The Story of Our Lives

Told you it could be worse

"Well this can't be good." she snapped and rolled her eyes at me. But I wasn't going to let that put me off. She was the first family member I was going to come out to. I didn't particularly want to but I felt I had to. I didn't want to hide this secret anymore.

"Please. Take a seat. This is important." I said trying too hide my shaky breath. She sat on the couch and I sat on the armchair opposite her. My heart was pounding. My hands were shaking.

"Bloody hell. What. I want to watch some tv and have a few drinks." She barked. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"Mother. I just want you to know before I say anything, please just let me get this all out." she rolled her eyes and sat back in the couch. I took another deep breath. "I also just want you to know I'm still the same person. This is something I've known for a while and have had may an inner conflict and turmoil about but I know it to be the truth." Here goes everything. "Mum. I'm gay. I like boys." she just sat in silence. The minutes seemed to go on for years. "Aren't you going to say something?" I asked. There was no tell on her face that would give me any indication as to what she was thinking. She just sat motionless and with a completely blank expression on her face. More so than usual.

"For fuck sake Damien. I know that. I've known since you were 3 years old and wouldn't stop dancing around to Cher with Dani." she said. Completely monotone. I had to conceal a smirk because dancing around to Cher with Dani was always the highlight of my childhood. "BUT." she barked. "That was a phase. You were a stupid little kid and I won't let you make that mistake. Gay is NOT okay." she sneared. My heart sank into my stomach. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FAG. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU ARE NOT MY SON." She screamed. Tears started to fill my eyes.

"But mother." I pleaded.

"NO. YOU WILL LEAVE THIS HOUSE." she yelled. "I will give you half an hour to pack." and with that she stood up and set a timer on the microwave. I ran upstairs to my room. Tears streaming down my face. I grabbed my suitcase from the top of my wardrobe and started showing as much stuff into it as I could while trying to keep everything neat to fit more stuff in. I managed to get all my clothes in the case. I just had to grab my pictures and ornaments from my dresser and my xbox and playstation. They all fit in my duffle bag along with all my games and films. This took 25 minutes. I had 5 minutes to spare so with that time. I opened my laptop and forced the log out from all of my streaming service devices so it would just be on my laptop. I mean I was the one paying for them. I put the laptop in my bag and slung it across my body and grabbed the suitcase and carried it downstairs.

"Mother?" I asked. she stared at me with furrowed brows.

"NO. I AM NOT YOUT MOTHER. I DID NOT RAISE A FAG. OUT NOW." she screamed. I must have waited at the front door a second to long because then she started launching pictures of me and her at me. Still in the frames. I was to upset to dodge them that they shattered on my face causing me to bleed.

I didn't know what to do. I knew my mother hated me but I stayed with her because I felt sorry for her after her split with my dad. Even though she treated me like absolute shit, I still loved her. After all she was my mother. I just wandered aimlessly around hoping there would be a sign that this was just a horrific dream. Nothing. The few minutes of silence after I came out felt longer than the amount of time I was walking around for because when I focused on my surroundings, it was pitch black. I checked my phone. 23:42. Fuck me. I had been out for 7 hours and hadn't noticed. I thought it had only been half an hour. I found a bench to sit on and gather my thoughts. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to ring my dad because then I'd have to explain what had happened. Meaning I'd have to come out to him as well. I wasn't ready for that. I had already lost one parent today. I wasn't prepared to lose the other in the same day. I set my suitcase and duffle bag down underneath the bench and hooked my foot in through the handles and just lay on the bench staring at the stars. I was homeless.

I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes there was a young man sitting next to me on the bench. I immediately looked down to see. If my suitcase and duffle bag was still there. Sure enough they were.

"Hey." said the stranger and he shot me a small smile. "You doing okay?" he asked politely. I just burst into a fit of tears.

"Hey hey. It's okay." he said with a voice that could soothe Satan himself and pulled me into a hug. I felt safer in this guys arms than I ever did at home. HA. Home. What home?

"I'm Adam" the boy said releasing me from the hug. I saw you walking around at about 6 pm last night with tears streaming down your face. So I followed you. A suitcase and a duffle bag in the hands of someone crying doesn't scream nice holiday to me. Talk to me. It's okay. I won't judge you."

"I'm Damien." I replied.