"Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles..." - Mark Twain
Assisting Spencer and Rossi in a lecture to college students seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that you're actually here, you can tell some of them don't want to be listening to this. There are others who are genuinely interested in all of this, and those are the ones you're talking to. These students have an interest in criminal justice, and in order to be accepted into certain fields of the FBI, they have to know what they're going to be signing up for.
"Most of us have done extensive post-graduate work in areas such as abnormal psychology and sociology as well as intensive study of relative casework and existing literature, but that's after selection to the unit," Spencer says.
"First you have to be an agent," Rossi says, "work in the field, and that's what we're here to talk about. For that, the academics are wide open. For everyone in this room, once you graduate and regardless of your course study, you are eligible to apply to the FBI."
The classroom doors open and an older man with white hair walks in. The dread you feel from him is enough to make you sway from shock. He doesn't even look at you as he sits in the back of the classroom to listen in on this. Something isn't right with this man, and Rossi sees your reaction to this.
He nudges you and you snap out of it enough to look at him. He asks you with his eyes if you're okay, and you give him one nod. He knows something is bothering you, but he'll ask you about it once the lecture is done.
"What did you study?" a student asks Rossi.
"Criminal Justice, but sports appreciation was all full up at my community college."
"I hold Doctorates in chemistry, mathematics, and engineering as well as BAs in psychology and sociology," Spencer smiles proudly.
"I have doctorates in Criminal Justice with a sole focus on profiling and one in Psychology," you state.
Everyone seems shocked about you two, and you think it's because of how you look. You and Spencer are very young so it's shocking to hear how many doctorates and BAs you two have gotten over the years.
"How old are you?" one student asks Spencer.
"Uh, I'm twenty-seven. Last month, I turned twenty-seven. I'm--I'm also completing an additional BA in philosophy. Which reminds me that I have a joke." Rossi looks at him in a panic because he doesn't want Spencer to embarrass himself, but Spencer dismisses him. "How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
No one answers the question which can only mean they aren't interested in it, but Spencer decides to tell it anyway.
"Two. One to change the light bulb and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness."
Not a single person laughs at his joke, but you can't help but giggle into your hand. Spencer is just too cute, and any kind of joke he makes is funny to you. Spencer looks at you and then around the room nervously.
"Um, an existentialist would--"
"Okay," Rossi cuts him off, "before he does his quantum physics knock-knock joke, do we have any other questions about opportunities in the FBI?"
"Did you ever shoot anybody?"
It's a good thing this lecture is only an hour long. College kids are easily entertained if it has to do with gore. At the end of the lecture, you, Rossi, and Spencer leave to head back to Quantico. The hallways fill with students trying to get to their next class, and you have to push past them to keep up with the group.
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Criminal Minds Series Rewrite: Season Four
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