Falling Apart

Tommy

Karl is such an angel. I wish I didn't have to go back to my dad in a bit. I'm so sore and already covered in bruises.

It was 2:30, I had to get going.

"Guys I have to go, sorry. Thank you for inviting me," I smiled as I tried to text my angry father back quickly.

"You can't stay any longer?" Toby asked.

"Sorry, my dad would literally murder me if I did," I laughed to cover up the fact I was serious. Karl shot me a worried glance while the others laughed it off.

"Alright, best of luck mate," Wilbur patted me on the back as I left.

"Bye!!" I ran out the door.

"Shit," I muttered. I opened my messages with my father.

Dad: where the fuck are you
Me: u said 3 I'm omw now
Dad: you're fucking mental
Me: I'm mental? Fuck no
Dad: I wish u were never born
Me: I wish I wasn't either.

I drove home stopping at every fucking red light. By the third one I rolled up my sleeve. I picked at the red lines on my wrist, opening up the wound. It bled and hurt like a bitch but it was good. I'm clearly a fucking moron, I deserve this. The light turned green so I rolled the sleeves of my hoodie down. The blood stained my sleeves but I didn't care. It's what most of my hoodies looked like anyway.

I pulled up to the house anxiously. I tried to go inside quietly so maybe I wouldn't have to deal with him but that obviously didn't work.

"You fucking worthless piece of shit," he grabbed me the second I walked in the door. The neighbors could see, I quickly shut the door the best I could.

He punched me in the eye. Knowing him he was probably trying to knock me out but missed my head because of how drunk he is.

Shit, I'm gonna have a black eye aren't I?

He pinned me against the wall by my throat. I couldn't breathe.

"I wish you were dead."

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

"P-please.. stop.." I croaked.

"You should just kill yourself. The world would be better off without you."

He let go of me. I fell to the floor, weak. He went to the kitchen and got another beer, as if he needs one.

I went up to my room when I regained some energy. I took out my blade and rolled up my sleeve. I thought I had more space, but almost my whole arm was covered. I took off my jumper and rolled up the sleeves on my short sleeve shit underneath. I started cutting near my shoulder. I watched the blood drip off my arm as I cut deeper and deeper each time. I winced at the pain but I loved it at the same time. I deserved this. I stared at myself in the mirror, blood pouring down my arm. My arms were covered in a combination of old scars, new scars, and bruises.

I hate this. Maybe I should kill myself. The world would probably benefit from it. I can't keep living like this, he's gonna kill me one day if I don't do it myself. I stared at the pill bottle on the bathroom sink. I didn't touch it, just looked. I couldn't. For Will. He needs help, I can't leave him. I opened my phone to see a message from Karl.

Karl: everything okay? Are you safe?
Me: I'm good now dw, I went up to my room after he was finished w me so I'm fine now
Karl: finished? Wdym?
Me: do yk how to do makeup
Karl: Tommy what
Me: like how to cover something with makeup
Karl: Tommy what did he do.
Me: ok I have a black eye
Me: how do I cover it tho or like I need a rly good excuse
Karl: they're not gonna believe any excuse except for u being beaten up by some stranger or smth but yk Wilbur will js track him down
Me: shit ur right
Karl: Will knows how to do makeup
Me: he does?
Karl: Niki taught him
Me: but I can't ask him cuz then he'll know
Karl: Tommy I think you should tell him
Me: I'll look up a YouTube video
Karl: Tommy he might be able to help plus u don't even have makeup he has some of Niki's

How am I supposed to tell him? It's not that I care if he knows or not, Karl knows and I don't mind. But he's got enough on his plate, he doesn't need my problems too. Nobody needs my problems. They're all just gonna worry about me if they know, that's the only reason I'm hiding it.

Karl: Tommy he can help you please. And I know he would let you stay at his place when u need
Me: I'll think about it

I feel bad lying to him anyway, he's like my brother. I texted Will.

Me: can I come over pls I need help
Will: ofc I just got home what happened? Do u need me to come get u?
Me: no I'll take my bike, I'll explain once im there
Me: sorry to do this to u
Will: it's no problem, just come over ur worrying me

I snuck out of my window and got on my bike. I bikes to Will's flat and knocked on the door. He opened it and immediately panicked.

"What happened to your eye?! Are you okay? I- come in," he closed the door behind me.

I sat down on the couch silently as he sat beside me.

"Tommy, what happened?"

I started sobbing. I didn't know what to say. I can't take it anymore. I know I'm supposed to be protecting him but I couldn't handle it.

He immediately hugged me tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder. He didn't say anything for a moment, he just let me cry. Once I calmed down a bit, he pulled away slightly.

"Tommy. Who did this to you?"

"My dad," I hesitated.

Tears filled his eyes as he hugged me again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he croaked.

"I didn't want you to worry. I wanted to protect you. You already have enough going on."

"Oh Tommy. It's not your job to protect me," he paused for a moment. "I love you so much," he sobbed.

"I love you too Will."

"I can't believe you kept this from me. You're like my little brother, I care about you so much."

"Uh- Karl said you know how to do makeup?"

"Yeah, Niki taught me. I'll teach you how to cover it, don't worry."

"Thank you Will."

"Of course. And stay with me, please. You can't go back there."

"I'll get in trouble if I don't."

"But you'll get in trouble if you do, no?"

"...yeah."

"Just stay here for now. If he tries to pull anything I'll handle it."

"Will-"

"Tommy. Im not letting you go back there unless I know you're safe."

I stayed the night.