addison are getting a divorce." Derek confirmed once and for all.

"I know." Peyton muttered weakly. "But, just as I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of being hurt."

XXX

So, Peyton did what she did best...denied

"I want everyone focused today." Peyton told Bailey's interns as she and the resident led the eager puppy dogs through the hospital.

"With Cristina out, we're short an intern, and I have a feeling it's gonna be one of those days." Bailey expanded on the attending's miniscule statement. "And Karev, see the Chief by the end of the day."

"What for?"

"Does she look psychic to you?" Peyton questioned the young intern rhetorically. "He's the chief. He asks, you go."

XXX

When Peyton denied, she lived in her own little bubble, one that could be easily popped.

Peyton found herself staring disdainfully at the crowd of nurses that had gathered around the patient's bedside. "I'm sorry, did I miss the bell for social hour?" The group sundered, leaving the patient, the attending, the resident, and the interns left in her room.

"Tales of missionary life." The patient explained.

"You're a missionary?" Izzie questioned.

"No, my parents. We traveled a lot. They still do." She corrected.

"Oh, wow, this stuff is great." Izzie's demeanor earned her glares from both the resident and the attending. She noticed, moving on to the more urgent topic quickly. "Um, this is Doctor Burke's patient, Kalpana Vera."

"Kalpana." She corrected the pronunciation. "Named by villagers in Nepal."

"Uh, she presents with multiple syncopal episodes and ventricular arrhythmia."

"So you've been passing out?" Bailey dumbed down for the patient herself.

"Yeah, and having palpitations."

"Past medical history of rheumatic heart disease with mitral valve stenosis." Izzie read off of a small notepad.

"They had to ship me from Zambia to the states for three months of treatment when I was eight. Rheumatic fever almost killed me."

Bailey glanced over at the over-excited intern. "Doctor Stevens, what are the primary causes of ventricular arrhythmias?"

"Um..." Izzie fumbled through her notes, struggling as she looked for the answer she needed.

A voice came from the doorway, taking the entire room by surprise. "Valvular disease, mitral valve prolapse, stimulants, drugs, and metabolic abnormalities." Cristina inhaled deeply, relying on her IV pole for support. Members of the group each gave their own distinct look towards the intern- who was supposed to be resting. "What?"

"Out." Bailey sternly commanded.

"I'm fine."

"Out."

Cristina stayed put, silently begging for one of her friends to stick up for her. "You heard her. Out." Peyton repeated. "And you better be in your room by the time we round on you."

"And when will that be?"

"In 15 seconds."

Defeated, Cristina turned around, revealing her open hospital gown, leaving her backside completely visible to everyone else in the room.

Alex chuckled. "Nice panties, Yang."

Cristina brushed her hospital gown over her underwear. "In your dreams, Evil Spawn." Past Cristina, standing at the nurses station, was the person Peyton seemed to be struggling to avoid, the one who instantly popped her bubble.

XXX

Exhausted once again, Peyton went to the only place she felt she could rest...

Literally. Somewhere in Peyton's mind led her straight to an on-call room. Shocking to her, since she'd avoided the infamous rooms since she'd arrived at Seattle Grace.

"Oh-I'm-I'm sorry." A rather flustered Bailey stuttered, standing in front of Peyton's bed. "I just wanted to keep you updated on the rounds."

"It's okay, Bailey." Peyton groaned, sitting up and accepting the case files from her resident.

"If-if you don't mind me asking, are you okay?"

Peyton gave her a faltering smile. "Just...exhausted."

XXX

So, that night, Peyton found herself in the place she best knew to deny...

"Did you hear the news?" Meredith questioned as she sat her drink down next to Peyton's before taking a seat herself.

"What news?" Peyton held up her empty glass to Joe, signaling the bartender to fill her up again.

"The Shepherds are no more. Divorce papers are officially signed."

Peyton gave a dry, unappreciative laugh. "No chance. Who told you?"

"Derek. When he came back begging me for a second chance."

"Shit. Are you going back to him?"

Meredith scoffed. "No. Are you gonna go back to Addison?"

Peyton put her freshly filled drink up to her lips. "No. Yes. I don't know." Meredith gave her the look. "No, definitely no." She finally decided.

"There's someone here that I think wants to speak to you." Joe gestured to the door, where Addison stood, looking around for Peyton frantically. The two laid eyes on each other at the same time, and it felt like everything stopped. Peyton couldn't lie to herself anymore. She missed Addison's bright red curls that bounced around her face. She missed the way Addison left her slippers out by the bed so they were right there when she woke up in the morning. Peyton Scott was missing Addison Forbes Montgomery.