Standing Alone.

Chapter 7 - 'I'm Sorries' and a Smoke

A/N: It's Alive! Yes, hello. I am it, and I am alive. Welcome to chapter 7. Have fun.

"Kreacher will miss Master Harry..." The elf said as they stood in the living room. "Oh Kreacher, do not worry. I will be back soon enough to say hello to you. Is there something you would like for me to bring this time around?" He asked and Kreacher smiled. "Kreacher only needs Master Harry to be happy. Kreacher likes it when master Harry thrives." Harry smiled proudly. "I see those books that I have leant you are doing wonders for your understanding of the english language."

Harry took a few books down from the shelves and put them in his bag. "Oh yes. Kreacher loves reading Master Harry's books." Harry chuckled and patted the elf on the head. "Next time I will bring you a new book then, how does that sound?"

Sirius stood in the entrance to the living room, watching his godson with furrowed brows. Harry had barely had a conversation with him and Remus the last month that they had spent in the house... And now he was leaving for Hogwarts. As he was about to leave, he heard Kreacher speak again and raised a brow; the elf spoke without being adressed, often?

"Master Harry. Kreacher has a question." Harry hummed and nodded slowly, allowing the elf to speak up, taking a quick look-over at the different books on the shelves. "Why did Master Harry ruin the throphies and awards?" Harry froze and slowly lowered his hand, looking to the elf, he sighed. "Because, Kreacher. Those trophies and awards were nothing but blood and tears. A desperate attempt to be something." Kreacher cocked his head to the side. "Kreacher doesn't understand the need to ruin the photos and awards..." Harry smiled and then squatted down to be at the same eye level as the elf, straightening the baggy old shirt. "Kreacher." He said and as he messed with the shirt, it began to repair itself, turning into a nice fitting one, with a pair of pants as well, instead of the worn old bag.

"Those people, in those pictures, were not good people. They lie, cheat, hurt and leave you." Kreacher lowered his eyes. "Like Mr. Black left young Master?" He asked and Harry nodded, smiling softly. "And how Mistress Walburga and Master Orion hurt Master Regulus and Sirius Black?" Harry gave a small nod once more. "Did Master Harry destroy the awards, because Mistress Walburga and Master Orion hurt, Master Regulus?"

Sirius froze, his eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat. "Yes, Kreacher. I broke the things because of what your old masters did to him... And I know you love your Mistress, but she was a bad, bad woman." Kreacher nodded. "Yes yes, Mistress Walburga was bad, treated Master Regulus awfully. Kreacher will miss Master Regelus and Master Harry..."

Harry brought the elf into a hug and Sirius took his leave in that moment, needing to understand what had just happened. Harry had destroyed his younger brothers old awards. Harry had destroyed the old photo's. Harry had been in the house before. He had hurt Harry... He had hurt Regulus... Oh merlin... Who else had he hurt without realising it?!

Remus found his lover, sitting on the stairs, his head in his hands as the tears trickled down his cheeks, his body shaking. "Siri?!" Remus asked in shock and quickly sat beside the man. "What is the matter?" Sirius moved his eyes to meet Remus'. "I hurt him... Oh Remus... I hurt him so bad..." Remus grew worried. "Hurt who? Sirius what are you talking about?!"

"Reggie... I hurt Reggie so bad... And Harry... Oh Remus... They were only kids... How could I think that Regulus could actually do something so vile..." Remus' face softened and he gently brought his lover into a hug.

A couple of minuted past, till Harry walked past them, they heard him stopping and backtracking. Looking at Sirius, he raised an uncaring brow. "Oh Harry." Sirius sobbed and quickly stood up, bringing the now wide eyed boy into a tight hug. Harry stared over Sirius' shoulder at Remus with a disgusted look on his face. Remus had to hold in his laughter at the sight.

"I am so sorry..." Sirius' voice was shaking. "I am so sorry..." He whispered once more and Harry's brain slowly began to catch up with the words. "What..." He choked. "I am so so sorry... I treated you horribly... You were only a boy... I should have been there for you..." Harry felt his heart squeezing tightly and he felt like he needed to throw up. "I should have held you and told you that everything would be okay... I shouldn't have left you alone..."

Remus saw Harry's face contorting to one of anger, sadness, confusion and anger again. "Sirius... You're overwhelming the boy. Let him go." Remus said softly, Sirius didn't hear him as he kept saying how sorry he was. Remus was starting to get seriously worried about how angry Harry looked. "Get the fuck off of me." Harry barked and pushed Sirius back, the man stumbled and stared at Harry with wide eyes. "You're sorry? YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY!?" He shouted and Sirius felt his heart shattering. Harry reminded Remus so much of Regulus, it was kind of scary.

"You can shove that stupid ass apology, so far up your ARSE-!"

"HARRY!" Remus cut in, his eyes widening. "Enough!"

Harry took a deep breath and turned his head away. "Master Harry..." Kreachers voice sounded and Harry looked at the elf, a soft smile decorating his face. "I'm okay Kreacher. If you ever need me, you know where I am. I'm gonna leave now." He turned to the two men and his face turned hard. Turning his face away from them, he pushed past them, walking up the stairs angrily.

