Anima Mea

CHAPTER 5

Dirty.

That's how I felt, lying under the pearl white blanket, wearing lacy night dress and hearing his regural snorting. Trapped in his tanned arms I lay awake thinking, the gold watch hands striking midnight. 

Back in the Safe Centre, ironically named place where humans, children in their fourteens, were held captive before upcoming trades, I met an orphan girl, Timea: thin blonde with lively esmerald eyes and repertoire full of captivating fairytales. Deep in night, when the guards, elderly looking wolfs, fell asleep, every child, including me, gathered around her, longing for whispers of magical stories about foreign countries, legendary creatures and love: true, absolute love.

One day, the Sun still hanging high in the cloudless sky, Timea was summoned by the command of gatekeepers, next second Timea's scream was heard from afar, echoing through the loneliness of irony cells. And then, after minutes soaked by misery, loud gunshot established funeral silence. We were confused and scared, sitting on the freezing concrete, carefully listening to the sounds outside the massive metallic door and waiting. Waiting for another story to be told.

But it never came.

Timea never came back.

Later, after a few months, I learned what happened to her, overhearing a conversation between the guards, while leaning against the wall. Mateless wolf bought her in delusion of his own pleasure, forcing her to tame the beast inside his mad mind, but Timea refused to submit, to become a possession for lonely wolf and in the act of fighting for herself, lost own life. Her corpse lying in the mass of others, equally protesting humans.

She was a fighter.

Not me.

Myths that Beta's family loved so dearly weren't mine, they were hers. 

I wondered what would Timea say, if she saw me like this: pathetic woman overpowered by delirious wolf, blinded by strong feeling of hatred, but weak enough to not stand up for herself, for all of the humans. Maybe, after knowing what my father did to me, she would understand the reason behind the sacrifice I agreed to, the choice I have made. And maybe not. But the truth was, even after what that monster did to me, I haven't regretted my decision, not only for a once.

„Why are you up so early?" It was five o'clock.

The Alpha asked again. „Have you slept at all?"

„No," I turned my head aside, facing him.

Feather like touch tingled my cheek. I didn't flinch or shiver. My trying was over. The damage was already done.

He took a deep breath in the want of speaking, but I outpaced him. „I kept my promise," sighing slightly I continued „Now keep yours."

Beast chuckled. „Your part in this contract haven't been fulfilled yet."

I looked up. Confusion radiating from me. „W-what do you mean?"

„Not only your body is mine to claim," long fingers trailed to my left breast, tapping skin above the beatings of my pulse. „Your heart is supposed to be mine as well."

I shook my head sharply. „I haven't promised you that."

Alpha's smirk widened even more. ,,Did you really think, that it all ended with yesterday?"

 „No, Alpha."

„Good," wolf's nasty breath stroked feminine features, „bacause," feeling of nausea building up deep in the walls of my empty stomach, „yesterday was only a beginning." and with these words leisurely disappearing into early morning orangeness, the Alpha kissed me: slimy, repulsively, possessively...like the predator licking sweet fresh blood of the newly killed prey.