Comfortable Chaos

Chapter 16

After my little pep talk with myself, I step out of the bathroom and place my belongings back in the room Andre and I had shared. I finally walk out to where the noise was coming from. Greg was sitting on the couch with his left arm slung across the top of it. He heard me walking out and looked my way.

"Hey, sleeping beauty." He smiles.

I smile weakly. "Hi."

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah." I lied.

He nods and stands up. "Are you hungry? There's cereal, oatmeal, eggs in the kitchen."

I shake my head. "I'm fine."

"I have to feed you or Andre is gonna kick my ass."

I drop my gaze to the floor and smile. We both laugh a little.

"Okay."

"Good." He walks over to the kitchen. "So, which one would you prefer?"

"Oh. Cereal is fine."

I reluctantly sit down at the kitchen table. Greg grabs the milk out of the refrigerator and cereal out of the cabinet and places them on the table. He pulls out a spoon and bowl. "I hope you like Frosted Flakes."

"Sure. Thank you."

As I pour the cereal and milk in the bowl, Greg sits down at the table across from me. I become aware of his stare. What does he want from me? Uncomfortable, I try to divert my eyes away from him and focus on the cereal.

"You don't talk much, huh?" he asked.

What was I supposed to say to a man I didn't know who was offering me cereal and letting me stay at his house? Besides thank you, I couldn't think of anything else. My world has been turned upside down and I don't know the first thing about how to fix it. Now he wants me to be a chatter box.

I shrug. "I talk. I have a lot on my mind, I guess." I push a spoonful of flakes into my mouth and crunch slowly.

"Yeah. I suppose anyone would. I was around fifteen when I left home."

"Oh."

"It was rough trying to make it on my own. Nobody was going to hire a fifteen year old full time and if I was going to support myself I need to work at least forty hours a week."

"What did you do?"

"I hit the corner. Flipped some kilos."

He was a drug dealer. Great. I'm in a dealer's house. I wonder if a SWAT team is going to come in and raid the place before I finish my cereal. Greg chuckles.

"Don't worry. I'm legit now. I'm a machinist at a paper mill."

I breathe a visible sigh of relief.

"But at the time, that was all I could think to do in order to make it on my own."

"How did you get out?"

"Well, I didn't stay in it very long. The truth is I wasn't all that good at it. I mean, don't get me wrong. I made quite a bit of money in there but every day somebody I knew was turning up dead or in prison. One dude that trained me on what to do went to prison and got turned out."

I frown.

"The last I heard he was a part of some gang that 'services' the lifers."

Suddenly, I'm losing my appetite.

He smiles. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to gross you out but you see what I mean. I had to make my money quick and get the hell up out of there. So, I saved money, stashed it and exited the game. And not a moment too soon, cuz my other boy was shot two days later."

He's lived a crazy life. Please don't let my life get that bad. I'd have to go back home first, even though there would be Hell to pay. I swallow before my next question. "Did you ever wish you had stayed home?" I asked.

"No. My mother had left and my father did drugs. He was beating up on me every chance he got. I had to get out of there."

"But you're okay now, right?"

"Yeah. It took some time but I think I'm doing much better. And so will you."

I look down at my bowl of soggy flakes. It sure would be nice to believe that my dreams of college or not down the drain.

"I know. It's hard but it will improve. You'll get yourself together. Think about it like this. Life happens to all of us and it aint gonna be pretty all the time. That's cool. Once you go through it, you let it go and move on. Make a better life for yourself," Greg said.

While I sat there, Greg continued to be philosophical about life and overcoming obstacles. His view is that we all go through something but we should not let that drag us down. I had to admit; I appreciated the positivity. I like that someone took the time to tell me that I can still make something happen in my life, even though bad things had transpired. I still haven't told anybody about what Chuck did to me. I don't know if I ever will. I prefer to go on with my life and forget about it. Hearing Greg talk about overcoming obstacles makes me feel like I can.

After his advice and positivity, I begin to relax around Greg. We started watching TV, surfing cop and talk shows. He continued to reason people's motives behind the things they were doing. It was quite educational. He's almost like some kind of Svengali or something. I feel like I'm learning a lot from him, more than I'd learned from my parents in the last few years. I guess that's why Andre is so fond of him. By the middle of the afternoon, we tire of the TV and he starts showing me his music collection, which is as big as his knowledge. He puts on some music. Some of it I recognize and some of it I don't.

"You wanna dance?" he asked.

I shake my head. "No."

"C'mon. I wanna see if you have any skills."

He reaches for my hand and pulls me up. Greg does a couple of moves and gives me the floor. I try a few of them. He seems pleased with my effort. It's actually fun. I almost forget where I am. It really got my mind off my troubles for a little while.

Then, a slow song comes on. Instead of sitting down or changing the song, Greg reaches for my hand and pulls me closer to him. I feel a little uncomfortable but I don't want to be rude. So, I go along with it. We take a few slow steps without saying a word. His hand rests on my lower back. I keep my hands on his shoulders, praying that the song ends soon. I can hear his breathing pattern. It's a little quicker than I expected. I try to chuck it up to the time we've spent dancing.

Then, Greg tightens his grip and nuzzles his face in my neck. I gasp. He drops his hands downward and starts rubbing my butt. This isn't supposed to happen. I panic and struggle, finally pushing him away from me.

"C'mon, Brandi. Let me at chu. You know you want it," he said.

"No, I don't. I'm with Andre."

He reaches for me again. I snatch my hand back.

"No," I said.

"Man, Andre's probably gonna cheat on you anyway. For all you know, he could be out with another chick right now. Why not go ahead and do you?" Greg asked. "Live for you."

All of a sudden, Greg's so called wisdom is very questionable. I can now see that the whole morning and afternoon was a plan to gain my trust so that he could have sex with me, while Andre was a way. I can't believe this is someone Andre thought I could trust. He's a snake.

"No. I'm good. I think I'll go check my messages now." I back away from him and head back to the little room. This being on my own thing is going to be much harder than I thought.