Masking Emotions - Oshi No Ko

Chapter 4: The Idol

After a couple of days of going to kindergarten, Hajime and Kokoro had become good friends, they ate together, they played together, and they got to know eachother very well, actually.

"Kokoro, look! I'm Ai Hoshino!"

Exclaims Hajime, smiling brightly as he danced with the toy microphone..

"Ai.. who?"

Kokoro asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Ai Hoshino! She's the cutest idol EVER! I want to be an idol just like her, when I grow up,"

Hajime says, still smiling as he dances around with his toy microphone.

Kokoro looks a little confused at first, but she tries to act as if she's impressed.

"Wow, you really know a lot about idols, Hajime! You could definitely be one!"

She smiles softly, to see Hajime so excited about his hobbies. She feels like she can trust him -- like he's a friend she can depend on.

"Alright, children. Your parents will come for you now, so be patient!"

The teacher spoke, softly. As the children cheered.

"Okay, Miss! We'll be very patient!"

Kokoro exclaims, with a bright and cheerful attitude.

Hajime is standing right next to her, looking a little more eager to see his parents. Kokoro notices that he seems more happy to see his parents than... most of the others. She wonders why that is...

No, stop thinking about it.

"Kokoroooooo!~ Mama and papa are here!~"

Miu exclaims, loud enough to where Kokoro would hear.

Kokoro looks up, acting in her role.

"Mama? Papa? You're here already?"

She asks, in a high-pitched voice. She acts shocked to see them, as if she thought they'd come much later.

Miu puts her arm around Kokoro, holding her close.

"We're so proud of you, our little Kokoro."

She says, sounding happy and genuine.

"Bye-Bye, Ken! See you soon!"

Exclaims Kokoro, waving at Hajime before she leaves. She spots Hajime waving back with a big, bright and charming smile as she left in her parents' car... He was a good kid, Kokoro knew so.

Kokoro sits in her parents' car, looking out the window and waving goodbye to Hajime and his parents.

She hears her father say:

"Do you think she enjoyed kindergarten?"

Her mother replies:

"I think so. She really seems to be coming out of her shell. She seems so much more social and open now."

Kokoro smiles to herself. It feels good to hear her parents praising her... but it feels so wrong to do this. She is lying to her parents, lying to Hajime, and lying to herself.

The act she's putting on... It feels so... unnatural, and yet, it feels so easy for her. She is genuinely good at faking her emotions, but there's a part of her that feels uncomfortable with her own performance.

But what would happen if... She stopped? Could she even act like a normal girl? But what would the consequences be?

As she stares out the window, seeing the road zoom past her and the world pass before her eyes, she contemplates her own existence. What does she want? What does she really feel?