Ashes

-2-

Throughout the entire class I could feel him staring me. Making my skin prickle in anticipation of what could come next. But nothing happened. The entire class as Mr. Hardin spoke, his attention was on me. I hate the feeling of being on display and at this point it's annoying. I kept trying to focus on the teacher talking about the book we are going to read as a class, but in my peripheral vision I can see that he is still turned to me, watching. I wasn't sure if this was a power play to make me nervous or to piss me off. Either way, it's working. I want to turn around and flip him off or tell him to fuck off but I feel like that would just play right into this little game of his. 

Why are guys like this?

Once the bell rang, my whole body jolted from my seat and started gathering my things and headed towards the door in hopes of him not following me. I need to disappear and that's exactly what I did as the hallways flood with students trying to get to their next class.

I just have three more classes until I can head home.

Three, I can handle that. I found myself fighting in my head over hoping to see the guy again just to ask what his damn problem was to praying that I didn't, so I didn't have to bother with him anymore. His eyes were so bright and intense, not to mention he was strikingly handsome. I've never met such an arrogant asshole before and my curiosity wanted to know if he was just born that way or dropped as a baby. Once the new wears off, he won't bother with me anymore.

Then it wouldn't matter anymore.

I just have to keep my head low and blend in. I don't need friends or enemies right now, I have too much baggage to try and heal from. I'd be safe if I remained a stranger and so would he. To never have to explain anything about myself or my situation. To save myself from watching the pity and confusion flash in their face as they digest my trauma. Plus, I have Brett and he's all I need in regard to friends. My mind floods with Brett's horrid tone, "You're lucky that I haven't left you. All you do is bring everyone down!" That phrase echoes in my head the most. Maybe I just don't need anyone.

He's right though, I am burden to anyone around me. I'd rather shut down and push everyone away. It's easier that way. I have no idea why Brett hasn't left yet, he was great when we met, the perfect gentleman. Once my world was turned upside downIt was like he changed into someone so cold and uncaring. I was just a burden to him when I needed him the most. I get it though, it's a lot to have a girlfriend that lost her parents and home and to have her move almost three hours away in such a short time frame, how inconvenient that must have been for him. Maybe he hasn't left due to guilt he would have after from everyone else since so much has happened to me this year.

I lightly laugh to myself at the thought. In his friend group, I am merely tolerated because I was with Brett. His parents were nice but always looking at me like they had hidden thoughts behind their eyes, scared to tell me that they didn't approve of someone so carefree for their golden child. 

Brett never had a good relationship with his parents, his dad is very successful in the business world, and he expects Brett to follow suit and not embarrass his name. His dad has always been like that, anytime Brett has embarrassed him he had hell to pay with either a fist or labor. My parents weren't super successful, but we were comfortable and there was so much love and acceptance in our home.

It always made me sad for him, how funny that is now.

I walk into something hard in front of me forcing me out of my thoughts and to stumble backwards to find some form of stability finding none, landing me on my rear end. I look up to see a girl that's quite a bit taller than me looking down at me through her glasses, thankfully she had a friendly smile on her face, she extended her hand to help me up. I slowly took her hand and it felt like she lifted me off the ground with ease, instantly putting me on my feet with a warm smile on her face. "Thank you" Is all I can manage through my surprise. She brushes her shoulder length curly hair behind her ears to show the rest of her face. She had freckles scattered across her cheeks and big brown eyes.