"Harry! Wait!"

Sirius ran after Harry, grapping his wrist right as he was about to walk up the last flight of stairs. "I get why you're angry-" "I AM NOT ANGRY!" Harry shouted, pushing the man back. "I AM IN PAIN! AND YOU PUT ME HERE! The person who was supposed to love me more than anything..." Tears welled up in his eyes and he turned his face away, regaining his composure. "So just leave me the fuck alone..."

Staring at the spot where Harry was standing moments before, Sirius didn't react when Remus placed a hand on his shoulder.

He was only brought out of his throughts when the door downstairs slammed closed, and the house seemed to get significantly darker, the aura changing drastically. "Siri... Please..." Remus said gently and Sirius took a deep breath. "I'm fine. He's a teenager, he'll get around soon enough..."

Remus didn't have the heart to tell his lover that Harry most likely wouldn't just 'come around'.

...

"Harry!" A voice called out for him as he paced in the Kings Cross lobby. "Are you okay?" Hermione asked  softly, her parents walking up behind her. Harry glanced at her and she noticed the panic in his eyes. "Okay... Okay. Calm down, okay. Here, have a seat." She sent a stern glare to the person sitting there, and they scurried away. "Here." She guided Harry to sit, her parents taking their luggage. Harry sat down his breathing becoming eratic.

"Head between your legs. Come on." She pushed him down ever so gently placing her hands on his ears. "Deep breaths..." She got down on her knees, placing her forehead against his curly hair. "Is he okay..?" Her mother asked and Hermione glanced at her. "Yeah... Just a panic attack..." Her parents nodded and her father hurried off to find something.

When Harry finally breathed normally, he sat back up and Hermione seated herself beside him. "Are you okay now..?" Harry nodded stiffly. Hermiones father came back with some chocolate and a bottle of water. "Here... This will ease your nerves." He said with a kind smile squatting in front of the younger boy. "Wanna talk about what happened?" Hermiones mom sat down on his other side and Harry shakingly drank some of the water.

"Had a falling out with my guardian..." He muttered, breaking off a piece of the chocolate and handing it to Hermione, who smiled and took it with an inclined head. He broke off a piece for himself and ate it slowly. "Did Sirius do something..?" Hermione asked worridly. Harry lowered his eyes. "He apologized for hurting me..." Hermione's parents stiffened. "But... Isn't that a good thing..?" Hermione asked. Harry let out a hoarse laugh.

"He's only saying sorry today... Tomorrow he will be right back to hating me..." Hermione furrowed her brows. "Sirius doesn't hate you, Harry..." Harry scoffed, shaking his head. "You won't understand... But it's okay... I'm fine." Hermiones parents shared a worried look, but neither dared say anything else. Half an hour passed with them all just discussing what they had done over the summer, when Hermione slowly stood. "Come, Harry. We have a train to catch and I'm sure Luna and the others are getting worried about where you are." Hermiones mother smiled. "Is Luna a girlfriend?" Harry was getting a bit tired of that question. "No. She's Harry's best friend; they view each other as siblings." Hermione explained and Harry gave a curt nod.

"Thank you for the chocolates and water, sir." He said as they stood in front of the magical wall. "Not problem at all, kiddo." Hermione's father shook his head, chuckling softly. When the two left, Harry sighed and took out a package from his back pocket. Hermione eyes widened at the sight of it.

Harry placed a cigarette in between his lips, using a bit of magic he turned it on with a snap of his fingers. He put the pack into his pocket again and drew a relieving breath, closing his eyes. "Harry! You smoke?!" Hermione said with pure horror in her eyes. Harry blew out the smoke and nodded slowly. "Helps with my nerves." He smirked and hoisted up in his bags.

"By the way, Harry... Where's your familiar?"

Harry whistled and a small snake popped its head out from his bushy hair. "Awe, so cute." Hermione pouted and Harry nodded. They walked through the enchanted wall one at a time and laid their luggage with everyone elses. It would be put on the train for them, luckily. "MIONE! HARRY!" Someone shouted out and they both looked over there. Harry placed the cigarette between his lips once more and raised a brow at them all.

"Harry. What have I said about smoking?" Pansy huffed and tried to take it, but Harry easily snatched it between two fingers, raising it so far up into the air that not even while jumping, Pansy couldn't reach it. "My money, my lungs, my life, my choice." He said and she sighed, settling down. "You're digging yourself an early grave, mate." Blaise shook his head. "Oh you have no idea." Harry sucked in the nicotine and blew it out in Pansy's face, the girl coughing and gagging.

"I hate you..." She grumbled and Harry smirked.

"No you don't~" 

"Let's get on the train then." Luna laughed and shook her head.

A/N: Remember kids! Eat, Sleep and DRINK plenty of WATER! It is the summer, and you can get dried out like an old mummy if ya don't, wouldn't want to do that, now do we? Other than that, have fun!