Arabella

~ 11 ~

"I'm so sorry hon. She's gone." Dad says but I don't believe him. She can't be gone! She would never leave me!

"No! Mom would never leave me!" I yell trying to make him understand.

"She didn't leave you. She died."

I gasp when I am ripped from the memory. I hate thinking about that day. It happens at least once a week now. It used to be all the time but thankfully it's not.

I snuggle closer into my pillow. It smells so damn good. When did I get into bed? Wait a minute. I didn't. My eyes shoot open and I focus on things around me. My arms are wrapped around Xanders torso. His hand is holding my thigh and the other is still on my back. My face is pressed into the crook of his neck.

I sigh feeling like I am the safest I've ever been. I hug him tighter and I don't even mean to. I just want to be as close as possible. As soon as I tighten my arms he tightens his. His hand on my back pulls me closer even though I can't be closer. His hand on my thigh moves up. With how loose the boxers are on my thighs his hand moves up into them and onto my butt cheek.

I blush, hard.

I should move his hand but I don't want to. After a few minutes I move my head from his neck. I look around and notice it's still dark outside and we're still seated on the couch. He has his feet up on the couch but his head is bent and leaning against the back of the couch. This does not look comfortable and his neck probably will hurt in the morning.

I don't want to stop being held by him and I definitely can't carry him to a bed. I chuckle at the thought of me trying though.

I don't want his neck or back to hurt in the morning though. Maybe he'll keep holding me if I ask him to go to bed? Even if he doesn't at least he won't be as in much pain tomorrow.

I sit up fully and I feel something hard poking into my butt. My eyes widen and I clear my throat.

"Xander?" I ask quietly, I don't want to be too loud. He grunts in his sleep but doesn't wake up. I unwrap my arms from his torso. I can't help myself as I stare at his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful. Without thinking I reach my hand up and run the back of my hand over his cheek.

"Xander?" I say louder. He breaths deeply and grunts. I think he was going to ignore me but he opens his eyes. He blinks a couple times but then we lock eyes and my breath hitches.

"Are you okay?" He asks concerned. Oh gosh his voice! That plus his hands on my body I feel so darn flustered.

"Uh." I start to say but I don't know what to say. He looks at me and concern flashes over his features.

"What's wrong?" He asks. As he tries to sit up he looks down at his hand on my butt. His eyes widen and he immediately pulls both of his hands from my body. Ugh that's not what I want! "I'm sor"

He stops talking when I put my hands on his chest. My hands immediately catch on fire in the best way. I give him the best smile I can muster right now as I move my hands around his chest slowly. He leans back into the couch and just watches my hands. That's when I move my gaze from his face to his chest.

I look down and am fascinated by the tattoos there. The intricate designs are stunning. I move my fingers along them. I shift slightly and I feel something hard poking into me jump. I may be a complete virgin but I'm not dumb. Knowing that this is turning him on makes the knot in my stomach harder.

He keeps his hands off of me and I hate it. I look up and he's watching my face. Without looking away from his eyes I run my hands from his shoulders to his hands. Once there I take them and place them on my thighs.