Checkmate

41. Half Hearts and Explanations

Back to Annie POV

With the evening turning into night, Regina ushered us all back to her home, insisting I sit on the couch the moment I walked through the door. "I'm filthy," I exclaimed, hinting at the blood and grime over me. "Could I shower instead?" She nodded and gestured up the stairs before ushering the boys and Thomas into the kitchen for dinner.

Unbothered by the thought of food, I took my time in the shower of Regina's en-suite, the other bathroom having been taken over by the boys and their products, many of them unable to share even a bottle of shampoo. With the pressure setting on medium, I stepped into the water and felt everything wash away, the dirt, the blood, my worries, and my tears as I allowed them to fall.

I cried for my losses, and I cried for my pain. I cried for the island and the natives, for the animals, and the ones that didn't make it. My chest heaved, and I was sure I would vomit when I cried for Felix, for his betrayal, sending all of us into this world. Not that anything was wrong with it, but I had begun to feel at home on the island, and most of all in the arms of the one I loved the most.

And then I thought of Peter Pan, the boy who had once been a man, the boy who tried to kill me more than once, the boy who made me his queen and taught me that life doesn't always go the way we wish it to, we just have to keep going. I remembered how he had changed after I had executed the part of the plan that had saved him, the very action that had kept him alive.

As I came to the realisation, a knock at the door alerted me to switch the shower off, my hair and body now clean thanks to Regina's various soaps and lotions. Using my magic, I reached out, sensing Thomas on the other side of the door. Quickly, I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door, releasing a torrent of steam into the bedroom.

"We thought you had fallen down the drain." He laughed gently, his eyes unable to meet mine as he gazed at the floor. "Henry is back from Neal's."

"Thomas," I asked softly, causing him to look up at me slowly, his eyes resting on my lips. "Whatever happens, or whatever is said, don't kiss me." His brows furrowed slightly, clearly hurt by my words. "I just... don't think you're ready. I know I'm not."

"I know who I am."

"You... you do?" I hesitated, wondering why he hadn't yet killed me.

"I don't know everything, just that I am him." I nodded once and gave a polite smile, hoping my relief wasn't too obvious. "And that I love you," he continued. I blinked twice and inhaled sharply, unsure of my next words. "But why can't I know?"

"You... people... want to kill you," I admitted without revealing too much. "I don't really want you to die."

"I can't die, princess," he said with a smirk, causing my stomach to drop. "Sorry."

"Don't be," I blurted. "It's okay... if you wanna call me that."

"And is it okay for me to tell you that I love you?" I opened and closed my mouth before nodding and humming. "You seem surprised that I do. Have I never said it before?"

I shook my head. "You've never really had a heart before." He visibly paled at my words, his eyes blinking rapidly as his mouth opened and closed. Wordlessly and quickly, I used my magic to dress myself, feeling the information a little too serious for me to be in only a towel. "Remember the story in class, you-"

"He gave it to the shadow—I... I gave it to the shadow."

"You gave it to Neverland."

"So, I got it back?" I bit my lip as I tried to carefully word the information waiting on my tongue, the fact a little too dark for the innocent boy before me. "I didn't get it back?" I shook my head.