Anima Mea

CHAPTER 6

Have you ever thought of dying?

No?

I have. Many, many times.

It was believed that the death come with light: white and warm, pain you felt equal to the amount of goodness you held in your soul, it's pace matching the deeds you committed.

Death is fair, they said.

I didn't know.

I have never met with justice.

It didn't exist in our world.

There was only truth trapped within wolf's paws and the lie lying on the human's tongue. In the trails, which were rare for my race, we were judged as liars, marked like guilty. The wolfs, on the other hand, innocent and aggrieved. We were living in the territories filled with false truth and trustworthy lies. In the confusing cosmos.

But if the death, killer beasts suffered was slow, full of misery and torment, flashbacks of crippled, bloody bodies playing before their closed eyes, it could be, maybe, considered just. Only dead able to confirm or disprove.

These thoughts flooded my mind while I was in the bathroom. Unchained. Finally, after twenty hours.

The Alpha allowed me to wash a little, referring to it as my reward for eating. Ridiculous it sounded, but I appreciated it.

„Are you finished, moonlight?" Raspy voice muffled by the door, he was leaning into.

Feeling better, in the clean underwear, I uttered a small whispery yes, making the door open.

„No more chaining, please," I begged quietly, while he was leading me to the bed.

Monster sighed, throwing the handcuffs and freezing chain away, somewhere in the night's darkness of the room.

„You learnt your lesson," I nodded, ,,I suppose."

He was right. I did.

Keep quiet or lie, the truth leads to death. Always.

„Search for your father began," shocked grimace appeared on my face. „The Beta is the head of patrolling the borders and nearby territories. If the wanted will not be found, searched areas will be extended."

„You hate him," I knew what was coming next, „Why?" The beast, walking across the room, asked intrigued.

I didn't answer, not at first. Thinking.

„Talk, mate," feeling of dirty grasp on my hip made me shiver, „I need a reason, and a good one, to report my acting to the Council."

„That man," I spitted out, not able to adress him properly, „vowed to protect me, but instead of taking me to the no one's land as he promised," pausing I gained enough strength to continue, „I was drugged in my own room, taken away to the woods and left there, on the frosted mold, in the middle of January, to froze alive." Alpha's claws were pulled out, slightly cutting the cloth on my form. He was getting furious. „Soldiers found me, after couple of hours - hypothermic, but sill breathing. Because humans are not allowed in hospital rooms, they immediately took me to the Safe Centre, where, in the irony cell, I was healed, only by the help of wolf's nurse who visited me twice a week, giving me a few painkillers, cold porridge and a little bit of warmer tea," I gulped, „It took me two months to fully recover and later, by selling me in the trade, Safe Center gained a lot of money from the buying Beta's family did, the reason for the higher price was stated as prolonged health care."

„What about your mother?"

Lonely tear appeared in the corner of my eye, slowly trailing down. „She was an alcoholic suffering from deppression caused by affairs of my father," sparks of pity were dancing within Alphas orbs, „I found her lying on the floor in our bathroom, wrists covered in blood, heart not beating, senses not responding." I paused for a moment, „It was only a year before father's attempt to kill me."