Love Me, Harm Me

I (won't ever) use you

"It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to."
― Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go

.☀.🌑.☀.🌑.

Somehow he had fucked up more. Without even seeing her, hearing the evidence of her boiling frustration, Meliodas already knew that he had pissed Elizabeth Liones off to a scale way larger than that of a commando substitute teacher stuck with an unruly class of students. He didn't need to see her face. He didn't need to feel her heated glare. He didn't need to even be there. All Meliodas needed with the feeling of distance, space, between them to know that he had fucked up.

Tonight he had rejected her. Right in her face, midway through a messy makeup, Meliodas had changed his mind and backed out - aware of exactly why he did: Elizabeth wasn't thinking straight. No, she could never be thinking straight when these sorts of things happened. Blurring the lines between reality and fiction were always a specialty of hers when she was feeling down, suffering from the consequences of it the next morning. That was nothing new, nothing unexpected.

So when Meliodas has stopped her from unzipping that sparkly pink dress of hers, he knew he was doing the right thing. It was a HARD thing to do - more difficult than it should have really been - but the right thing nonetheless. Unzipping that dress wasn't what Elizabeth truly wanted; forgetting the pain was not going to replace the pain that came with escapism.

So instead he pushed her away, told her she wasn't in the right frame of mind and disappeared, poofed like smoke in the wind.

"You did the right thing," Ban had smiled at him, a large hand weighing on his already drooping shoulders. Now they were back in Vauxhall, the apartment building, trampling through the open elevator doors. Thank god that London had late-running trains and nocturnal bus routes. Otherwise, they would have ended up walking back.

"Well, I hope I did," Meliodas mumbled, not feeling right at all as his stomach still felt queasy from the look Elizabeth had given him. The intense hurt masked behind her nonchalant facade.

"You did," Ban assured him, hiccuping as he snagged Meliodas' keys. Smoothly, he pulled open the door leading to the ninth floor - right at the top. "And when she finally comes to her senses Elizabeth will thank you for it."

'Will she though?' Meliodas was burning to ask. Will Elizabeth ever forgive him, ever see through the bullshit he put her through, and appreciate it? Oh Meliodas doubted that she would even recognise the well-meaning intent hidden behind his dickhead behaviours. If anything she had always brushed the negative aspects aside, stating that he couldn't help bad habits picked up from his turbulent childhood.

But really he could. He really, really could.

"Either way I can't win," Meliodas sighed, shaking his head as Ban unlocked the front door, letting himself in as if he paid the rent. Typical on the average night out with them both. Usually Elizabeth would there, alerted by the sudden noise, frying pan in hand and charging toward them both. Tonight stark silence greeted the duo.

Already, Meliodas could feel the regret growing, "Whatever option I choose, she'll still be mad at me."

 "That's true," Ban shrugged, not even seeming like he was absorbing it all. Instead he was inching toward Elizabeth's room, intrigued by the oddly closed door. Even when she was gone for a weekend, Elizabeth always kept her door open. She'd never liked locks. "But at least you respected her, right?" His hand was on the doorknob, "And in the long term, I'm pretty sure, you two will be on good terms again. Banging on the walls kind of good terms."

"Yeah because I'll be dodging plates," Meliodas rolled his eyes, not at all amused by Ban's comment.

"Let's go with that," Ban nodded, pulling the door open. A wide grin sprouted on his face as he stepped into the room, "Now what is that crafty girl hiding in here?"

Initially it was a bundle of fluff settled within an upturned box. Tufts of fur poked out from several directions, lifting and rising every second. Then, as if the door cracking open had supplied it with energy, the bundle moved, perking up its head and scampering on clumsy legs. Within seconds the animal was rushing toward them, an awkward mix between a whine and a bark leaving its body as it crashed into Ban's lanky frame.

Ah. So that's where Elizabeth had put it - in her room.

"Oh so this is the little rascal, eh?" Ban chuckled, scooping the clumsy animal into his arms. Amusement crowned his features as Meliodas grimaced, remembering just what had landed him into this particular situation. "Causing trouble already," The scrappy pup licked at Ban's fingers as he lifted it to his level, staring the animal in the eye. He grinned, "I like him."

"Well you're free to take him," Meliodas waved him off, turning out of the room and heading to the kitchen. Even though there was a pretty big possibility of him burning the place down while trying to make a sandwich, he'd take it. Right now his mind demanded food to distract from reality.

"Really?" Ban asked, following Meliodas. Still tucked under his arm was the puppy, its tiny body wiggling as it tried to escape. "I can take it?"

"No," Meliodas responded. That was something Elizabeth would definitely not forgive him for. Plus - as much as he'd hate to admit it - he was a little happy with the idea of something being around to keep him company while she was gone. If that something was a puppy then that something was it. It was better than virtually nothing. "Now go home Ban. Isn't Elaine waiting for you or something?"

"Wow, this is the thanks I get," Ban clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he put down the tiny animal. Immediately it scampered off, perhaps to settle in the safety of its box. "No 'thanks Ban for supporting me after my dumbass decisions' or 'Hey Ban it's pretty late, cancel the Uber and just crash in Elizabeth's room'. You have changed my friend."

"Fine," Meliodas groused, already knowing that he was going to regret this decision. With the rainy mood he was currently in, Ban would be determined to try just about anything and everything to shake him out of it. "You can stay. But no raiding Elizabeth's room, she's already pissed at me."

"I promise nothing," Ban grinned, winking at his best buddy. As if on cue, right beside him, a puddle of yellow spread across the floor. Now cackling, the tall man smirked as he gave a tiny salute. "Correction, Scrappy here and I promise nothing."

"Just... stop talking," Meliodas sighed. Why was he doing this again? Oh yeah, because he had fucked up majorly and the universe just loved to remind him about it. Honestly, he deserved what just happened; cleaning up dog piss was a tiny dent compared to the punishment he should have really received.

So, with a hefty groan, Meliodas cracked out the cleaning supplies, forgot about his plans to follow up on his father and instead focused on keeping Ban and his animal companion in line. Which - even now - felt like it was going to be full time job.

Tonight was definitely going to be a long night.